Scared to start treatment: Hi, have... - Fertility Network UK

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Scared to start treatment

Jm82 profile image
Jm82
8 Replies

Hi, have been following this site for a while now but this is my first post. My partner and I have been ttc for 2.5 years now with one very early miscarriage. We are not eligible for nhs treatment so have found a clinic that we are happy with and are ready to start but I'm feeling really anxious about it and scared about the side effects of the drugs. I will be on long protocol with burselin to start with that I've heard is really not very nice.

My main worry is I'm just about to start a new job, I don't have a choice as am only on a temp contract where I am now and as we are self funding I need to work. The new job is only 5 mins from home and 15 mins from the clinic but I'm panicking about not feeling well or not being able to concentrate. I have decided to wait until I've been there a month or so before I start treatment. This way I'm hoping I can work out how I will be able to get days off and swap shifts so I can fit in scans etc

Has anyone else started a new job and treatment as well?

Good luck to everyone on here I hope 2018 is a good year

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Jm82 profile image
Jm82
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8 Replies

I started a new job "knowing" I'd be starting treatment within a couple of months. I looked at it from the point of view that a job is a job, and having a baby was far more important to me so I chose not to care what they would think, as difficult as that would be as I've always been a hard worker and can't stand it when people question whether I'm good at my job.

We were prescribed the right drugs to allow us to get pregnant before IVF, so I'd only been there a month when I got pregnant. We had a scare yesterday when I started bleeding. I was due on a training course that cost thousands, but instead spent the morning at the EPU. I chose to go into work afterwards and tell my boss (being conscientious, good employee, etc) and my boss was a complete bitch. It has certainly got rid of any guilt I may have felt for dropping them in it and going on maternity so soon after starting.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't think twice about it. Your rights are protected in terms of fertility treatment. Any boss that is worth working for will be understanding and supportive. And you have got so much of your career ahead of you that a blip now is not worth worrying about. However, you may regret putting off treatment for a job. Your family life is more important than any job. Good luck with your treatment, and the new job xx

Jm82 profile image
Jm82 in reply to

Thank you for replying and congratulations I do hope all is ok with your pregnancy now and that it goes well for you.

I am a natural worrier and I think I'm working myself up thinking about it, hoping once I start it won't be as bad as I'm expecting.

Your right having a family is much more important to me and I am nearly 36 so don't have time to wait.

Xx

oharal profile image
oharal

Hello,

Whilst I haven't started a new job with treatment, im hopeful your new company will understand what you are about to undertake and be flexible with your working hours for scans etc.

I am on Buserelin and now and have had no side effects. I had an emotional few days a couple of weeks ago and get the odd bad headache (used to them from Clomid though) but otherwise I have been fine and felt so positive. Keep visualising what you want and it will happen. Good luck xxx

Jm82 profile image
Jm82 in reply to oharal

Thank you, is good to hear that you haven't felt too bad on burselin. Good luck with your treatment xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

Hey, welcome to the forum! I think the way your feeling is totally understandable, I’ve done the long protocol twice and although bueserlin can make you feel a bit rubbish it never made me need to take time off work - make sure you drink lots of water.

As for your new job, I started a new job last year before my 4th cycle and it was the best thing I did, I feel less stressed in this job but have also realised a jobs a job and my treatment is far more important. I use to sit waiting for my scan worrying how late id be getting back to work or if they’d be annoyed but I’ve stopped all that. I’m sure your clinic will be accommodating around your work to and be able to offer early/late scans etc. Wishing you lots of luck xx

Jm82 profile image
Jm82 in reply to E_05

Thank you, is lovely to speak to people who understand, me and my partner havnt told anyone about treatment so feel pretty lonely at times.

Thanks for the tip on drinking water will definitely do that, anything to help and good to hear you havnt taken time off work.

Have just been getting myself worked up that I'm going to be a emotional mess when only a few weeks in at work!

My clinic do scans from 7.15 I think and I will be working different day time shifts either starting at 7.30, 10 or 12 so hoping if I'm due a scan I can swap shifts with someone.

Wishing you all the best with your 4th cycle xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Jm82

It can be a lonely journey but you’ll get lots of support on here, feel free to ask any questions.

It’s natural to get worked up, the unknown of this journey is what makes it daunting, you probably are going to feel more emotionally than normal and although part of that will be down to the drugs it’s also down to that fact that your finally one step closer to chasing your dream xx

I have experience of both telling and not telling my work. My first round of ivf was just a couple of months into starting a new job and I didn't tell anyone. For me that just added to the stress. More recently I have told my work and they could not have been more supportive. It really made me feel so much like a weight had been lifted from my shoulder.

I guess you don't know how they will react but at the end of the day who are work to tell you when you can and can't try for a baby? This is more important than anything and at the end of the day you could have started in the job and be trying naturally.

Do whatever you feel will make your journey less stressful.

And i wish you all the very best.

x

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