Log in
Fertility Network UK
15,360 members25,497 posts

First failed cycle has hit me hard

Today has hit me really hard. My OTD is this Sunday but my period has been and gone so i am confident it hasn't worked. I am coming to the end of my degree and today was looking for jobs in my area (special needs childminding) I had always wanted to work from home mainly to have time for my longed for family and to help children with difficulties. When looking at the jobs I noticed a lot of the parents were my age and I just felt so sad that they would be bringing their children to me yet I've not achieved something I have always wanted at our age. I now feel like my degree is wasted and that I have no idea what I want to do I don't even know if I can face working with children and seeing parents acheive this.

I am going to phone my clinic for counciling on Monday just to see if it helps and will hopefully help in the FET .

6 Replies

Aw Sammy, I’m so sorry. Just had my BFN on 1st IVF cycle yesterday so understand and feel your pain acutely. It’s heartbreaking. Make sure you test on OTD as you may not be out of the running completely as I’ve read about a lot of people who get red bleeding and sometimes still get a BFP.

I’m a teacher with early years and not sure if I can face going back to the children as it will break my heart a little more to work with young kids that I cannot produce into this world. It seems so unfair. Take time and be kind. You haven’t wasted anything. We are all much stronger than we think but we all need time. Will be taking counselling too, think it’s a great idea. Best wishes to you and sending lots of hugs xxx

1 like

I know exactly how u feel. I've had one failed icis and think this one had failed too as my period is here. I'm a teaching assistant and dreading going back to work next week. I'm sorry it didn't work xx


I think counselling could help you, i found it very useful, well done for deciding to go for it.

I work with children and am almost 40- in my area this means I am nearly old enough to be the parent of some of the parents! At work I try to remember what a privilege it is to be allowed to spend so much time with other people’s children. Whilst going through BFNs and miscarriages, I tried hard to keep the faith that one day it would be me, and had a long term plan finishing with adoption if i could not have a child of my own. This helped me to know that there would be children of my own in the end. I am currently 6 weeks pregnant from my third round of ivf and hoping this could be my time. Lots of us on here know how hard it feels for you at the moment. Sending you lots of love x


Thank you ladies, it's reassuring to know there are lots who have/are feeling this but horrible that we are all going through this journey.

I really hope we get our BFP and can move on with our lives and enjoy it the way we had dreamed.

LizzieLizzieLizzie: thank you and congratulations, wishing you the best of luck for a healthy pregnancy and babba

1 like

Hi Sammy, sorry to hear how you're feeling and just wanted to say don't give up on your dreams. Working with special needs can be challenging, but so rewarding and the world really could do with more kind and caring people like you! 💙

Also my clinic told me that this year their frozen transfers have been more successful than their fresh! So there's still hope. I know it probably doesn't feel like that right now though.

Take care of yourself and I hope everything works out for you xx

1 like

I'm so sorry Sammy18, we got our first BFN today too and lovely AF made her appearance in the afternoon stratoght away. We're absolutely devastated and haven't stopped crying all day.

Hope you feel better soon and keep the faith xxx


You may also like...