It never rains but it pours 😩

[Kyell2]

My clinic just called to say that our sperm donor has changed his mind and no longer wants to be a donor and so they need to destroy his sperm 😔.

It took us a year to decide to use a sperm donor, 3 months to decide on him and just as we are about to start treatment we are back to square one. The clinic were shocked and said this had never happened before but that she had no choice but to destroy it this afternoon. But on a plus note we can have a refund...how does that help me!

First no period (now 16 days late) and now no sperm....it feels like the universe is telling me not to do this 😢. Plus I’m at work and trying not to kill my colleagues who are making a fuss about stupid issues when I’m having an internal breakdown!! x

[Cinderella5]

Awww honey, Im really sorry! What a massive blow for you guys when everything was just getting so close. I know its not ideal but can the clinic let you have another look at suitable donors to choose another one? Feel for you both so much, the disappointment must be hard to take. Hugs.xxx

[Kyell2 in reply to Cinderella5]

Aw thank you.

I had a wee cry in the toilet and now I’m trying to pull it back together. It took my OH so long to choose this donor that I can’t really face the prospect of doing it again. Either way we now have a bit of time as we can’t possibly sort it before Christmas.

Why sign up to be a donor if you are not fully committed though, he just causing heartache today (and probably not just for us today)

Hope you are doing well, when’s the next Athens trip? x

[Cinderella5 in reply to Kyell2]

Aww Im glad you've been able to go for a wee cry, it does help to let it out! I know, cant understand why someone would donate and then take it back....bit of a weird one. Hopefully if you can relax and enjoy Christmas your heads will be clear to start again.

I was hoping to get off to Athens this weekend for transfer next week but lining issues are causing me a bloody headache....same old issues. Seem to get stuck at 6.2mm so I think I'll need to up the meds and rescan in a few days again before committing to travelling....just waiting on the update from them!xx

[Kyell2 in reply to Cinderella5]

How frustrating that your lining isn’t behaving again. Hopefully the increase in drugs will make it catch up fast. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you x

[HollyT7]

You can get through this and you will get to where you want to be. As challenging as all of this is for us, I do believe in what's meant to be will happen and that this 'nightmare' will give us a new part inside that not many have and it will allow us to love our children even more so than your average parent. My tip is a little cry in a warm shower and jump into some pj's fresh of the radiator! One thing Xxx big hugs to you xxxx

[Kyell2 in reply to HollyT7]

Thank you, I’m sure you are right. I need to work late because of a drama at work but my pyjamas will go on as soon as I get home 😊x

[Lou7744]

Aww... how disappointing! Nothing is ever straight forward in the world of IVF is it?! 💕 xx

[Kyell2 in reply to Lou7744]

Thank you...nothing is ever simple. They could literally write a book about everything that has gone wrong for us lol x

[Aleelilook]

Oh god I’m so sorry, committing to using a donor is hard enough I can’t imagine how confused you must feel right now 🙁 definitely try and escape work early and have a good cry with the OH before you think of putting a plan in place xxx

[Kyell2 in reply to Aleelilook]

Thank you. I think our plan might be to take some time out. I can completely abandon my no alcohol plan then and get my gin out of storage 😂 x

[Aleelilook in reply to Kyell2]

Now that sounds like a good idea! That’s exactly what I’m doing tonight!!! Xx

[Kyell2 in reply to Aleelilook]

When life throws limes at you get out the gin and tonic 😂 x

[Hidden]

Thats terrible, I so sorry to hear this, what a trauma to go through. Sending you hugs and really hoping that its all happening for a reason and your cycle with your new donor (when you find one) is a BFP x

[Kyell2 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Yeah I’m beginning to think it’s happened for a reason too. If my period wasn’t over weeks late then we would be a day away from the treatment and to be told At that stage would have been awful x .

[hannahkc]

Sorry to hear, Kyell 😣 The hoops we have to jump through already and this after such a long wait. Stay strong xx

[Kyell2 in reply to hannahkc]

Thank you x

[everhopeful83]

Really sorry to read this ☹️ hopefully you will be able to find another donor soon💗 hugs 💗 xx

[Kyell2 in reply to everhopeful83]

Thank you x

[Tugsgirl]

Try not to think of it that way. Perhaps this guy just wasn’t the right guy. I’m a big believer in things working out the way they do for a reason, even if we can’t see the reason to begin with. Keep the faith. I’m sure you’re going to find an even better donor xx

[Kyell2 in reply to Tugsgirl]

You are very right, I need to stay positive.

It all just feels like a bit of a soap opera, we have been close to things moving forward so many times and then the script changes in an instant and we’re back to the start.

My OH, like a typical solicitor, needs to blame someone so has been complaining to HFEA to try to convince them that the sperm belongs to us because we paid for it lol x

[Sweets1]

Oh my goodness I don’t know what to say! I’m so sorry, really to feel for you! Sending big hugs xx

[Kyell2 in reply to Sweets1]

Thank you, you are very kind. I kind of thought once it was at our clinic we would be fine but hey ho we’ll regroup x

[MrsAdzee]

I’m so sorry to hear this, what a let down for you, I can only imagine your disappointment xxx

[Kyell2 in reply to MrsAdzee]

Thank you x

[NMP1026]

Awe Hun I've just seen this. I'm so sorry it's been so difficult for you to get to this point. I can't even begin to imagine. Thinking of you both xx

[Kyell2 in reply to NMP1026]

Thank you. Feeling a bit more positive today but not looking forward to starting the dreaded search again. Hope you and the bump are doing well. Sooo close now 😊 xx

[Ajplus1]

Oh sweetie I am so sorry to read this. I can’t imagine how you are feeling. Hopefully you find another donor that you like. Thinking of you at the time xz

[Kyell2 in reply to Ajplus1]

Thank you. How is your OH doing, have they said when he might get to come home? x

[Ajplus1 in reply to Kyell2]

Still no word yet. It’s getting harder and harder to leave him there especially as his an hour away now and we still don’t know when he will be able to come home. Hope you’re okay xx

[Dunla]

That is so disappointing for you, I’m really sorry. Hoping that after some time out over Christmas you will be feeling ready to tackle selecting another donor. Thinking of you xx

[Masha111]

Im really sorry to hear what you are going through. So traumatising. My thoughts are with you. I agree with Daisy1245 and Tugsgirl. Im a firm believer that everything happens for a reason...the good and the bad. God knows what lies ahead and he has a better plan for us. So when something goes wrong its to prevent something worse from happening and he has even better times coming for you. I am the strong one out of us both. So when things were tough i was calming OH down when he was frustrated and running out of patience. Now i remind him to say look God's plan worked.... that patience paid off... (we are 11 wks 4 days now)

Its a difficult time for you guys.... but dont give up hope, belief or blind faith in the Almighty....miracles do happen.... this site is living proof.

Take time out enjoy the festive break together and start afresh in the new year when you are both ready. Important thing is to be close to each other at this time and communicate with each other.

All the best. 2019 will be the year for you (god willing) big hugs xxx💖 you will get your BFP🤰🏻and you will be a mum🤱🏻 xxx