Fertility Network UK
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Managing ivf/ infertility and work?

Hi,

I’m finding juggling life/ work very difficult with treatment. I started an icsi cycle in January which had to be cancelled before egg collection. With this I had to have a lot of time off from my job for appointments. Emotionally it’s overwhelming and to go through it all for nothing has been heartbreaking knowing I need to juggle it all again with no end in sight. I have a professional full on job which causes me anxiety at times anyway and can’t make any changes in terms of hours etc. Just wondered how others get through it without completely losing their minds 😩

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Hello, sorry to hear your cycle was cancelled. It's a tough process already without having to deal with a negative outcome. Have you told your work what your going through? If so I'm sure they understand about your appointments etc. Maybe take time off work during next cycle, well during the tougher parts of cycle to relax your body xx

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Hi, so sorry to hear about your cancelled cycle! it really is so tough to try and juggle everything when your emotions are so strained as it is!!

I too have a professional stressful job & decided to confide in my manager and I have to say it’s made it so much easier in terms of time off!! I also got signed off for the more challenging (physically & emotionally) stages of treatment!! Wishing you the very best of luck!! xxx

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Just wanted to say hello and sorry you’re finding it hard to juggle life and work with treatment. It’s such a lot to cope with both physically and emotionally. I can definitely relate to what you say and am sure most people on here can too. I’ve had 2 fresh cycles, 2 frozen (and also a cancelled frozen and a cancelled fresh) over the last 18 months, so my time off has gradually stacked off. What’s your relationship with your manager like? When I told mine, she was really understanding and it took the pressure off. It didn’t resolve the problem and I still feel anxious about work and find it hard to get everything done but it did help to not have to make excuses. Also, for my first cycle, I took annual leave because my boss didn’t know but for subsequent cycles she encouraged me to take sick leave and was flexible about working from home. I know I’ve been really lucky and other work environment aren’t the same, but perhaps having a chat with your manager might be a good first step.

Take care

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Hi I'm sorry your struggling. I also have a stressful job and on our 3rd ivf in a year I'm emotionally drained. I can't tell work I'm the only female manager and I think they only hired me as I was too old for kids!!! Well I can't concentrate I missed a deadline the CEO decided to give me a written warning. I can't stand my job I got a written warning the Friday telling them I was having an operation the week after been I flew out to Athens for treatment. My careers in tatters and I just don't want to go back tomorrow. So beleive me I know how you feel I fall to pieces I'm crying in the loo all the time I can't confide in anyone. I would try take time off mention the word gynalogical to a male manager they let you have times off for appointments sorry to rant!! Xxx I actually took a weeks holiday last week I might take a week off sick. Oh and suffering from stress and anxiety I use to turn to alcohol I can't do that now lol...good luck xxx

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I’m really sorry to hear your cycle was cancelled. I know that must have been so very difficult. I relate totally to what you’re saying with regards to your work. I actually found it helpful to tell my manager I was having IVF. As a result they were really supportive and very accommodating in letting me out for appointments and so on. I also took several weeks off for some of my cycles. Could you use some annual leave or sick leave to give yourself some breathing space during treatment? xx

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My managers know and have been very supportive which I’m really lucky for. However nothing stops when I’m not there and have to take annual leave or work extra hours to catch up from when I’m at appointments. When I’m not in properly it seems all my work goes to crisis which isn’t my favourite way to work. It’s just so hard not having a crystal ball and having to carry on. Sorry I’m being a bit depressing lol. I’d say tomorrow is another fresh day but tomorrow is Monday 😳 xx

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I know what you mean the basics get done but the backlog when you get back is horrendous!!

I'm so pleased you ladies have an understanding manager it must really help. Good luck with your treatment remember your the most important person and do what's right for you. Take care xxx

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Thank youxxx

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Do you have option to work from home? I understand the work getting out of control for appointments but working from home might help you balance work and appointments easier? It's so tough but make sure you focus on your treatment more than work because it's more important xx

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Yeah I could try working from home to see if it takes some of the pressure off xx

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Hey

I’m in a similar position working in a demanding professional role. I don’t want to tell my boss or anyone at work as I want to keep it private. It’s really difficult at times as I manage a large team of people & it can be very draining. I’ve recently also had an employee raise a grievance against me a few weeks before embryo transfer in addition to getting ready to move house next week. Had ET last Wed. I’ve taken annual leave for a week to avoid work stress! It’s really difficult juggling everything. I try to work from home once a week & that helps. Xx

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Oh no that's awful about the grievance, just what you need eh?! When I first started getting tested for fertility I was really stressed out and was managing a team of about 15, mostly men. They were such children about everything and I was constantly getting complaints because I was managing them too hard apparently (luckily I had some lovely admin staff who always backed me up). I gave up in the end and now work part-time managing no one! You're so strong to do this all together. I worked in a really male dominated job so definitely couldn't have confided. Hope you can take some time out and they are nice to you when you return xx

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Sounds familiar regarding the childish behaviour. To be fair the guys are fine. It’s the girls who are the problem. I’m almost there in resolving the issues. I’ve had to do a lot of hiring & firing in the last few months but it’s all part of the business transformation. My boss has backed me 100% on the grievance & HR are on my side so that makes me feel better. I’m moving house at the end of the week so that is distracting me from work 😊. Sounds like you have made a great new career choice! I may consider a similar path if I don’t have any success with IVF over the next few months. Xx

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HEY ! when you win some you lose some.Taking depression and everything in your head is just going to take all your energy.Sit down try making yourself a little bit more positive and if not possible than look for other means of having a baby, search internet it has a information on a really wide spectrum.things might not get better but you won't regret that you never tried.Happy searching girl!

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yes, I feel you because I was in the exact same situation in 2016 when I was pregnant with my first baby, It was very difficult to cope with everything especially the stress that my job brought along with it.At last, I decided that I should only care for my children and not take everyone on the job so seriously haha.It really helped my mind calm down.

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Hello, managing work and treatment is very challenging. I’m actually dreading this part when we start next cycle in March. Last time I was lucky that I had a very good relationship with my boss and his boss and spoke to them openly. They gave me all flexibility I needed so I worked from home a lot - when I had appointments and after embryo transfer. I took 4 days off for EC -2 days and ET - 2 days. Would it be possible for you to work from home? I hope your next cycle is successful x

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I've found work the most stressful part!! First round last autumn unsuccessful - was very emotional at points, esp on the nasal spray. Only told those those on need to know basis for practical reasons and said I don't want to talk about it - I was crying despite talking logically at this point! However one colleague didn't seem to hear this and proceeded to question me after every appt, what happened etc and how exciting it all was and imagine if we had twins!! Playing about with the hormones ain't fun!!!! I had quite a few folk asking me "if I was ok" during 2ww and kept going when basically cut off and ended up going off sick just to get peace and to try and relax.........

Info is in the post about our next cycle and NO-ONE is getting told AT ALL!!!! Management and my direct boss knows we're doing another cycle but it's going to be literally telling her when appts are and that's it. I'm not taking any work crap this time. This time, I hope to speak to GP to arrange time off for 2ww as unfortunately I work in a school so I'm unable to set my own hols and they are rigid so it would have to be sick leave or unpaid leave.

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