Waiting

[Positive2022]

Just wondered if anyone else finds waiting for appointments difficult? What do you do to take your mind off things? I'm keeping as busy as I can but can't seem to switch off from thinking about things. Followup won't be until at least the new year now, don't know how we're going to get through Christmas. Any useful tips much appreciated xxx

[E_05]

This is the bit of the journey I find the hardest, I’m not sure I can offer the best advice of how to keep your mind off things but I would say even having small things planned can help. Maybe just going out for dinner with your OH or meeting a friend for a drink. Sorry to say but I don’t think our minds ever switch off, even though I’m not ready to start treatment again I still can’t stop thinking about the fact I’m going to have to put myself through all this again.

Regarding Christmas I would say definitely try and enjoy it however you feel possible, I was so against Christmas last year and it was just a flop I felt so sorry for my family. I’ve decided this year I’m going to make the most of it and although I won’t be holding my baby in my arms, I have an amazing husband, dogs, family and friends that I’m very grateful to be celebrating with xx

[Positive2022 in reply to E_05]

Thanks so much for responding, i'm pleased to hear that it's common not to be able to switch off and it's not just me. It feels like it's been such a stressful year, it's taking it's toll on me a bit now. After bloods not being done right and having those repeated, to swab results being lost and repeated to referral going missing and needing to be resent and then further investigations being delayed and now another 6-8 weeks at least of not knowing what's going on. I think what i'm struggling with is being told my HSG is abnormal but then not really fully undetstanding what this means and how this is going to affect our treatment. Today I struggled to keep focussed. I guess this is normal, right?!? You're so right about having things planned, I have made sure we have a few dates in the diary and I'm looking forward to Christmas as best as I can. I do hope you are doing okay?? Xxx

[E_05 in reply to Positive2022]

I’m not surprised it’s taken it’s toll you’ve been through an awful lot, I can’t comment much on HSG results as mine was done under anaesthetic whilst having a laparoscopy, could you not speak to the clinic and ask for some clarification to put your mind at rest?

Totally normal to struggle to keep focused, no matter how much we try IVF soon takes over our lives and some days it’s hard to pretend like everything’s okay. I really hope your able to enjoy Christmas, have you got an appt date for January?

I’m getting there slowly, struggling today with some family friends who have announced their pregnancy, he’s taken steroids and hit her yet we do everything ‘right’ and our baby dies just feels so unfair. I don’t mean I’d want them to go through what we have, no one should have to experience this heartache just feel angry for me xx

[Positive2022 in reply to E_05]

I contacted our clinic and unfortunately they could not five me any idea on how long it will before we get a date, just said will be sometime in the new year. I mentioned I was concerned about the results but they could not comment. I have booked a GP appointment just to talk things through and maybe put my mind at ease until I can see our Consultant. I hope I'm not wasting their time but my mood has been very low about things recently which is unlike me. Finding it harder and harder to appear 'normal', especially at work and when I see others. Soneone actually said to me today over lunch that I must be able to 'afford' to be a gym member simply because I don't have children. That is not the case at all. Hubby and I have joined as it's something positive we can do together to district us and keep us healthy. It's a private topic that it's not something discussed openly and therefore I feel under pressure to act as though nothing is going on which is difficult.

I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, such a difficult time for you and I really hope things get a little easier for you with time. Looking forward to Christmas is a positive step. I really can appreciate how it feels seeing others who fall pregnant easily or under difficult circumstances or who perhaps lead an unhealthy lifestyle so to speak and have no obvious problems. Wouldn't wish this on anyone but it's totally normal to feel sad and angry. I know someone who smokes and drinks heavily and they already have 2 children and want another. I feel so frustrated with my body, I'm sure that's not helping things but it feels uncontrollable at the moment xxx

[E_05 in reply to Positive2022]

I think it’s a good thing you’ve got a GP appt, my clinic send copies of all my tests and results to my GP so they may be able to give you some answers. I can understand that it’s hard to pretend like everything’s okay, have you got family and friends that you can open up to though?

I’m sure people are just thick why would they make that comment, your quite entitled to have a gym membership. I did exactly the same nearly 2 years ago when I was waiting to start it helped me having someone to put my energy.

Thank you, it definitely doesn’t seem to be getting easier but I suppose I’m just thinking now if they want to fall themselves like everything is okay with a massive Facebook announcement then more fall them. I’ve started unfollowing people now so I don’t have to see pregnancy posts, it’s hard to do but you have to put yourself first xx

[Positive2022 in reply to E_05]

Thank lovely for your reassurance. I hate the thought of wasting my GP's time but thought it may be good to talk things through. I am very lucky as I have a very supportive family and hubby has been so amazing. I hate worrying people though. You are so right, you do need to put yourself first. It's so important to look after number one. You're incredibly strong and have been so supportive, thank you so much. I hope 2018 is a better year for us. Sending love and BIG hugs xxx

[E_05 in reply to Positive2022]

Your not wasting them time at all, glad you’ve got lots of support. I’m the same about worrying people or if they say ring me when you need me - I’m never gona happen 🙈 lol

Thank you, so do I. Hoping 2018 brings lots of little miracles xx

[Positive2022 in reply to E_05]

Thanks lovely, same to you. It's so great to chat things through. Keep in touch. Wishing you a lovely Christmas xxx

[Hidden]

it bloody sucks doesnt it waiting for appointments. What I do is keep busy to take my mind off them.

[Positive2022 in reply to Hidden]

It really sucks doesn't it!?! Keeping as busy as possible. Thankfully December is a busy month so hopefully that should make the month go by quicker. Hope you're doing ok xxx

[Ruby26]

I had the same wait and actually when I called the clinic to reschedule my appointment as I couldn’t make it they moved it forward 3 months. No guarantees but if you call up, you never know if there is a cancellation and you can be seen sooner! Worth an ask I think! X

[Jo_Se in reply to Ruby26]

I did this too. Went from 5 months to 2 weeks wait! Again no guarantee but worth finding out if there are any cancellations. If not try to keep busy and avoid being at home alone I think x

[Positive2022 in reply to Ruby26]

Thanks lovelies I will definitely be asking xxx

[Lynnr54]

The waiting is the worst isn’t it. At least when you’re on a cycle you feel like you’re doing something towards it. I try and find lots of smaller things to look forward to which breaks the wait up a bit. A week until this happens then a few days until that happens. It’s still waiting but each wait is more manageable and theres something good at the end of it and when each wait is over I’m that bit closer to the thing I’m really waiting for. I do agree that it’s worthwhile phoning your clinic to check for cancellations. Hope the wait doesn’t drive you too crazy!

[Positive2022 in reply to Lynnr54]

Thanks lovely such great advice. I will definitely be keeping myself as busy as I can. Thankfully being Christmas we have a few dates in the diary so it's quite a busy month for us anyway which should hopefully make the time go by quicker. I will definitely be asking about a cancellation - great idea !! Xxx