Iv not posted for awhile it’s been tough and it just does not seem to be getting any better.
I feel alone and fedup and this infertility journey is not helping.
My mother has never been around but it seems to hurt so much more now that she does not care I keep thinking why did god give her children when she does not Care.
I don’t even know what to say or how to feel.
Iv been crying all day and have lost my appetite really unsure seriously considering depression medication- anyone feel the same or have experience of depression medication ?
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strong-girl
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You poor thing. Have you considered counselling? I’ve never been on depression medication but I have had counselling and I found it helpful as the therapist focused on strengthening the coping mechanisms I already had. I accessed counselling through my work (lucky me) and that psychotherapist was much better than the fertility counsellor at my fertility clinic, although the fertility counsellor was good at laying out options when we thought we might consider using a donor. Talk to your dr and see if they can refer you for counselling - if you’re considering medication then you’d need to talk to your doctor anyway xx
I’ve been where you are, and I know how hard it is. My advice would be go to your GP and just talk, you don’t have to go on anti depressants if you don’t want, but it might help just to speak to someone.
I’ve been on and off anti depressants for years, and they did help me. I came off them when I started TTC. My GP said non are 100% safe for babies, particularly in the first trimester. So I was dead set against.
But because of what I’ve been going through recently, I saw an advanced midwife, who deals with ladies with mental health problems, and she said sometimes it’s better for mum to be on them, because happy mum is really important, especially going through to post natel. They said some anti depressants have very small risks, and she’s had lots of ladies have healthy babies while on them.
I have been trying to coceive for 7 long years with male factor infertility ad Dr did prescribe me antisepressants but told me it was only go to be for a short time only because I couldn't be on them in early preganancy. I told the Dr that it didn't matter because 1 I don't think I'll ever be pregnant and 2 being childless is the cause of my depression. I took the pills for about 3 months in total, bust started slowly weaning after being one them for just 1 month.
I also agree with what Kathryn says and depending on the severity and cause of your depression it be worth taking the risk. I did find cousenlling helped whilst I had it and for a time after, but now the despair is setting in again.
I think it also depends on the severity and cause of your inferyility too. I see so many women on Ovia app who are very distressed and they haven't been trying very long, some not even a year so the chances are they will probably conceive if they just give it another year and in that case I wouldn't advise taking medication, but if you like me, know your your husband has a medical reason behind the infertily and that, like us you have a low chance of ever conceiving naturally and things like IVF aren't an option either unless you can afford to go private which we can't, then the risk of taking medication is low and should be considered because if you're feeling as hopeless as I do right now then that can lead to something very dangerous and I wouldn't advise that.
Talk to your dr again or find a more sympathetic dr. One of the things that helped me to cope was that my husband told me we could always move away to where no one knows us and where we won't have to constantly see friends and family with their babies/pregnancy announcements etc. It's not an ideal option but at least it gives me hope and having tht hope there has helped me.
I have nothing but the deepest sympathy for what you are going through and I hope things improve for you
I’m on a fertility IvF journey and just at the start. I don’t know what’s round the corner and I recognise the odds are stacked against me being 42 and suffering with adenomyosis. Before considering anti depressants ask yourself what your goals are beyond conception, if it doesn’t happen. I’ve had to do some soul searching with my husband on this but the future with having no children looks and feels quite exciting.
In the meantime I’m going to do something that will seriously add some armour against needing antidepressants: exercise. I don’t want to go down the road of more chemicals on top of the hormone rollercoaster that is IVF. It’s a hard route to adjust to doing more exercise, but worth it if you don’t end up conceiving.
Then go for it! Make time for you, get out walking, then running perhaps? I do a ten - fifteen minute slow jog x3 weekly before breakfast. I get to yoga when I can, do gardening, swim when I can. I feel better because I look better, I’m distracted and I have more energy to want to do more things. I’d recommend exercise if you know it makes you feel better. Make time for you, enjoy stretching and long baths. Have pamper days or nights when you can and you might feel you deserve to be well. Good luck!
I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling this way, this frustrating and incredibly difficult journey gets too much for us all sometimes.
Like you, my Mum isn’t particularly supportive and is quite selfish at times so when this infertility is getting me down I seem to find that relationship even more difficult than ever.
About a month ago (just after our second cycle of ICSI resulted in a BFN) I hit rick bottom. I was crying all the time, I lost my appetite and constantly felt shaky, I honestly thought I was having a nervous breakdown. I spoke to a friend who suggested I speak to my doctor about some help and even just talking to her reassured me (she confided in me that she was taking anti depressants herself and I had no idea). I have been on them once in the past and they really did seem to numb the pain a little even though they can’t solve your problems. I was able to switch off the downward spiral of negative thoughts which allowed me to think straight and sleep a bit better.
I didn’t take them this time in the end though as my doctors surgery were a nightmare and I couldn’t get an appointment for over a month, so I gave up! But somehow I’ve slowly come through that deep low I was in by just taking one day at a time and forgiving myself for having a bad day. I’ve been taking any moments I feel positive or happy as victories and surrounding myself only with people who make me feel good. Also I’ve been seeing the counsellor through the fertility clinic and knowing I can let out every crazy thought to her has been helpful too. This journey is tough enough so it’s important to really put yourself and your emotions first.
Sorry I don’t have any proper advice about anti depressants while TTC or during IVF cycles but I’d definitely recommend seeing your doctor and asking their advice. There’s no shame in taking tablets, maybe try a low dose? And if it helps your mental wellbeing then it can only be a good thing. In the mean time though be kind to yourself and know you’re not alone in how you are feeling right now. You honestly won’t feel like this forever though so hang in there.
Good luck strong girl, you really are just that 💪🏻
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