Another BFN and really struggling

Hi all,

Just needed to vent a bit really, it's really helped posting on here previously. Quick summary, GP suggested male factor infertility after 2 sperm analyses (very low motility and morphology) and after my bloods came back healthy. Infertility clinic ignored those and wanted to look at me further, just to assess I guess. So far all blood tests great, had an internal ultrasound and waiting on next AF to book a HSG. During the ultrasound the doctors were really pleased. Ovaries good size, great follicle count, and they showed me that my dominant follicle was right about to burst. I was due to ovulate any day! Decided to really try after seeing that! Something about knowing for definite that I was going to ovulate was really reassuring. But now 11 days later, BFN and all my usual pre-menstrual symptoms. I know deep down that we're just not going to conceive naturally, but for some reason I'm devastated with BFN number 500! (Exaggeration, but probably not far off!). I guess on the plus side once AF arrives I can have the HSG, I'm not looking forward to it but that's the last test they're asking me to do before "further discussion".

I'm so sorry for all the negativity, especially when reading through all the other journeys happening. Wishing you all the luck and success you all deserve. This community is so helpful :) xx

12 Replies

  • Are you being seen by a gyne at the clinic? It annoys me that the guys generally just provide a sample which could be borderline or low and us ladies are sent for every test going to see if they can find anything and if not, then IVF referral starts as in their mind, icsi can be done.

    I'm a firm believer that things don't just not happen, there has to be something underlying, so if you think hubby needs to have further tests, then ask for further tests now before you go down the IVF route. Even if it means going back to the GP and asking for him to be referred to a fertility urologist.

    I'm having fertility reflexology, we both are actually, but she was talking about the sperm structure and how it can stop fertilisation or contribute to miscarriages if not right.

  • Thank you. I think my biggest problem is the confidence to be firm in the appointments. At the fertility clinic we've been seeing a nurse and she said she'll be directing the process. I really do think that my husbands extremely low motility and morphology warrant more investigation. I'm waiting on AF any day now (every symptom and pain imaginable this month!) And once it arrives I'll of course book my HSG, which I anticipate coming up all clear like everything else. Then I can ask much more with real justification I think x

  • I know, it's so difficult as you want them to help you and in theory they are the experts!

    If there is something niggling you then try every angle to get them to investigate it before you get sent down the route of IVF, as when you get to the clinics they aren't necessarily interested in the route cause as some of their mentality is that IVF bypasses that.

    It's also difficult when it's your partner as the male pride thing comes into play. Maybe he'll want to approach the GP separately to state he's concerned things aren't being investigated and what other options does he have.

    Anything is worth trying...

    Good luck X

  • Thank you. I talked to my hubby today about me being more assertive in appointments. He's going to listen to all my questions before we go next, and ask anything I forget or get overwhelmed with. He said he wasn't feeling at all upset by his results, he had just believed what we were told in the last appointment and felt that maybe things weren't as bad as they seem on paper. I feel bad for taking that away from him now. I've got my HSG booked for next Thursday, really nervous x

  • Glad you've got it booked in. Are you taking someone with you and have they told you to take pain killers before. I've had two hycosy's and they were pretty painful whilst they were taking place. You'll be fine...the things we put ourselves through!

    Glad hubby is going to help in the meetings :-)

  • The big day is tomorrow. I'm really nervous but yeah I've got the pain killers ready for the morning, and I know it seems a bit much but I've booked the day off work. I'm dreading it but I know it's important. Then it will just be the 4 week wait I've been told to expect for the results xx

  • Hi, sorry to hear your story. This journeys so hard, I think the worse part is all the waiting in between tests .

    It's good there doing the hsg, i really had to fight for this on the nhs, and it turned out one of my tubes were blocked .

    Have you had a laparoscopy ? They offered me this but I declined as the wait was 6 months and due to my age I felt I'd waited long enough. So got them to ref me for IVF . ( think nhs like waisting time to be honest) I had so many set backs / long waits ect . But in the end I did get ref , had IVF and got my positive result 3 and half weeks ago.

    Depends if age is on your side , but it is a really positive thing having your tubes checked . I really think this should be one of the first investigations they do .

    Good luck ? Let me know how you get on. Xxx

  • Thank you, it's reassuring to hear positives about the HSG. I haven't had a laparoscopy, I think if the HSG comes back fine as well I'd really like to stop being prodded for a while lol. I think age is ok, I'm 30 as is my husband, but we have been trying for 16 months now :(

    Many congratulations on your bfp!!! That's really wonderful news :D I can't imagine how it must have been to see your positive result. Even just the thought of it gives me goosebumps.

    Thank you for your support x

  • HSG booked for next Thursday (16th). Really nervous already but pleased it's not another month to wait xx

  • Hi after 3rounds of ICSI due to male factor infertility i still get upset when I get my period after a 'natural' month trying. I've got hubby on Ubiquinol, fertilsanM & omega 3. I'm also taking Ubiquinol & a prenatel. Even today I did a test knowing it would be bfn but I'm still gutted & waiting for the inevitable to show tomorrow 😕 x

  • I'm so sorry to hear that. It really is emotionally draining. Wishing you so much luck x

  • Hi, my husband also has very low sperm/morphology. He gave a few samples and he was told this, I also had the usual bloods and I was fertile. Our doctor referred straight away (our tests were done over a 6 months period, we carried on trying to conceive naturally knowing it wouldn't work) the Gp referred us for icsi/ivf a couple of months after that our process began. My advice is directly as your Gp if there is funding for ivf in your local area and ask him to refer you to a clinic of your choice. Good luck 🍀x

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