Now we have a reason

[SeaChange]

We had the transfer yesterday, and everything went smoothly. We also got the chance to speak with the embryologist more about why we had complete failed fertilisation on 12 eggs we tried conventional IVF with.

They aren't 100% but they think it's something to do with the 'locking' between the egg and the sperm. ICSI gets over the problem which is great, and what it does tell is us why we haven't been able to conceive naturally. Previously just 'unexplained infertility'.

On one hand, it's a relief to have a reason why it hasn't worked. On the other I'm sad that I don't think we will ever be able to conceive naturally (was holding on to a small hope that after a successful IVF we would be able to conceive our next one naturally)

OH broke my heart a bit when he confided in me his fear that it meant we weren't compatible. Love that man, and clearly reassured that is rubbish.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Where egg and sperm are both fine, but just won't connect?

[_MrsC]

Sorry to hear what you’ve been through. My husband and I were told after two failed ICSI procedures that we are biologically incompatible. This was devastating. We closed the door on treatment and are focusing on the emotional side of our relationship. The last thing we want is to lose the last 15 years. I hope that they can overcome your issue and you won’t get the same result as us. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. xxx

[SeaChange in reply to _MrsC]

I’m so sorry to hear what you have been through! I read your post from when your consultant said “genetically incompatible” and the following conversations you had with friends and family at the time. It must have been really difficult.

It’s one thing for my Husband to have an inner fear of being incompatible, very different for a medical professional to use that language with you.

I hope you have enjoyed the time you’ve since invested in yourselves and are beginning to move forward from that loss.

Xxx

[_MrsC in reply to SeaChange]

Thanks. It is hard. It continues to be tough as they say things that are not meant to be hurtful or frustrating but inevitably are. It’s a burden you carry forever and you just try and get through each day searching for whatever joy you can. Keep hoping until someone tells you otherwise. I will add you to my prayers. x

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear you got this news. On the one hand you must feel relieved to have an answer ( I know I did after being diagnosed with endometriosis previously unexplained too) but also feel worried at the same time.

I don’t have experience of this but wanted to wish you the best & hope the ICSI is a way around the issue. 😘 xoxo

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi SeaChange. Hard to hear, I wondered whether they spoke about whether ICSI may be an option for you both. Some eggs can have tough shells which makes it difficult for sperm to penetrate naturally. Sorry if you have already discussed this option. Thinking of you. Diane

[SeaChange in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks for messaging Diane, yes we are going ahead with ICSI, they did some eggs as that on our recent cycle so we have something that is working which is amazing. Just a disappointed that I don’t think we will be able to conceive naturally ever. But really I count my blessings that ICSI exists and is working for us. Xx