Hi all, I haven't been on here for a good while now mainly because we had decided to go down the adoption route after our IVF didn't work. We then discovered to our amazement last sept we were naturally pregnant. We were over the moon. Then I found out when I was 12 weeks I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. After finishing grieving we decided to go back to the adoption process as nothing was happening naturally. Then 2 weeks ago we found out I was pregnant again, completely surprised but delighted. I got to 6 weeks this time I have had a miscarriage again. I'm going to be 40 the end of the year and all I can think now is do we try again and with my thyroid under control and some aspirin or clexane injs hopefully it will work out just go back to the adoption process and wait to try until we have our child?? I wish I had a crystal ball so I knew what would be the best option. It's so hard going through this mentally and physically!!
2nd miscarriage.: Hi all, I haven't... - Fertility Network UK
2nd miscarriage.
Awwww lovely. I'm so sorry for your losses. Iv been there know how it is.💝 My last three losses I didn't get passed 6 weeks then I got pregnant again found out I have a blood clotting disorder that increases risk of miscarriage I'm doing the Alife2 trial and doing heparin injections and taking asprin now also all the way through and thankfully I'm 17 weeks tomorrow. Thought I'd, share my story with you in the light that it may give you hope. Sending you huge hugs and lots of, love hun. All the best for whatever you decide
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Thank you. Congrats on your lovely news. Fingers crossed everything works out this time. If you don't mind me asking how old are you? My age is the main worry with everything at the moment. X
Thanks lovely, I'm 33 hun I understand your age concern. My youngest sister was conceived when her mum was 41-42. If that gives you any kind of hope.
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Thank you. I think I may be putting too much pressure on us but we are half way through the adoption process and I'm just thinking if we don't go back to it soon we will have to start from the beginning again. I just want a family. I never dreamt it would be this hard xx
You need to do what's best for you hun, if your getting too stressed out and it's consuming you then it's time to think about what's best for you as a family. Wishing you all the very best on your journey ahead hun. Do keep us updated 💝😘💝
Thank you. I really appreciate your advice xx
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Sorry to hear what your going through Sam. I'm 40 and had several miscarriages. 1 was a MMC at 37 with own eggs and recently a MMC with Doner eggs. (Several chemicals, and ectopics previously) we have Embryos and 2 cycles left to go as paid for a multi package with DE. We cannot go down the adoption route until hubby has had his liver transplant so will continue with DE till after the op and then decide what to do. I cannot conceive naturally now as both tubes have been removed. If I was in your situation I'd continue with the adoption process and let nature take its course. There's no guarantee of anything in this whole process and you may end up with a perfect match and your own perfect baby 👍🏻xx
Thank you baby 2016. The only thing is as we continue through the adoption process we have to use protection until the process is finished. That's my worry, that we won't be too start trying again until next year, and prob the latter part of next year. It's such a hard decision to make xx
Who's going to know if you don't use protection?! 😉 think of yourselves, and if you do get pregnant again then you don't need to disclose it straight away until you know everything's ok. xx
Knowing my luck I would be pregnant before I had my medical exam and it would be in my notes. If we thought we could get away with it we would Def do it but we don't want to annoy the adoption agency or think we are taking the Mick. Thank you for your help x
Aw yeah I forgot about the medical notes side of things. Do whatever your gut feeling tells you as you don't want to have any regrets which ever path you choose. Good luck in whatever decision you make and hope it all works out for you xx
Thank you baby 2016. My gut can't make a decision at the moment and my husband is in a crappy place at the moment after everything. We are both dreading work tomorrow but have no choice but to go in xx
Bless you both 😢 it's a very hard time for you both, and maybe the best thing to do is just to put everything on hold till you both feel in a better place. My loss was about 6wks ago now and it's taken me till now to feel half normal. We've got out followup on wed, but tbh we're going to leave it a few months before trying again as know how much a loss can effect for a while, hope it goes ok at work for you both. I've just done my first week back and cried the first few days but by the end of the week felt much better xx
Yeah it may be. It has been 6 months since our first miscarriage and I had come to terms with things and finding things easier day by day but now I feel like I have gone back 10 paces and have no clue what to do with my life. Good luck with the rest of your treatment when you decide to go back to it. In know how hard that is to keep going back but with the IVF each time it didn't work I dusted myself off and went back to try again!! Perhaps I should do the same now?? Xx
That's what always works for me. I hibernate for a while and cry all my tears, then get back up and start again. The hardest part for me was having my tubes out as knew it was all so final then, but after a few months I'd excepted it and cracked on with the ivf and still cracking on with it 🙄it's easy to make quick decisions when everything is still so raw, and the need for a baby grows even stronger after a loss. They say you are at your most fertile apparently upto 6 months after a loss, so maybe give yourselves another 6months naturally and go from there? As it sounds like your not ready just yet to move straight onto adoption, which I really don't blame you as I'd be exactly the same. Xx
That must be heartbreaking having your tubes removed. I admire you for coping so well with the situation. Yeah I read that about being most fertile for 6 months after so perhaps that is a plan to try and see what happens. I do want to adopt but I don't want to thinking what would happen if we had tried again, you know? Xx
I think you've answered your own question then 😊 no harm in delaying the adoption side for a while until your ready and have tried again naturally xx
Thank you. My problem is last Christmas I said to my husband I would love us to have our family either naturally or through adoption by this Xmas but that's not gonna happen either way now. Thank you so much for helping me with through this. I really appreciate it xx
Sending you a huge hug and in the big scheme of things a few more months compared to the rest of your lives is nothing. I too was hoping for a baby by this Xmas but that's not going to happen now....maybe next Xmas for us both 😊👍🏻🌈🌈xx
I don't need a surrogate hopefully it's just having the confidence to either go with trying again or adoption. We can't afford to pay a surrogate either. Thank you for the advice x
Thank you Emilyjenson for your kind words. I wish I was a strong woman believe me. Some days I feel stronger than others, at the moment but so much. We did think about surrogacy after finishing the IVF but we can't afford it. I'm hoping with the medication I may be ok next time is just knowing whether to go for it now or after the adoption. Now you mentioned the quality of my eggs it makes me think we should try again now x
Am so sorry for ur losses my dear take it easy am sure d one dat will stay will come. forget about ur age, is just a number! my mum hard other child at 46 so never give up.
Thank you abies. That's good to know about your mum. Makes me feel a little better. It's just so hard knowing what to do for the best xx
It is well ❤❤❤❤
Hi Hun, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses but wanted to say please don't lose hope of having a biological child because of your age. I'm 41 & had missed miscarriages ( concieved naturally ) in 2015 & 2017. I got myself into a state thinking it was game over when I went to a IVF clinic 9 days before I turned 41 but I was wrong. I appreciate many women at our ages will have issues with egg quality but it's not always the case. My clinic carried out lots of tests to try & find a cause for my miscarriages & then I started my first IVF cycle. I had 6 eggs retrieved & 3 embryos transferred back. I'm currently nearly 11 weeks pregnant & on a Clexane equivalent. I'm terrified most day's it's gonna go wrong again even after 2 early scans & I appreciate my IVF outcome was extremely lucky but just wanted to say us older women can still sometimes achieve our dreams. Sending you so many good wishes for your future whatever you decide 😘 xx
Thank you summerrainbow. I'm sorry to hear about your losses but it does give me hope to try again hearing your story. The hospital said they would give me aspirin or clexane inj the next time I get pregnant incase I have sticky blood. I'm also waiting for my thyroid levels to get back to normal as my last result was borderline. I'm hoping with the combination of both the meds next time it will work out for us. As the saying goes 3rd time lucky. Good luck with your pregnancy. I hope you and your baby stay healthy and well. Thank you again xx
I don’t have any advice but I’m sorry for your losses xx
Thank you susi88. I'm trying not to focus on it at the moment and give my body chance to heal and cope with what has happened. Going to a fun filled, relaxing weekend to forget about things xx
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