This time next year... is anyone else... - Fertility Network UK

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This time next year... is anyone else annoyed??!!

Jonesjp profile image
57 Replies

Just wondering if this is just me but is anyone else annoyed at Davinas this time next year programme? So far this series they have had two couples on saying they plan to have a baby in 12 months as there having IVF and in both cases they open up the doors and bam there they are baby in hand! Now don’t get me wrong, I know peeps can get pregnant from there first round and I’m very glad for them that they can, but it just makes it look like, hey were infertile but let’s have a quick go at IVF and make ourselves baby!! Could just be me being a bit hormonal, but even my OH said perhaps we just need to go on that show as clearly thats all it takes!! And it’s not like him to say much at all about the whole IVF situation. Sorry rant over, just didn’t think it was very representative of what everyone goes through! X x x

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Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp
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57 Replies

Yes I was very 😠 it wasn’t even a thing I sat and was like REALLY!!!!!!! Totally pissed off st the universe right now 🙁

Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp in reply to

I’m with you today hunny, some days just seem more rubbish than others!! X x

HPLondon profile image
HPLondon

I thought the same thing! I also think the phrase ‘this time next year’ is pretty damaging in the world of Infertility - so many times I’ve thought ‘this time next year I’ll be pregnant or have a baby’ - and it’s never been the case! Since letting that go, my mental health has improved a lot. That said, hopefully the show gives some people hope Xx

Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp in reply to HPLondon

I know what you mean hun, I used to like to have my life meticulously planned, not so the last 3 years! Hope is always needed but it just made it look so easy! I’m glad you’re in a better head space now, I find this journey so very up and down and just think this show hit a down day today! X x

BennioR profile image
BennioR in reply to HPLondon

I couldn’t agree with your post more, I feel like I’ve written it! Every hurdle we’ve had I’ve always thought “if we can just get over this then we’ll have a baby this time next year”. Still really hard to let go of those what ifs but you’re right is very mentally damaging when you don’t meet those self set goals! Xx

Star9 profile image
Star9

You’ve literally said everything I thought watching it. I was watching it on my own shouting at the tv, saying yes of course it’s that bloody easy!!!! 🤨🤨🤨xxx

Kyell2 profile image
Kyell2

Yes, I saw it and I thought the same!

My best friend called me in from the kitchen to say come and see this, you need to have that ICSI thing, look how fast it worked 😩 I said, I think that’s just good luck, but talk about setting unrealistic expectations!!! x

I totally agree... I noticed they have had at least 3 couples on this series who have become pregnant wishing the year of IVF .. I wish they told us their secret! 😉 Xx

Lynnr54 profile image
Lynnr54

It is frustrating. It just perpetuates the myth that you have IVF and hey presto infertility resolved. If only it were that easy!

Wishfully profile image
Wishfully

I didn’t watch this, but I’m pretty sure that if I had, you’d have heard me yelling at the telly 😂

I’m 99% sure that the reason I was so devasted when our first attempt ended as a chemical pregnancy, was that despite knowing the odds, I was convinced deep-down that IVF would work first time. The reality for most people is that it’s a hard fought battle... so programmes delivering the message that “IVF = the magic fix” really aren’t helping.

Em2405 profile image
Em2405

Oh gosh yes!!!! I’m so glad someone said something because I’ve been fuming about this since I saw the synopsis about the programme!! We’d all love it to be that easy! Good for them eh but how about we show the reality of IVF??!! More people should see the documentary on Netflix and then say how easy it is to have a baby! 🤬 made me very upset and angry. Shame on ITV xx

HPLondon profile image
HPLondon in reply to Em2405

What’s the netflix doc? X

Em2405 profile image
Em2405 in reply to HPLondon

One more shot, it follows a couples struggle through infertility and others along the way. Helped close friends of mine have a better understanding of the process and heartbreak we go through. More realistic than popping a baby out after a year!!! X

Dreamydoran profile image
Dreamydoran in reply to HPLondon

Wow.. thanks for this info I’m going to check out x

I've not watched it & I'm glad that I haven't! It sounds as if it's taken away the fact infertility is actually a long winded, emotional & draining situation. I find there is enough ignorance regarding infertility as it is without TV making it look as if all we need to do is pop along to a clinic & hey a year later we have babies in our arms. Bloody ridiculous!!!!

I won't watch anything like that as the premise just makes me angry.

I agree completely ! In the same way that every lady that is lucky enough to get a positive test after infertility will have the baby 🤦🏽‍♀️ I guess all we can do is tell friends and family how it really is 🤪 xoxo

jessleach2018 profile image
jessleach2018

Yep I sat there sobbing my heart out! 😢 made me feel like complete s@@t before going to bed 😤 x

Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp in reply to jessleach2018

I was pretty angry about it, ranting to myself whilst doing the hoovering, sounding like some deranged woman!! I’m sure I wasn’t like this before infertility!! Hope your feeling better this morning hunny x x

vic77 profile image
vic77

lol so funny to see this this morning as I was raging too..sadly I had a much more negative reaction as I hoped it hadn't worked for them as this would have shown a far more realistic view of ivf..it makes me so mad the programme choose to show only successes as yes gives the wrong impression of this hell...makes me so mad. funny as I said it looks like all u need to do is go on this damn show 😡😡😡😡raging at the world xxx

Gabi80 profile image
Gabi80

Totally agree. I had to turn the channel over at that point.. It upset and angered me. Made it look so easy.. And ta da here's our baby! As lovely as it is if it works first time, it's just not that easy for many of us. It's already difficult expressing to friends and family just how much strain and stress it puts on you physically, mentally and emotionally. But programmes like this - that make it look so easy - don't really help raise awareness. Xx

Autumnmoon profile image
Autumnmoon

Have to admit I thought the exact same!

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

I didnt watch this as Davina gets on my nerves if Im honest but I saw the advert and also commented to my husband "Maybe we should just go on there, seems to work no bother"! Probably a good thing I didnt watch it after seeing everyone else's comments....I would have been wanting to pull Davina through the TV! Ha ha ha xx

This is exactly why i didnt watch it as i saw a clip and thought "what a load of bollocks"! I hate programmes like this theyre a joke. They send out the wrong message to couples about to start IVF. i was thinking only yesterday that its about time they put a documentary on the telly about the real life struggles of IVF and ICSI etc etc to get the message across and make the public aware of how challenging it can be. Before i started this journey all my family thought IVF guaranteed a baby! There is not enough educating on this! X

Dreamydoran profile image
Dreamydoran

I couldn’t watch when advertised on tv... if only the true struggles were reported... I also said to my husband it gives a wrong impression in the sense that once you decide ivf it will happen first time or second time...

I said I should ask to go on the show as Divina must be a miracle worker!!! As were 16 failed attempts xx

Birdwithnoname profile image
Birdwithnoname

YES!! I was going to write the exact same post, I share the same feelings as everyone after seeing this show. I actually feel like an official complaint needs to be made as its completey trivialising the reality of ivf, very insensitive and upsetting for anyone watching going through fertility struggles and also misleading to those fortunate enough to be non the wiser. Shame on Davina , I’m so disappointed. Very bad timing when I saw it, I actually couldn’t believe it. I was upset enough as it was! And it’s not just the hormones!!

Gillyc1 profile image
Gillyc1 in reply to Birdwithnoname

I started following the programme on twitter coz I was going to DM them about it. Didn’t know they had to follow me for me to do it oooopscc

Lilli79 profile image
Lilli79

I can't stand this programme, but watched the ad and it also got me annoyed. I must admit as soon as I saw the woman saying I'm going to have a baby, I just thought she was 'deciding' to have a baby naturally and that she conceived within a month or something. If she did go through fertility treatment she must have been one of the lucky ones as no-one who's had long time issues would go on that show in case it didn't work for them. They really should do a proper ivf programme for the tv to educate people on the highs and lows of infertility.

Gillyc1 profile image
Gillyc1

I thought “here we go again”. That program will make Ppl think there is nothing hard about IVF. I wanted to scream at the tv. Ppl not in the know will now think that you get a fertilised egg, you pop it in and wham bam ya pregnant. If only xx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81

Ah I’m glad you said about this programme as I’ve added it to my list of things to avoid and thought it was just me being sensitive. Saw an advert and I just knew I’d find it too upsetting and now it seems totally unrealistic too.

I agree with others, this doesn’t help people’s preconceptions about IVF being a quick fix. We need more understanding about our struggles not less 😡

Rainbowhope profile image
Rainbowhope

I completely agree. I wonder if the shows producers thought how the show will impact on women who aren’t so lucky. I think the world still wants to shun couples with infertility problems and make it look like ivf is a miracle cure. The whole world seems to be made for women with children

Elynn profile image
Elynn

Haven’t seen it...the only realistic programme l have seen is One More Shot. It’s on Netflix. Should be compulsory viewing for everyone involved in the family journey.

MrsElbow profile image
MrsElbow

Couldn't agree more... with everything everyone has said! Portrays a totally unrealistic expectation.

vic77 profile image
vic77

I am going through an angry phase right now and am going to complain to itv about this. .might help develop their awareness and offload my anger..lol..I thought about linking them to these comments too if folk were ok with that xxx

in reply to vic77

Fine with me!

I found it annoying and misleading that they didn’t cover BFNs or miscarriage 😡 xoxo

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to

was going to mention that too...I think this view that ivf bam pregnant and pregnant bam a baby are so misleading as I and many ladies on here know only too well😢xxx

Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp in reply to vic77

That’s fine with me hunny and I’m not surprised your angry, your having a crap time of it and in all honesty items on Tv like this just rub salt into s very open wound, but I think complaining is a positive step and your actions may save others having to feel like this going forward. Sending lots of love x x x

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to Jonesjp

thanks hun xxx

Purpledazzle27 profile image
Purpledazzle27

Ultimately it is a feel good type of programme so they aren’t going to show any negative outcomes or the real struggle. It is very misleading and should as a minimum mention how difficult it can be. ITV may be interested in doing a documentary about ivf but they would need volunteers to go on the show and I know a lot of couples would not want to share such a difficult time. I know someone that was due to be on the show in relation to losing weight but he dropped out of the programme as was doing reallly well but stalled and so they aren’t going to show someone that failed. They just gloss over the failures. Big love to everyone.

I totally agree and i’m So glad I didn’t watch to the end!! I’ve had 6 cycles or should I say i’m on my 6th (currently pregnant but until I hold my baby in my arms i’m Not counting my chickens). Some people do get lucky first time but to think it’s easy is the biggest misconception and it’s ignorant to portray in that way xxx

vic77 profile image
vic77

Finally write to itv: hope this is ok

To whom it may concern

I am writing to express my concern at a section of the show ‘this time next year’ which was aired on Tuesday 8th May. It is with reference to the couple struggling with fertility issues who stated that this time next year they would have a baby and low and behold a year later they walked through the door with their much longed for baby. I believe in this shows history this is the 2nd time a couple have been successful in their dreams to have a child and it has been portrayed in this way in your show.

While I understand your programme is about good news and you want to attract viewers I feel the way in which this is portrayed in your show over simplifies many men and women’s struggles with fertility issues and having a much longed for baby. Portraying ivf in this way encourages the general public, many of whom remain ill informed anyway about ivf and infertility if they have not had personal experience, to think that if you have ivf then it will be successful. Many women, myself included wish it were only that easy. It looks like all you need to do is go on your show and after one round of ivf you will have your baby.

My husband and I are on our 6th round of ivf. Many years, emotional and financial pain later we are no nearer our dream of being parents. This sadly can often be the case for many couples, none of which comes across when programmes like this show only success. In addition many couples not only when successful in treatment sadly then go on to miscarry a statistic that is high with one in 4 women in the general public experiencing this however I fear with ivf this statistic may be higher as often ivf pregnancies are higher risk.

I constantly feel I am having to raise awareness of the issues facing couples going through Ivf, fertility and now for us sadly miscarriage as most people do not understand quite what is involved and I know this is a feeling shared by many people on the forum that I am a member of. With their consent I attach a link to a thread where your programme was raised by someone who feels the same as me.

healthunlocked.com/fertilit...

You can see for yourself the number of concerns people raise about ivf being portrayed in this way. I do hope you can acknowledge the issues I have raised and perhaps seek appropriate opportunities in other programmes to balance your content with a more realistic and honest view of what fertility treatment journeys can often involve.

Yours sincerely

Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp in reply to vic77

That’s brilliant hunny, you never know they may do a program on the struggles of IVF, let us know if you get a reply ❤️

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to Jonesjp

I will of course let you know..will post reply here..I would do anything now that raises awareness xx

Lynnr54 profile image
Lynnr54 in reply to vic77

That’s a fantastic email. Said what most of us are thinking in a very elequent way. Please do let us know if you get a response.

NMP1026 profile image
NMP1026 in reply to vic77

Thanks Vic. I honestly could not believe what I was seeing. Such a well thought out email xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to vic77

Just seen this Vic, well done! Its infuriating having our treatment over simplified! I hope you get a respones back, keep us posted!xx

Flimzee profile image
Flimzee

Well done for writing this. Thank you on behalf of us all xxx

vic77 profile image
vic77

But disappointing by this was the reply I got.

Thank you for your recent email regarding This Time Last Year.

I can confirm that your comments and concerns have been logged here at ITV and will be fed back to the relevant teams.

I truly hope this time the IVF is successful for you.

Good Luck!

May I take this opportunity to thank you for taking the time to contact us here at ITV Viewer Services.

If we can be of further assistance please do not hesitate to contact us again.

Kind regards,

Lilli79 profile image
Lilli79 in reply to vic77

That's totally crap 😞 'fed back to the relevant people' = filed in the 'couldn't be arsed to deal with' box. They are a TV company and all they care about is ratings, can't say I'm totally surprised by the response. Well done for trying though x

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to Lilli79

I know it’s rubbush😡😡😡xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to vic77

Vic email them back and ask them if their willing to put someone on the show that represents the true aspect of infertilty and tell their story and also see in honest ways if they will allow them to be back on the show if things were not succesful.

Could be someone on here could do it.

That reply is rubbish but, its a start of a convo

💝😘💝

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

I hate the bloody show anyway 😡😡😡screw them xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to vic77

I don't even watch it. What rubbish.

💝😘💝

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to vic77

Absolute mince Vic! Standard bullsh!t response from customer relations!😡👊 You tried hun!!xx

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to Cinderella5

Mince is right..no emoji for that 😂xxx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to vic77

Hmmm I'm not sure the English gals will get that Scottish saying! I know, no emoji for this either..... I think we need to request some new emojis!!🤔😂xxx

Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp

Mince, what’s mince lol! Yep no idea 🤣🤣 I can’t say I’m surprised by there response Vic, but thank you for taking the time out to try ❤️

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