So Mr Emu’s mum will start her six weeks of treatment in about four weeks. Meaning that we’ll be away having treatment for approximately the fourth week of her treatment.
I’m obviously worried now that this is completely the wrong time. I’m worried we should leave it and rebook it for a month after she finishes but then she could be having more treatment. I’m worried we’ll have to tell her and Mr Emu’s family of what we’re doing. I’m worried I’m worrying so much it’ll go pear-shaped because I’ll drive my body out of action. I’m worried about Mr Emu. IVF, poorly mum, risk of job redundancy coming up by end of June. Hells bells.
What would you do? X
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emu2016
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I don’t know what I would do but from the little you’ve written about her, I think maybe she would want you to carry on if you asked her. What does MrEmu think?
She’d definitely want us to carry on. Mr Emu is probably in a better place about it than me now! A little bit of me wonders if I’m looking for an excuse to stop because I’m so worried this time. Does that sound as silly out loud to you as it does to me?! 😂
It doesn’t sound silly at all, it sounds logical! My question would be, if you stop now, will you ever start again? Another question is, if you stop now then start later and it doesn’t work, will you always look back and regret not going for it now?
Finally, are you having any counselling atm? You’re dealing with really big stuff here xx
I think lizzie right maybe think about what she would advise you to do..I sometimes think if you wait for things there never will be a perfect time xxxx
Agreed with above. She would want you to go ahead. And maybe speaking it through with a counsellor would help. Make sure you get one who knows about fertility and massive life events.
You are not silly, we all have millions of questions going around in our heads.
Thanks Camillage. I just said to OH; she’d be so angry if she found out we hadn’t. She told me yesterday now she might have longer it gave her hope she might see another grandchild and that being our child. Yes; I cried! Ha xx
From what you’ve said in the comments above it sounds like you’ve answered your own question. It is understandable not wanting to be away during treatment but it’s for a very good reason. I think counselling is probably a good idea too to help get your head round everything that’s going on x
i agree with everyone else don't put it off and regret it. My mother in law was having treatment throughout our investigations and cycle and I'm glad we didn't put it off. Sadly, her cancer had already spread and she passed away at Christmas after a two year long battle but it's some relief to know that she was so excited for her grandchild to be born and got to spend her final days rubbing my tummy ❤
oh I'm glad it helped. I was unsure whether to post it as i didn't want to upset anyone but know what an awful time it is for the whole family. It is still difficult especially as each first Mother's day, anniversary, birthday etc passes but pregnancies and new babies definitely give the whole family something happy to focus on. Stay strong, you can do this! X
There's never going to be a perfect time to do this - there will always be a reason to not do it. However, I think if you didn't go through with the IVF now you would regret it. Also, if treatment was successful, do you think that would give your MIL something to fight for? xx
I had a question do you think your hubby could just travel out to "do his thing " and then come back. Would you be open to the idea of staying out there on your own. Just wondering if this could be an option to consider to balance everything..
I know it is far from ideal an option but might help you to progress but not put sooo much stress or feel like you need to say anything.
I travel out for FET on my own. And although it is not easy it' ok.
god it never rains, but it pours - what timing. i agree with all the other ladies - your mil sounds like you - a wonderful, strong person & she’d definitely want you to proceed as planned.
it’s defo worth looking into counselling or perhaps some kind of alternative therapy like reflexology or acupuncture to help you come to terms with everything that’s going on.
you’re in my thoughts. sending love & positive vibes✨💕✨
Hi Mrs Emu. I would advise you both to carry on, now. “Mum” would want that too, I’m sure. Just you look back at what you’ve both been through to get here, so for now put yourselves first and carry on. You’re not disappearing off this planet, you will still be around for Mrs Emu senior, who will understand., and you will be back with her before you know it. Thinking of you BIG. Diane xx
Reading through all of the replies and your own replies I think you've probably decided to go for it. If it was me and my hubby was ok with carrying on then I would do it. You never know, you may just end up with a fabulous reason to make your MIL's day. From what you've aid about your MIL so far and the bond you two have, she would want you to give it a shot!!xxx
No not at all! I think you just needed a sounding board to check it was ok to go ahead with so much going on at home....hey that's what we're here for!!xxx
Hiya if you don't feel like you will be completely relaxed leaving mr emus mum then you should re arrange just even a few weeks. The most important thing in ivf is to be as stress free as possible. I'm so sorry for what you are going through just now xxx
Hard decision to have to make. If it was me I would have to choose which ever option felt right inside with me, I'd probably delay for a month as one of the biggest stress causes for me is worrying about others, and if it didn't work I know I'd rightly it wrongly blame the situation, so for me it would have to be which ever option made me feel the calmest and guilt free, as when you do do it, that's your time and the time when you both need to be selfish to a certain degree and put your own needs first xx
So sorry you have so much going on. It’s a lot to be dealing with. I think I’d agree that there’s never really a right time and from the sounds of it, she’d want you to carry on if she knew. It might be something positive to focus on too. The prospect of job redundancy is very hard as well and something I can relate to as I know there’s an announcement coming at my work. We’ve decided whatever happens we’ll just carry on, even if I’m made redundant as having a child is our priority right now. Good luck with it all and I would agree with others that counselling may be a good idea as you’re going through a lot right now, it may help to talk it through with someone. Xxx
Hey Mrs Emu, it never rains but it pours! Having read your post and the lovely replies, I tend to agree that your mum in law would likely want you to go ahead with your treatment. I think if you and your hubby are feeling up to it, I would be inclined to go ahead. I can really relate to you worrying about worry! I have been there too. I’ve reached a point where I don’t think there’s a “right time” for IVF but there’s only so much a person can deal with at any one time. The other ladies’ suggestions of having some counselling in the next few weeks sound good if it’s something you’d be open to. Wishing you so much luck in your decision making Dxx
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I just said to OH; she’d be so angry if she found out we hadn’t. She told me yesterday now she might have longer it gave her hope she might see another grandchild and that being our child. Yes; I cried! Ha xx
How to tell people to mind their own business! 
