Today was suppose to be our transfer day after ICSI. We got to the hospital, on to the ward, saw the embryologist - we have 3 eggs to freeze all top quality and one fresh to transfer today - into theatre and got to see our little embryo. So far all good.
The doctor starts the procedure but has trouble getting the catheter in. (When I had the dye test they had the same trouble but used a smaller catheter and all was fine.) I explain this to the doctor who tried a smaller /softer one. Lots of talking about things I didn't understand and I was also starting to panic. The doctor says the neck of my womb is tight which is normal as I havnt been pregnant before - panicking even more. She uses clips for something or other and a few more minutes pushing and prodding.
Then she stops. Nurses start to disappear leaving only 3 of the previous 5. At this point I knew something was really wrong. With my legs still up the doctor explains they need to freeze my embryo and will not be transferring today.
I was heartbroken and started crying. Doctor asks me what's wrong and continues to explain that freezing embryos does not lessen our chance - at this point I switch off and am so pissed off with doctor for asking me what's wrong.
I walked back to my bay in tears. Later she came back to explain that she's not sure where the catheter was going as it wasn't showing up on the scan as being in my womb and lots more technical stuff. So they cancelled the transfer and have referred me to another park of the hospital to have a camera inserted to see what is going on and also widden the neck of my womb. Then come back in a few months to try again.
I am distraught. Not because of the embryos being frozen - as doctor though but - because today I had my heart set on coming home with my embryo on board. I was ready - after 5 years of trying and waiting - to take the next step and move forward. I was ready for the 2 week wait and now to find out the journey has stopped and we are set back a few more months has just broken me today.
I wasn't even aware that this was something that could happen.
I know this is also stupid as people are going through far worst but for me today has just emotionally drained me and broken my heart.
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JLB2
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I’m so sorry got you Hun. What a stupid thing to ask you ‘what’s wrong’. Going through treatment is so stressful and mentally draining and you do have to build yourself up for each stage, so obviously you are going to be heartbroken when it suddenly stops and gets put back months. I’d have done exactly the same thing as you. Your little embryo will be waiting for you when they’ve dealt with whatever the issue is. Sending hugs 😘xX
Awww I'm sorry sorry honey! I've had lots of trouble in the past too, it's heart breaking. 💔 The Drs must see us ladies get so stressed out and upset, it doesn't even touch a nerve for them which of course if not right at all but they get hardened to it all.
Try to take heart that that you do have some lovely embryros that you can hopefully have put back soon. When you speak to the clinic, ask then if they plan to dilate your cervical canal under GA before next transfer or try a mock transfer first? I had a hysteroscopy and dilation at the same time. I still got sedated for my next transfer but this time they gave me buscopan beforehand which is a smooth muscle relaxant and helped me a lot.
I know it's upsetting but there is a lot of evidence that a difficult transfer lessens your chances of success....you don't want to waste those precious embryos. Sending massive hugs, I understand how hard it is!!xxxx
I did read this evening that difficult transfers can be less successful. I am just so confused and split between knowing that the doctors do this every day so will make the right decisions to get the best results and being frustrated with myself - even though I know there is nothing I can do to change my body.
Sometimes our bodies just don't play game....I completely sympathise with You, I think I've almost got the entire bingo card with down regulation not working, having no embryos to transfer, lining too thin, difficult transfers....you name it! Hang on in there!!xx
It hurts doesn't it when you look forward to something only to be told no it's not happening.
I am very sorry. I can imagine how hard it is. Wish doctors properly planned it. I pray that things move quickly and you have your beautiful healthy baby soon. My prayers and best wishes
Hunny I’m so sorry to read this, I’m really not surprised your so upset this journey is such an emotional roller coaster and we build ourselves up to each part of it, I’m sure anyone else in your shoes would feel the same. As for the doctor, words fail me!! Allow yourself some time to be frustrated, angry and upset hunny and don’t be to hard on yourself. I have my fingers crossed that you’re Frosties will be your bfp 😘 x x
Thank you. I am just all over the place right now but know I will pick myself back up and look forward again. Fingers crossed these next tests are happen sooner than I think they will be.
I totally relate to you. I had a similar experience last November and my 2 little embryos had to be frozen. My doc said that the catheter looked like was heading towards a false passage and that she would have done a disservice if she would have transferred at that point as it was the wrong route. I had to go back after some days (second of period) to do a cervix dilation (painful :/ ). But she then managed to see what catheter to use and how to insert it. Apparently a false passage was created as a consequence of a polyp I had removed last June!
I totally understand your frustration, this journey is full of closed gates, attempts, change of plans a true emotional rollercoaster. But please think about your embryos, they're still there just waiting for you. And studies nowadays say FET has exactly the same chances as the fresh transfer.
This is what the doctor said to us. She thinks a she is creating a false passage as she couldn't see the catheter but it was going in.
We just have to wait for another appointment letter.
I know it's not the end and am so grateful that we still have embryos frozen ready to use. I guess it's just the disappointment and upset as it's the first wall we have hit with ivf. This is our first round and everything was going so well.
So sorry to hear this it's so hard. There are studies to suggest that frozen transfers are more successful and a lot of clinics have stopped doing fresh transfers so you body has time to go back to normal after all the injections and egg collection swelling in that area. I know that may not help but it's one positive thing to try to focus on, plus you have lots of embryos which is fantastic xxx
Sorry to hear that, it's not easy when you set you mind and heart in something and ... the disappointment is hard esp in such situations.
The day before my transfer I had a severe pain and nausea and we were sure it was overstimulated ovaries symptoms. At home, my husband and I spoke and decided to postpone the transfer and wait when my body and my womb are ready we went to the hospital to get checked before starting the transfer eventually the doctor decided to have the transfer and to not postpone and I'm 14 wks pregnant and still got pain and my ovaries are not going back to normal yet.
Trust me , if your body is not ready is not ready so listen to your body and when things are sorted out your body and your womb will be ready then.
You should thank the doctor for being honest with you, she could just put it inside randomly and you could lose your precious embryo.
Be strong this journey is full of surprises and hopefully you get a wonderful surprise at the end.
Make sure you ask them to do a mock transfer before they try again. Also see if they’ll do transfer under sedation- it’s easier for them to get through your cervix as you’re so relaxed.
I had to have cervical dilation before I could have a successful transfer but it did work in the end (sedated for transfer even after the dilation as I had become quite traumatised about the whole thing) and I now have a daughter. Chin up, it’s a bump in the road not the end of the road xx
Oh darling I’m so sorry to hear this, I would be exactly the same!! This journey is so hard and you never know what’s going to be thrown your way. Rather than waiting a few months like they say I would really push for next month! Even if they have to ‘put you under’ so they can give it a really good push! I’m sorry 😔 xx
Hi JLB. Just read this. So sorry to hear of your upset. On a practical note, ask if they can do a dummy run before the actual transfer, in view of what happened with tube check too. They will be perfectly prepared then, next time. Hope you don’t have to wait too long. Di
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. We have our transfer tomorrow and I can’t even begin to imagine how I will feel if that happens to us. I don’t think there is anything anyone can say that will make you feel better but know that we’re all in this together and we’re thinking of you. Sending massive hugs xxxxx
I am sorry jlb2. This is heartbreaking. In this whole process what I have found devastating is the constant delaying and obstacles. I truly feel for you. Last time when I went to the consultant and told that things will be pushed just a few weeks to redo the tests I almost had a complete mental breakdown. I hope you manage to overcome this. I hope time goes fast for your.
No it's not stupid at all. It's bloody disappointing when you have set your heart on something and it results in nothing.
Some medical professionals are the kings and queens in asking stupid questions as when I had a blood clot in 2017 I was frightened and was asked Why Was I frightened when it's obvious that when people are ill or injures they are frightened as they don't know what's wrong or what can be done about it.
I think doctors sometimes forget that the patient is an actual human being who has had a long and shitty journey even to get to embryo transfer. Of course you were going to be upset to get to that point and then it not go ahead. I hope they can go ahead with a frozen transfer soon and that you get your longed for little bean xx
I can empathise with the feelings of disappointment and frustration when hopes are dashed when things change last minute and not in your favour!! Delays really suck, as you say you’ve waited so long for this moment. All is not lost though, those precious embryos are safe and sound. I’ve heard that FETs can actually have better chances as your body has had time to return to normalcy post ivf stimms. Good luck with the last few weeks waiting. Push hard for those tests and get that transfer!! Xx
So sorry to hear dat but at least they were able to freeze dem an hour problem looks like it can be fixed. I can't tell u not to feel hurt but I sure can tell u that ur lil bundle of joy will soon be on board. Best of luck and sending lots of warm hugs.
This is an example of a stupid question and off the topic that was asked when my godson lifted up my sister in laws skirt when he was about 10 and got shouted at and asked why did you lift up her skirt which was a stupid question as it was obvious why he had lifted up her skirt same as it was obvious why you were upset when things didn't work out as planned getting asked why were you upset when it was obvious!
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Devestated and broken😫😫😫😪😓
Miscarriage after a positive test!! Heart broken!! 
Broken 💔
Broken
