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Fertility Network UK
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First cycle of Ivf failed

We found out yesterday that the first cycle had fail, and it feels like my heart has been ripped out. My db has azoospermia, but has 8 vials of sperm frozen, he has also been through this before with his previous partner, which first time resulted in a bfp and he now has a gorgeous 5 yr old daughter. 9 egg were retrieved, but we donated 6 to help with funding. All 3 eggs we had left all fertilized, but only 1 made it to blastocyst. Struggling on what to do next as i turn 37 next month and my db doesn't seem to want to go ahead with treatment anymore due to funding and outcome with me getting older and maybe not retrieving any egg at all, even tho my count is good for my age. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

😢😢xx

8 Replies
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So so sorry for your failed cycle, it is just cruel.

It seems you respond well to treatment and it's a shame your db doesn't think he wants to continue. It's definitely a situation were you both need to be comfortable.

I think maybe you both need some time to process what a happended and take it from there. After a break you may both decide to try again.

I think you would have a very good chance of getting more eggs going from your numbers but as I say it's a personal decision to try again.

No advice as such. I hope you can come to a decision that you're both happy with. Xxx

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Thank you genten, any responses will help. Never been through this before and i dont know anyone who has, apart from db, finding it very difficult to be round his daughter at the moment, which i know its not her fault, but i really dont know how else to deal with this pain. Im also only 36 next month not 37 heads all over the place at the mo 😔 xx

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Aww I can only imagine. Neither hubby or I have children from previous relationship but I can see why it's hard. Some days we just don't cope as well as others.

I know you don't feel like it but you do have time and by the sounds of it, good eggs too that's really positive if you do go ahead.

Xxx

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I’m very sorry to hear your cycle didn’t have a successful outcome. I know how difficult this will be for you and your partner to come to terms with.

You don’t have to make any decisions today. Maybe give yourself a few weeks to come to terms with what has just happened and you might both be in a clearer state of mind to decide on what you want to do next.

Sometimes at the end of an unsuccessful cycle I would be adamant that I wasn’t going to put myself through it all again but needless to say, after a few weeks or months I was determined to give it another shot.

Take care of yourselves xx

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It's so very difficult and not many people get a bfp from the first round. Having found the strength to go through all this it would be a shame not to try at least one more time. Hopefully you can find a way once you have had time to heal xxx

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Hi, just to say my first cycle failed this week too. My test day isn't until Friday but I am bleeding heavily and getting negative tests. I don't have any real advice but I know the way I am dealing with it is - first have a really good cry for a day or so. Then try and remember that nothing has actually changed from before your cycle, you still have the life you have and are blessed with a fantastic partner and a gorgeous 5 year old step daughter. Give yourself some space and then find some time to both share your views.

Age wise you have loads of time. I am 41 nearly 42. We have decided to just keep going and try again asap just because thats our way of dealing with it.. we all have different coping mechanisms and if your partner was willing to try this time I imagine in time he will probably want to try again. It all takes time, but if its any consolation you don't cry nearly as much on day 3 xx

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Thank you for all your comments, it means a lot. Never posted on a forum before, but didn't know what else to do or who to speak to. Daisy1245 sorry to hear that you are in the same position as me as its the most awful thing i have had to experience. Hopefully your 2nd cycle will be bfp and i wish you all the luck. I would love to try again straight away, but we just dont have the funds at the moment. Im hoping after our follow up appointment with the clinic it will help my partner see there is still hope yet xx

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At 35/36 and with a good reserve for your age I think you’ll be ok to take a little time out. Perhaps with a little time your OH may be more inclined to want to try again. I’m sorry for your bfn by the way, they’re really difficult to deal with xx

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