Hello IVF forum.
I've been reading forums but never posted. I'd appreciate it if someone has the time to hear my story. I've been through the mill, and it helpes to share, and I'm hoping we can support each other on this arduous journey.
I'm trying to de-stress, as my new job in mental health is really emotionally challenging at the moment, and I've been trying to cope with the ivf rollercoaster and side effects from the drugs, whilst keeping my head, as my work requires that I offer support to others who are sometimes in crisis.
My 1st cycle egg transfer procedure was abandoned after they found my cervix was pinhole and no catheter could get up there without extreme pain.
I had had problems last year with the fallopian tube check and catheter causing extreme pain, but despite telling the ivf clinic of the pain and being offered a practive ET, the practice run did not happen and I so panicked phoning them saying I feared ET would not work.
On ET day, the doctor looked at my cervix, tried to insert the catheter and I yelped in pain. She said it was pinhole, scarred and almost sealed shut. They froze the 4 blasto cysts. I was referred for dilation surgery.
Two years ago I had a Lletz treatment for CIN pre cancer cervical cells, and a rare complication is that the cervix can seal shut/ small. Despite a post op check saying it was ok, mine seems to have later sealed.
After being hurried through the NHS system I waited a couple of months for dilation surgery under GA to open the cervix, (surgeons tried 3 times to insert dilation rod) and have now had a practice ET which went fine thankfully.
I'm NHS funded and have x 2 IVF cycles and x 2 FET cycles, but they've counted my first IVF live cycle as gone, though the transfer was abandoned.
I'm having FET on Wednesday. The side effects of hormones I find difficult as I'm sensitive to them; low mood, dizzy, nausea, and I'm struggling to cope with work now as had been keeping it all together for too long.
I broke down last week at work and went home yesterday, with them offering to see if there is counselling through their scheme. They have been supportive.
I am going to request annual leave to rest after the transfer, as I don't want the stressful crisis events at work (which have been really hard on the whole team this last 2 weeks), to interfere with implantation.
I'm 39, with 4 years of trying naturally- unexplained fertility.
The doctor who saw the state of my cervix said it was unlikely that sperm could get through the OS. The other two consultants said it would have been possible as my periods were coming out.
No-one knows, but I think the doctor who saw my cervix was right. I believe the stenosis cervix primarily was the cause of our inability to conceive, alongise my low fertility (AMH blood levels). I was so anry. I am not now, just looking forwards and trying to stay positive, but after 4 years, I am not expecting anything.
My periods for the last 2 years were extremely painful, light for a day, then heavy. I thought it was aging. It was my stenosis cervix- it was like a dam. My periods since the dilation surgery have returned to normal.
I'm hoping that FET works on Wednesday. We couldn't decide whether to implant one or two. We have x two 5 day high quality blastos and x two day 5 not so good ones frozen. The heart said x 2 implanted, the head said 1. We chose one. Now I wonder if two is OK. We know the risks of twins. I'm going round in circles trying to decide again at the moment.
My husband is a gentle soul and we have supported each other well throughout. I'm thinking of booking a 5 day caravan holiday for a few days after the transfer, to recharge and relax.