It's been a long while...

[Flossy85]

Hi everyone not sure how many remember me it's been almost a year next month since our 8th and final ivf transfer ended in a chemical pregnancy.

As you know we attended an adoption event last July but needed to wait nearer to 9-12mth following final ivf before applying.

In the meantime we were referred back to our local gynae (7mth wait after they cancelled last minute...3times) as we had no funded ivf cycles left and unable to afford to go private it was suggested we might go back to try clomid for one final attempt. Well.... Appointment was going well until I popped up on the bed (bearing in mind iv had 3laparoscopies already) I was told I have a large endometrioma (cyst) on my right ovary and a lot of endometriosis even coming down into my vagina. My Fallopian tubes looked to be a little inflamed suggesting possible blockage from endometriosis....great. Things were not looking good at all and suggestions of needing dye put through my tubes and a major op (on the waiting list). We just knew it wasn't meant to be and had mentally prepared for a very long time for this point.

So... We began our adoption journey, first 2 selection processes and interview passed with flying colours and a glowing recommendation from our social worker to go to the next stage, but as with any good news always comes the bad...

Right before the interview I had found a lump in my upper inner arm and had an ultrasound followed by urgent mri where I was then told I have a solid mass tumour, then came the referral to an oncologist and a biopsy taken. I had to let the social worker know straightaway... As expected we cannot be recommended to go further forward for adoption until everything is 'sorted'.

Everything we have been through over the past 9years iv managed to remain as strong as can be but this has been the worst yet I cannot count how many times iv cried. I feel like my body is letting us down once again in our journey to become parents. I'm scared as can be and anxious for biopsy results and the not wanting to take in the talks of radiation and surgery and possible loss of feeling not mentioning the C word for fear of jinxing myself. I know most of this isn't related to ivf and fertility but I didn't know who else to turn to for positivity as I feel so utterly hopeless right now.

If you have got this far then I thank you for at least reading, I just needed to vent somewhere. I hope things are going far better for all of you lovely ladies 💗💗Xx

[Laceygirl]

Oh Flossy85, what a turbulent time you have had of it all. I’m sure you don’t want to hear pity etc, but I have to express how sorry I am for all the rough cr@p that life is throwing at you right now- you must be an incredibly tough cookie for all this to have happened and you’re still standing.... the fact that you are talking about this is awesome, and glad you are - just one in many steps of dealing with whatever it is you have.

Sending you so much love right now, i’m Sorry I don’t have anything constructive to say, but definitely here for venting and getting it off your chest.

You are a brave and determined lady -

Lots and LOTS of love 💕 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[Hidden]

Aww Flossy what an awful time your having, great news you have started the adoption process and hoping this is just a small blip and you can get straight back on it.

Thinking of you and hoping for positive results xxx

[elle80]

I'm really rubbish at finding the right words to say, sorry.... All I can do is offer you a massive hug and all my love. Xx

[Orla9298]

I’m so sorry you’ve had such a tough journey, it isn’t fair and I can’t imagine how worried you must be. We will all keep you in our thoughts with positive thoughts and hope for quick results, solution and healing to the lump so that you can move forwards with the adoption xx

[emu2016]

Oh flossy. I was so excited to see a post from you and now I just want to hug you. What a bloody journey. I’m sending so much love for you. Big big love x

[kumkums]

Hi flossy, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It's really tough. When are you expecting the biopsy result?

I pray for strength, healing and health for you in Jesus' name. Please feel free to vent here, we are all here for you. Please stay strong and there will definitely be light at the end of this tunnel by the grace of God.

[vic77]

Oh hunny I remember you and was reading this hoping for a better ending..you are so so string don't forget that..it is a dreadful hand you have been dealt and my heart bleeds for you. take lots of care and I hope you are back on your adoption road very soon xxxx

[strong-girl]

Your strong never forget that and nothing lasts forever Allow urself to cry xx

[Wishfully]

Wow, life is so cruel sometimes! Keeping my fingers crossed that you get a break here & your happy ending xx

[Cinderella5]

Awww flossy! What a beyond crappy time of it you're having! Gutted for you that everything is on hold and you're having a health scare. Really hoping that your results as not as bad as you fear. Sending you hugs and loads of love!xxxx

[Hidden]

You know I thought if you just a few days ago and wondered how you were.

Your endurance and heartbreak at everything you have been through and yet you still strong even when you don’t feel it.

Everything for a reason hun even if there are no answers.

Keep fighting , keep strong keep being you a WARRIOR X

[Aleelilook]

So sorry to hear about this Flossy, the universe can be pretty shitty (understatement!) I’m just sending positive thoughts your way and I wish you all the luck in the world for better news xxxxxx

[CheshireKit]

Just wanted to say I’m so so sorry to hear everything you’ve been through. You’ve done so well to keep fighting for your dream, I’m sure you’re stronger than you think. You’re in my thoughts and I’m sending you my very best wishes for a speedy recovery. Take care and keep fighting, you will get there in the end xxx