Fertility Network UK

Time to love myself again

After struggling emotionally and mentally with our chemical pregnancy nearly three weeks ago I think it's time I started concentrating on looking after myself again. These last few weeks have been tougher than I ever imagined and I'm still quite surprised at how personally I took our first failure.

The amount of anxiety and the way the whole process has seriously knocked my self-esteem and confidence is incredible - to the point where I just sobbed on our stairs last Saturday unable to move as I was sick of sitting on that bloody couch and it felt like a safe place away from the big bad world.

We are booked in for a FET in May/June (the hospital never asked just assumed) and after having a good chat with my extremely patient husband we have decided to postpone to July to allow ourselves to heal and just be 'normal' again.

I've seen such heartache lately on this forum and I genuinely feel so sad for us all, life's a total shitter at times isn't it?

Anyway enough rambling, time to dust myself off, enjoy life again and get ourselves to a good place in life ready for attempt number 2 in the summer.

Big hugs to you all

xxx

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Hi LauraM1986. Oh my poor thing! People fail to realise that a chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage that comes with the same heartache as one further along the line. You are perfectly right to allow yourselves time to recover from this and to look after you. I do hope you have had some support around you just now, but the members here will do that too. I don't know whether you were offered any counselling, but it might be an idea to have a couple of sessions to talk over your feelings. There is also a charity called the British Infertility Counselling Association who are specifically trained in all fertility matters and relationships. There is a charge, but do have a look at their website and see what you feel. bica.net Also, I do have a list of questions I could email you in confidence if you want. too long to add here, but you might like to look through them before you go back to see your specialist again. Email me at support@fertilitynetworkuk.org and I will send them. Thinking of you. Diane

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Thanks Diane, I don't think I ever appreciated the toll it took on us both and probably still is, we will get there though xxx

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Hi. You will my dear, but always accept any offers of support if you are given them. It's tough! Diane

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Thanks Diane xxx

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Sorry to read all you’ve been through, I think sometimes taking some ‘me’ time helps. Your right about the safe place, I often feel like I’m in a protective bubble with my hubby and dogs at home. I hope in time you re build your strength and your next cycle brings your rainbow xx

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Hi Laura, I am really struggling emotionally and mentally at the moment too. I know I am not myself, I’m a great big ball of anxiety. I think you’ve made a tough but brave decision to take some time to just heal. Good luck finding you again and getting stronger before your next appointment x

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Wishing you the very best of luck xx

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Aww bless you. Enjoy the next few months being you and being a couple free of fertility worries. Good luck for July xx

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your story is breaking me. I feel sad for you. but I am so happy to see: you are trying to recover on your own. I can understand chemical pregnancy makes someone dead from inside. but you are considering yourself first. it is the best thing. don't worry dear you will recover. you need a good diet. good physical activities will also be helpful. go for counselling once. you need complete rest to think about future as well. it is the time where you must also support your husband emotionally. well, I must say you are a brave woman. good luck dear.

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I’m sorry to read about your chemical pregnancy. I think it’s a good thing to take some time out from all things IVF related. It can get all too consuming at times.

Take care of yourself 💕 xx

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