Update on progress

[CharleyMills89]

So we’ve had our medical appointment and signed all our consent forms for our treatment to start... the next step is for a donor to be found so the treatment can start and hopefully our dreams of starting a family will become true!

It’s been a tough few months and I’m sure we are going to face some tough emotions over the coming weeks and months but it will be so worth it when we have our miracle baby.

Out of interest has anyone else had to go down the route of donor ivf treatment and if so what was your outcome and how did you find the process? Be interested to hear others stories.

Thanks ❤️

[Dunla]

We have had a donor match and are hoping to cycle in January. We’ve arrived at the decision to use donor eggs having had four unsuccessful cycles of IVF using my own eggs. I have very low AMH and despite using the highest dose of menopur/gonal f, the most eggs we ever collected was five.

We can afford one donor egg treatment, so this is our last shot. Like you, we have found this a difficult process. First it took some time to accept and grieve the loss of a child that you have a genetic link to. I found counselling really helped with this. I also found it very stressful trying to decide on the right clinic to have the treatment, I wanted to make the best use of our money and make a decision that gave us the best chance of having a baby.

I’m feeling anxious and impatient to get started and excited at the prospect of achieving a pregnancy after six years of heartbreak. Also feeling absolutely terrified given that this is our last chance.

Hope you don’t have too long to wait until your match is found xx

[CharleyMills89 in reply to Dunla]

Good luck to you also!

It’s been very hard and I’m sure it’s going to get harder.

The only choice we have is donor eggs as I don’t have any eggs myself to naturally conceive, we’ve not been given any other choices.

We’re keeping our fingers crossed that we can be successful first time, it’s been hard for me to accept I can’t naturally have that chance, but my family have said that the baby would carry my blood and nutrients so in that sense they will be apart of me, I hope you can feel that way also.

I hope not too, we’ve come so far already in 12 months... really hoping 2018 we can become parents.

Best of luck 💜 x

[Dunla in reply to CharleyMills89]

I’m sorry, I’m sure that was incredibly difficult news for you and your husband to receive. I have no doubt though that your little baby will absolutely be a part of you and you will love them with every part of your being. Have you read about epigenetics? It’s very interesting.

Also, have you joined the donor conception network? I found some of their resources really useful and borrowed some books from their library via the post. They also put me in touch with other ladies who have travelled the same road as ourselves who emailed me and discussed their own experiences with me. I’d highly recommend it to you if you haven’t joined already.

I truly hope 2018 sees you becoming parents and finding the happiness you so thoroughly deserve. Very best wishes 💜x

[CharleyMills89 in reply to Dunla]

No sorry I haven’t heard of epigenetics before, what is that?

Ahh thank you yes I’m looking to speak with other ladies about their stories and experiences...

I’m hoping that 2018 we will become parents to our miracle baby, it would complete us as individuals and as a married couple.

I’m also looking to raise awareness and fundraise for IVF and infertility, I’m very passionate about it now because of what I am going through, feel it should be spoken about and should bring people together.

Xx💕xx

[Dunla in reply to CharleyMills89]

Your plans to fundraise are really admirable . Wishing you lots of luck with that too.

It’s hard to explain but my understanding of epigenetics is that it is a relatively new field of study. When the embryo is in the womb, the environment your body creates has the ability to turn certain genes on or off. Likewise as the child grows up, their life experiences can silence or help express particular genes. Therefore, the idea is that whilst there may not be an actual genetic link between you and your child, you still have the ability to determine what they’re like. Pretty much like the old nature / nurture debate. My fertility counsellor likened it to traffic lights. Turning genes on and off!

[CharleyMills89 in reply to Dunla]

Ohh I see yes that does make sense.

Yes people have said it’s nurture not nature so I’ve taken hold of that as a positive side of it.

I just want to do something good and positive and to help other couples who have gone through similar, just so people know they aren’t alone 💕❤️ Xx

[081010cohen]

Hi I'm a donor I just wanted to give u some reassurance and support!! I donated 2 years ago we both had a baby girl out of only four eggs each I'm back for round two this time we both have 8 eggs each!! This decision was so easy for me to do as I see it I give the egg they have to fertilize it and carry it for 9 months they feel the heartbeat inside them they love and protect that baby inside and grow it them self I 100% see it as being there baby!! I can't imagine it from ur point of view I kind of didn't think of if like that I 've always just thought of it my way!! They will get the best match so I'm sure after feeling that little person inside u and it only surviving coz u carried it ect all ur worries will disappear I wish u all the luck in the world!!!!!! Xxxx

[CharleyMills89 in reply to 081010cohen]

Thank you so much!

You’re amazing to donate your eggs... gives others a chance of happiness and to have that child they long for like myself.

Was it something you always wanted to do, or did you know someone who’ struggled with infertility and thought what can I do to help.

Yes exactly once the donor gives her eggs over and if they fertilise that baby becomes the recipients child no matter what.

Like you say they feel the movements, heartbeat, they carry and give birth so you’re every bit a mother still.

Myself and my husband just need that help to fertilise and conceive, after that they rest is down to me like a natural pregnancy.

I really hope 2018 will be our amazing year! 💜💕

[Dunla in reply to 081010cohen]

It’s an amazing thing you have done to help create another family and help make someone else’s dreams come true. So nice to hear your point of view given that I am going to be a donor recipient in the New Year 😊

[081010cohen]

I read up on different cases and I totally love it I get to hear if they 've had a live birth!! I get to write them a letter I wish I cud receive one too but that's the way it is I'm gonna keep doing it till I'm 35 this is the last time for me but I can still give!! I have another 5 fertilized embryos that i really want to donate but my partner wont do that coz he's fertilized them but I did love too to the people who can't do any of that part!! But I can only do wat I can do and for now I'm so so happy with doing this and hearing all the success stories I don't know how I'll feel if it doesn't work for them though I think I'll be so devastated so that bit does scare me!!! I just wish I cud contact the people and they didn't have to pay I know it's so so expensive but I feel people sud just keep getting ago till it works or they don't want to carry on and the money should be an issue!! Fertility problems r so common it breaks my heart!! I can't wait to follow ur progress hunni xxx

[mierran]

Thank you so much to those who have donated. It is thanks to wonderful women like you that I have 3 wonderful children.

As has been said , they are my children. I carried them, changed nappies, cuddle them when upset. I am their Mum. In many ways they are more my kids than my ex's, despite the fact that they are genetically his.

I am open with my kids about their origins. My oldest are 7 year old twins. They aren't especially interested in their donor at the moment but that may change as they get older. My youngest is from a different donor but still my twins sister.

Good luck for your treatment when it comes. While I sometimes grieve the fact that my kids don't have my eyes etc I still wouldn't swap them for anything. X

[TTCs]

Exciting times, best of luck xxx