Work and IVF: Me and my fiancé are just... - Fertility Network UK

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Work and IVF

teresabanner profile image
15 Replies

Me and my fiancé are just starting out with all this, he had his first sperm test that came back with a count of 0. He’s being tested again and I’m having hormone tests done etc.

My question is how has everyone’s work been as obviously it’s an emotional journey as well as a physical one.

I’m a support worker so my job is emotionally draining anyway and I lone work as well as work 24 hour shifts etc

Has anyone told their job or kept it secret further down the line. I know it’s so early now to say anything (my colleagues know as we are all close)

Thanks x

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teresabanner profile image
teresabanner
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15 Replies

Hi sorry to hear about your husbands results.

I was a support worker when we first got referred for ivf and due to my shift patterns I told my Work and I am very lucky they really support me. It turned out just before we start our first cycle I went for an admin position in the company and got it which meant I wasn’t having to stress about how physical my job was but that stress shifted to how I would fit appointments in around working mom-fri 9-5. Again I can’t knock them on every cycle I have given them a rough idea of appointment dates and they have flexed round it.

I do understand some company’s are not supportive and you will never know how they will be until you say it. It’s a hard decision. I am glad you have colleagues to talk to xx

Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp

Hi hunny, I haven’t told work nor am I planning to if I can help it. As long as everything goes to plan I’ve fallen quite lucky with my scans, 1 is on bank hol mon so they won’t know about that one, the wed morning one I’ve booked a half day and Friday I don’t work so they won’t know about that either, just have to hope my ovaries play ball so that they stick to my planned scan dates!! X x x

kirstyblue profile image
kirstyblue

I told my manager but only because I felt I had to explain all the time off that I needed..he didn’t say much to be honest. Was more on about how I will make time up etc which made me feel rubbish because I feel I have no support at work at all. I’m still glad I told him because there was no other way to explain the time off. If you feel it will save you stress then I’d say tell your manager x

staceymac83 profile image
staceymac83

Hi I am also a support worker for people with mental health so it’s very mentally draining.

I have been honest with my work from the start and during my fresh cycle a few months ago I ended up taking some time off and my work was very supportive. Xx

Hope4usall profile image
Hope4usall

Hi I work for the NHS and my team leader has been brilliant! Through the maternity leave policy you get 5 days absence for assisted conception for treatment days etc. I also took the time after transfer off as sick leave so i wasn't using all my annual leave up.I personally think it helps to have at least one person you trust that you can turn to at work. It is so emotional and just after my last cycle I was very emotional so needed that support in work. I couldn't do it without telling my manager and her support has taken the pressure off considerably, but I appreciate not all managers are that understanding!

Good luck with what you decide to do xx

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13 in reply toHope4usall

Ooh I work for the nhs but don’t think there’s anything at all about assisted conception leave - I guess it depends on each trust? But I’ll double check x

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply toScarlett13

My trust have a certain number of days you can take off for fertility treatment too so definitely worth checking. I didn’t find out until afterwards, by which time I’d worked loads of extra hours so I could take it as time in lieu 🙄

My managers had to know really, as sometimes I had to rearrange patients’ appointments which would have been unacceptable under any other circumstances. Everyone was so supportive though so I’m glad I told them.

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13 in reply tokt_11

I’ve been using up annual leave for appointments and sick leave for egg collection and transfer - I was told at the start that the trust policy has nothing on ivf but I’ll check again...

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply toScarlett13

It’s a shame if that’s the case as some trusts obviously have that support.

I think I used A/L or sick for egg collection and the few days afterwards but I didn’t actually need time off for transfer as it was on the Sunday of August bank holiday weekend. I just worked extra to make up for all the scans.

I just didn’t want loads of time off sick in case I get ill another time and my records show too much sick leave! That seems to happen a lot where I work 😞

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13 in reply tokt_11

I’ve told everyone too for same reasons xxx

Beechnut1 profile image
Beechnut1

Hi I’m midwife so work all round the clock. I got my GP to sign me off of doing nights when doing my treatment and this has really helped stress level. I also told close colleagues and my line manager, I wouldn’t be able to get by without there support. My advice would be only you know what you need and don’t be afraid to ask for it, you have to put yourself first! Best of luck xxx

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13

I’ve told everyone and got good support x

Novice_knitter profile image
Novice_knitter

I’m an nhs worker, I’ve been lucky that work have let me take the time off as sick leave to have procedures & recovery time, GP has signed me off after transfer - they will if you ask as they’re aware of the impact it has - meds etc.... Additionally hospital appointments come under special leave at our Trust so haven’t needed to make the time up afterwards.

I worked my butt off at work before I had OHSS and went off sick, I think this helped! I have a really supportive team lead, and a line manager above him who’s experienced infertility which is another massive plus in them being so understanding. I let them know really early on as I was struggling with the emotional impact of it all and they’ve been great - I think I’m definitely one of the lucky ones in all this. My employers have definitely gained my loyalty going forwards xx

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13 in reply toNovice_knitter

My team co ordinator wouldn’t let me use special leave for it, but I’ve had 2 surgeries that was 5 weeks total of sick leave and then annual leave for appointments and time off after procedures. Your work sound great! X

Novice_knitter profile image
Novice_knitter in reply toScarlett13

They’ve been really great, I just hope they can be this understanding if I need another cycle (but obvs hope it won’t come to that!!). Xx

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