How to navigate disappointment & hope at same time

[Dbwaters]

Hi there, I am 34 yo female, with stage 4 endometriosis. Had a 6mm endometrioma removed from my right ovary in 2023. AMH fell from 29 - 8 just from removal of that cyst.

My partner is 31 and has a good sperm health.; We just went through our first ever round of IVF after over a year of trying naturally - never seen a positive line on a test.

The egg retrieval was ok! My right ovary was a non-responder (hardly surprising as its so tiny now) but my left had lots of follicles (over 16 counted on a screen). They managed to retrieve 8 eggs, of which 6 fertilised on Day 1.

By Day 3, we still had 5 embryos. Yesterday, we went in for our fresh transfer. We went into the room with the doctor and embryologist, and they told me there and then only 1 embryo had made it to day 5 and it was a 4bb. I was overwhelmed and upset - but I didn't have time to process because they INSTANTLY did my transfer.

I am navigating some really hard feelings. I am so upset / disappointed / wondering what happened to have such a big drop off rate. But I am also trying to be calm and hopeful about the one embryo we do have that is inside my uterus right now. I feel all over the place to be honest and am really looking for some guidance and reassurance.

I feel like I'm already thinking ahead to when we have to do this again, rather than sitting and enjoying the moment?

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi. Oh my goodness, what a shocking time for you. I am really hoping that your little one is here to stay. Make sure you have all your prescribed medication and test on the day recommended by the clinic. Hopefully this one will srsy, but wharever happens i would speak to the embtyologist, tosee if there is an explaination. Thinking of you. Diane

[Dbwaters in reply to DianeArnold]

thank you xx

[Twiglet2]

it is good to have a plan for what if this one doesn’t work but for now try and enjoy the first few days of having your amazing embryo onboard! A wee 4BB is a great embryo and has every chance 🤗 good luck! Xx

[Dbwaters in reply to Twiglet2]

this is so lovely thank you xx

[SarahHit]

I was in a really similar situation to you with my first round. I have two endometriomas on one of my ovaries but the Drs don't want to touch them. Our first round I got 11 eggs, 6 fertilized normally and we only got one viable embryo on transfer day. But that embryo stuck and I have a 3.5year old! Your embryo is graded much better than mine (2bc) so try not to lose all hope.

[Dbwaters in reply to SarahHit]

I keep re-reading this and it makes me feel so much better, thank you xx

[Millbanks]

Hello lovely,

I remember feeling much the same after our first cycle - the drop off rate was big and I was really shocked. They don't really prepare you for that - yours sounds pretty normal though.

But the fact is, you have a little embryo tucked up inside you and that is all you need right now.

IF it doesn't work, then you can go back and try again - they will tweak your protocol to maximise everything. There is a lot you can do to enhance egg / sperm quality if you need to as well.

I found that during the 2ww I tried to hover along a line of "if it works, great - if not, then we'll look at next steps".... I tried not to imagine seeing a positive test or a negative one because I found that I swung wildly between hope and dispair.

You've got this xxx

[Dbwaters in reply to Millbanks]

That’s such kind advice thank you. Xxx

[Mim9]

Hi, I’m in a similar position to you. 34 years old, stage 4 endometriosis, cysts on both ovaries, AMH drastically declined after surgery. We only managed to get one egg from egg collection (as limited access to ovaries) which fertilised to a day 5 and is currently in the freezer for FET next week if all goes to plan! Just wanted to wish you well and hope it’s a positive outcome for you xx

[Dbwaters in reply to Mim9]

Gosh what a fighter of an egg. I wish you so much positivity for next week - let me know xxxxx