It has been a rollercoaster of emotions and finally started seeing someone in the gynea clinic. I eventually had the HSG test on Tuesday and I was an absolute mess. Apart from the unbearable pain I suffered. I just started to wonder. Is it really worth the fight, I am not entirely religious or spiritual nor is DH but this journey has really got me thinking, maybe it's not meant to be, maybe its a sign that I am not to be a mother? I know it sounds very dark and gloom but I am exhausted from the anticipation, the waiting game, the unknown. They cannot find a reason for my infertility (DH SA came back amazing, I guess he has super sperm so it is all on me). I have extremely irregular periods (again no pcos or no real reason, apparently it is the way I am wired and also got told at my HSG that I have a tilted cervix - hence why the pain). Can't help but feel like poopies
I guess I just wanted to rant and get it off my chest
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npat90
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Hey just wanted to say the journey can take long and throw a lot of testing times along the way but once you reach near the end of journey and you pee on that stick and see a bfp you just seem to forget how much you had to deal with and how much it was all worth it 😘 xx
It’s entirely up to you of course if you decide that this journey is not for you. However, ask yourself if in 10 years time you think you might regret giving up so soon? If you think you won’t have any regrets that’s good, but if you think you’ll regret it then you really must fight for what you want. This journey will get tougher, a hell of a lot tougher before you may get what you want, but just imagine what you could get at the end of it... it would all be worth it. Good luck xx
I think only you can answer that! I have felt exactly the same at various stages and thought can I do this. But generally something inside just keeps me going and I know I will make a great mummy no matter how that happens. My OH was told his sperm was amazing from the SA (they generally test this early on in the process) but after a failed fresh cycle our consultant suggested we test his sperm for any chromosomal abnormalities. For a long time I had believed it was all on me but who knows (we haven't had the testing done) I think once they suggested this he then felt the same as me. This forum has really helped me and helped open my eyes to other possibilities. As much as I want to have a child using my own eggs, that may not be possible and I now feel able to consider other options if necessary in the future. Good luck xx
I have found in the past that the fear of not ever having a child is what put me off or made me doubt myself and if i can stand the journey but once i got over those thoughts I just knew that I would at least try everything I could and the hope keeps me going.
It is absolutely up to you and your OH as to what you decide to do but I would just advise that you take it step by step and don't think to far ahead. Miracles do happen.
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