Third time lucky?

[emu2016]

Tomorrow we’ll start our third round of IVF.

The drugs are ready. The injecting tutorial is being rewatched. My nerves aren’t here. My positive outlook is making appearances when it can. I’ve got used feelings of being relaxed and defeated at the same time. Is that possible?

I know for some women here that might read as selfish or like I shouldn’t be doing it if I’m not 100% in to it; but I’m convinced this is the way my body protects itself from it all going wrong again.

It’ll be exactly one year to the day we start again. We could pass through the one year anniversary of the devastating Manchester terrorist attacks on the one year anniversary of our BFP.

Mr Emu is the strongest I know. We’ll have our transfer about 4 weeks into his mums chemotherapy treatment for lung cancer. I’m not sure this is the best timed cycle. But when is? Another month later? And at risk of Mr Emu being made redundant, it feels like no time is ever a good time.

I desperate for this to work. But, I’m desperate to have my life back. Our life back. That’s all we want really...a life we crave or a life we know.

Big hugs to you all. Especially our warrior donor. She rocks. I’ll apologise now for the crazy posts over the next 6 weeks! x

[Emmyeve]

Work with your body, it’s always trying to help you remember that. Trust it and work together 💙

[emu2016 in reply to Emmyeve]

That’s so true xx

[Smang]

There is no right or wrong way of how to feel. Wishing you the very best of luck xx

[emu2016 in reply to Smang]

Thanks Smang x

[E_05]

I feel similarly as my next cycle approaches, I think it’s only natural to have ways of self protection when you’ve been through such heartache.

I agree is there ever a right time, am hoping the chemo works. My FIL is 3 months into his and so far things are looking positive. Lots of luck for this cycle for you and Mr Emu xx

[emu2016 in reply to E_05]

It’s a rocky road. We’ll get there x

[Loopielu]

Sending a massive hug and so much love your way 💗💗💗. Sounds like poor Mr Emu has a lot going on, bless him. I can totally relate to what you’ve said and it’s not selfish to protect yourself and your feelings. My therapist made a very good point on this, which is very true - you’re going to be hurt and upset if doesn’t work even if you go into it without fully engaging to try and protect yourself, so why not just embrace it and try to be positive and enjoy it. Hard to do but I had to admit she was right...

All the positive vibes your way lady. You’ve got this and you can do it! xxxx

[emu2016 in reply to Loopielu]

She probably is right! I’ll be feeling the rush of strength tomorrow as I start to inject no doubt! x

[Rachwithers]

Bless you, it’s so hard isn’t it? Never feel guilty for feeling the way you do, each journey is personal and unique, and however you feel is okay. Wishing you lots of luck for your third cycle! We begin our first ivf cycle in 2 weeks, would you be able to send me the injecting tutorial video you mentioned in some waY please? My clinic haven’t given me anything like that and it’s adding to he feeling of apprehensiveness that I’ve got! Xx

[emu2016 in reply to Rachwithers]

Of course! I’ll find it now! x

[emu2016 in reply to Rachwithers]

If this doesn’t work, click on buserilin and then agree you’re old enough to watch...

pharmasure.co.uk/video-guid... xx

[Rachwithers in reply to emu2016]

You star, thank you so much! Cx

[Amanda86]

Wishing you so much luck Emu! I don’t think it’s selfish at all to feel the way you feel, when I went through the 3rd round of treatment I felt the exact same, in my head I was doing it because it was time to, not because I felt ‘ready’ or anything.

Very normal for us to have these feelings I think, we’re only human after all! 🙂

Everything crossed for you xxx

[emu2016 in reply to Amanda86]

Here’s hoping third time works x

[Amanda86 in reply to emu2016]

🤞🤞🤞

[Hidden]

Good luck , I've got everything crossed for you ,🤞. Your such a strong lady you can do this xx

[emu2016 in reply to Hidden]

There should be a crossing toes emoticon! x

[Hidden in reply to emu2016]

Yes there should ,😁 lol x

[Aleelilook]

Good luck lovely, keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you xxxx

[emu2016 in reply to Aleelilook]

Thanks xx

[destiny121]

Wishing you all the best and i hope its your time.... its not being selfish.... your just in protective mood..... big hugs xx

[emu2016 in reply to destiny121]

ta xx

[Kyell2]

Wow, that’s a lot of drugs!!

I hope, hope, hope that this is your time. Sometimes when the time isn’t exactly right that’s when you get your bit of good luck and you so deserve it🤞xx

[emu2016 in reply to Kyell2]

Thanks Kyell2! It’s a long journey coming up! Crossing everything now xx

[Hidden]

Wishing you lots of luck, I hope you get your miracle this time xxxx

[emu2016 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! x

[kumkums]

Wow Mrs Emu, I love your creativity in writing and design, who would have thought a heart will come out of cyclogest, progynova, Suprecur and needles. Well done to you.

I wish you and Mr Emu the very best. I also pray grandma Emu will beat cancer and recover well and meet little Emu or Emus soon.

Once again, I wish you the very best. BFP and baby or (babies).

[emu2016 in reply to kumkums]

Thanks KumKums. Hoping for the best outcome x