review appointment

[vic77]

so we had our review today. our consultant was fab. I started to cry....again and she just said looks to me like you need a hug and she came right round and gave me a huge hug. we both trust her entirely and she seemed as gutted as us. she reckons the transfer was the issue. we had a difficult transfer this time. previous 3 were no bother at all. she reckons that perhaps as it was difficult given the positioning of the cervix/womb on the day and trying to pass catheter through was difficult that it was likely that my cervix kind of spasmed and then likely body rejected embryo as was in a bit of shock.makes sense I guess and just one of those things. we have 2 frosties left so she recommending transferring both in Jan on another natural cycle and another scratch plus a test to determine which catheter to use to make transfer less stressful if difficulties happen again. I feel kind of like we got some answers. she also felt given our response to treatment age would not recommend egg donor just yet although the thought of another fresh cycle if required fills me with dread. we are struggling to understand if transferring both frosties at once is wise. less emotional impact I guess as only going through it once but I have heard double transfers can reduce success rates too. all in all Xmas is giving us a natural break to grieve and heal and back at it in Jan for hopefully 5th time lucky. your support as always through this tough time has been amazing and so helpful. thanks all and I am slowly finding my hope again and rooting for my wee frosties. keep dreaming and hoping 🌈🌈🌈xxxx

[katya38]

Thinking of you xx

[vic77 in reply to katya38]

thanks hun..tough day bit over now xx

[Tugsgirl]

We were given that option the other day too but I absolutely don’t want to transfer them both together. I couldn’t live with my choice if it was a bfn. The way we’re looking at it is that we potentially still have two chances. It’s hard isn’t it? Xx

[vic77 in reply to Tugsgirl]

yeah it's not easy..we figure given my age if unsuccessful then we need to get on with a fresh cycle and as both embies similar quality she said normally ok..can be an issue if one embryo better than the other..we going to do a big pros and cons list and decide in Jan xx

[Fredaflintstone in reply to vic77]

Just seen you’ve heard the same re embryo quality. Xx

[Nyko1]

Sorry that you had another failed cycle. I had a difficult transfer this time too, previous two were fine it Was stressing me out . She asked me if I’d had surgery and I said just the scratch so don’t know if that caused an issue. When I had the scratch it was not straight forward either and it was my first time with scratch . I’m still waiting on OTD which is 20th but I’m not holding out much hope. I don’t know why but I felt worried when I had the nurse to do my transfer when the other patients had the consultant which I had previous two times. I felt I wasn’t in the best hands and it worries me, you want the experts when your paying all that money and she nearly had to call the consultant for help she was struggling so much , 😕 enjoy your time off and good luck with your next cycle. This is the end of the road for me if it doesn’t work xx

[vic77]

Oh hun so sorry transfer and scratch were so difficult. .I said to my dh on transfer day this is the easy bit..famous last words. .holding onto hope for your bfp on 20th💜💜💜xxxx

[Nyko1 in reply to vic77]

I know I was shocked as usually in and out in 5 minutes with previous transfers but I bet I was 20-30 this time easy , it was awful. Keeping everything crossed 🤞 xx

[vic77 in reply to Nyko1]

it's so hard to stay calm isn't it..my transfer was longer than that..dreading next one now..hang in there and stay crossed xxxx

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

I'm glad you have a lovely consultant too (you all seem to have lovely consultants) makes such a difference in this tough journey you face. Least you have a plan of action for the new year always feels better when theres a plan in place. Give yourselves time to grieve and time to reflect on this tough year and I pray and hope that 2018 is a better year for you and all of us. Lots of love 💗🤗😘

[vic77 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

thanks so much xx

[Penders]

I'm glad your appointment went well your consultant sounds lovely! Enjoy the break over Christmas and I wish you luck for your next round in January. Xxx

[vic77 in reply to Penders]

thanks. .she really is fab xx

[Edinburghdreaming]

So glad you got some answers. Your consultant sounds lovely! Hope you are starting to feel a bit better. Thinking if you xx

[vic77 in reply to Edinburghdreaming]

getting there slowly..seems much together this time xx

[Hidden]

So glad to hear you've got some answers, it always helps. Your consultant sounds wonderful!! Hugs xxx

[vic77 in reply to Hidden]

thanks she is fab xx

[Fredaflintstone]

Hi Vic, so glad your follow up went well and that your consultant is a caring one (I’m sure they all care just some of them are hopeless at expressing it). We had a difficult transfer the first time and a bfn. This time the transfer was so easy and we got our bfp. Don’t know if that was the difference. We had a dummy run where they couldn’t get even the smallest catheter through and so I had dilation done which made such a difference.

I’ve read that if the embryos are v different in quality that the poor one can cause the body to reject the better one too so perhaps something to consider. If they are similar quality that shouldn’t be an issue.

I’m glad you can have a bit of a rest now and time to heal ready for trying again in January. Really hope that this time will be the one ☝️ xxxxx

[vic77 in reply to Fredaflintstone]

i do believe the transfer was the issue.she mentioned dilation too. .bloody hell I will do anything now even another scratch 😯yeah I heard that about the double transfer too but she said they are similar quality. we have time to think and will do a pros and cons list. .first a break. .thanks for ur message xx

[Kyell2]

I’m so glad that you have a supportive consultant, it really makes all the difference.

Hopefully a rest both physically and emotionally over Christmas will be just what you need and 2018 will be the year for you xx

[vic77 in reply to Kyell2]

thanks I hope so as 2017 sucked 😂xx

[Kyell2 in reply to vic77]

I know 2017 can definitely go down as my worst one yet!! This Hogmanay I’m definitely toasting to a more positive year that doesn’t consistently try to ruin all of our hopes and dreams 😂 xx

[Cinderella5]

Thanks for posting this @vic77. I remember reading that someone else was told this so Ive added it to my questions. Hugs!xx

[vic77 in reply to Cinderella5]

glad to help😁😁😁xxxx

[Amanda86]

Sounds like you've got a lovely consultant Vic which is something I think we definitely need when going through this journey.

Hope round 5 will be your lucky round! 🍀🙏

It's such a tough journey, I hope you'll enjoy your Christmas and New Year as much as possible and come back refreshed and ready to go.

Thinking of you 😘 Xxx

[vic77 in reply to Amanda86]

thanks hun..lucky number 5😁😁xx

[Loopielu]

Just sending a hug xx

[vic77 in reply to Loopielu]

received with love and a hug back xxx

[Leesara]

Vic sorry to hear this but great that your consultant is so supportive ! Take time and enjoy a Christmas break xx

[vic77 in reply to Leesara]

thanks xxx

[7AVA]

It’s great that they have been able to give you some kind of reason why it may not have worked. Hoping for a smooth transfer for you in January. In the meantime, you can go and relax in Copenhagen knowing that there is a plan in place xxx

[vic77 in reply to 7AVA]

I know it kind of helps somewhat ..yes fingers crossed for Jan but first some hugge in Copenhagen and lots of 🍷🍷🍷🍸🍸🍸hope u OK xxx

[Daxi16]

Hi best of luck! Just a bit of past experience my sister has had IVF twice and had 2 eggs put back both times and ended up with one baby both times. She fully believes in having 2 put back but it's different and big decision for everyone. Could also result in twinnies xx

[vic77 in reply to Daxi16]

thanks. why does she think 2 works better when she still only got one baby?I am struggling to think this decision through xxx

[Daxi16 in reply to vic77]

Well as feels that if she only had one put back she may have ended with none? 2 gives you twice the chance I get if one doesn't work x

[baby2016]

Aw Vic! Sounds like your appointment went well. My second transfer was the same and my uterus started going into spasm whilst they were doing the transfer! It was horrible!! Apparently if they touch the top of the cervix as it has so many nerve endings the spasms will start, mine took 2 days to settle down. I was gutted. That was a chemical that round and I know the transfer won't have helped. Since then I insisted on ultrasound guidance and both transfers since were amazing in comparison.

Re the double transfer, I'm in the opposite camp, I know of 5 people that all chose 2 back after several failures and all got their bfp and babies with only 1 having twins, all are convinced it worked because 2 were put back. To me it's more the health risks that worry me. This next round with it all being new ball game we'll put one back but it that doesn't work then following round will def be 2. It's such a hard decision to make, but hope which ever way you choose it's the one you feel best with xx

[vic77 in reply to baby2016]

I am now convinced it was the transfer and at least for the first time I maybe have an answer for this bfn.so are you provide 2 embie transfers then? why do your friends think transferring two worked if they only got one baby? I am wondering if that leaves the option of a sibling if we are lucky..oh I said we would have a break till jan and all I can think about is should we transfer 1 or 2 😯.hope you are well and thanks for message xx

[baby2016]

The people I know transferred two not with the hope of getting twins but to increase their odds of one sticking. All were above 36 apart from one who was 28 and she ended up with the twins. There are so many more health complications with two and that's the main worry, but my opinion is it must increase the odds as a lot of clinics outside of the uk transfer upto 3 😳 harder decision to make if it's your last 2, my mate did it on her last two, after having chemicals with 3 very high Blasts, transferring one each time. The remaining two were both were lower grade but still good blasts and she now has a 3month old! She thinks both stuck originally as she was getting positive from 4dpt!!! But then they began to lighten and she thought it was game over for them to start getting darker by 9dpt! Xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Maybe ask for a sedated transfer if possible- I’ve done this every time x