Help please...: I've had 1 failed fresh... - Fertility Network UK

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Help please...

Coco24 profile image
26 Replies

I've had 1 failed fresh cycle and I'm about to start my first frozen cycle. As much as the frozen cycle feels a lot less intense than the fresh cycle, I'm still feeling very overwhelmed at the prospect of starting again. I also still feel like I'm coming to terms with having a failed cycle.

Does anyone have any tips or tools to help me feel better and more positive about starting again?

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Coco24 profile image
Coco24
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26 Replies
7AVA profile image
7AVA

I’m afraid I don’t have any tips but I can empathise and reassure you that you can get through this. I felt completely overwhelmed just before I started my frozen cycle. In fact I had a complete meltdown the day before we had our FET appointment to start the meds. Messy tears, the lot and I was very worried about the effect buserelin would have on me. But I was fine, we had a complete medicated cycle and I’m out the other side and in the two week wait. Yes, I’ve had my moments (as my boyfriend would testify) but on the whole I’ve felt well and it has been easier than stimming on fresh cycle. In terms of mindset, I’ve found it hard to be positive and believe but I’ve accepted that and now try to hope for the best, prepare for the worst. We have a private follow up appointment booked for end of October just in case. You can do this. Wishing you all the very best of luck. Xxx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24

Hi 7AVA, thank you so much for your message! Its helpful to hear that someone is going through the exact same thing as you! I've just started on the meds again and I'm already getting hot flushes- which I think has made me feel worse. If I knew this process was going to get us exactly where we wanted it to, it would make it so much easier to do!! Wishing you lots of luck with your results! X

Hayley5385 profile image
Hayley5385 in reply to Coco24

I was in a similar situation, had a failed fresh cycle in July/August and had to wait over a month for my follow up. That turned out to be a good thing and I quite unexpectedly started my FET cycle there and then! Was a bit of a whirlwind but gave me something to concentrate on. I’m very luck and got a BFP with my FET. Try not to feel to negative and just carry on planning your life as if it wasn’t going on, takes a lot of pressure off.

Anyway good luck for the FET 🍀🌈 xx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to Hayley5385

Thank you so much- hearing your story really does give me hope. My situation has felt like a whirlwind and so is difficult to process everything that's going on. That's also really good advice- I felt like my life was on hold last time round but definitely going to keep my focus on the rest of my life this time around. Good luck with your pregnancy 💖 💐 xx

Hayley5385 profile image
Hayley5385 in reply to Coco24

Thank you 😊 I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you 🤞🍀🌈 xxx

7AVA profile image
7AVA in reply to Coco24

Yes, I agree and said the same thing myself - there are few things in life that we put up with so much for such uncertain rewards!! Good luck Coco24 xxx

NMP1026 profile image
NMP1026

Hey hun

I hope you are feeling a bit stronger today. I've absolutely no advice but I couldn't skip past your post. It could have been written by me! I got a BFN in Aug and my AF arrived on Saturday for me to start my FET.

I've been doing acupuncture, reflexology and mindfulness to try and help but I'm still terrified.

Wishing you so much luck xx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to NMP1026

Thank you so much for your message. I am feeling a bit better today- the feelings comes and go in waves! I'm sure by the time I get there I'll be ready. But despite there being so much less to do this time round, it still feels very overwhelming.

It sounds like you're doing everything you possibly can. Our timings are very similar I just started taking my medication for start my FET this weekend!

Good luck with it- I hope this will be the last one for both of us. 🌈💐

NMP1026 profile image
NMP1026 in reply to Coco24

Hey

Thanks hun. I am glad you are feeling a bit better. Im swaying between being terrified and a brief air of excitement. I have got my first appointment for this cycle on Thursday when I will see the sonographer and the nurse. They want to try and do a natural FET with the addition of clexane and I will have progesterone injections. Let's hope it's 2nd time lucky for us. Lots and lots of luck xx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to NMP1026

I think those are the exact same emotions that I have. I think it helps feeling like you're doing something- but it's really scary not knowing what the outcome will be. That's good they're trying something different this time! Absolutely- will be keeping my fingers crossed for you🤞 xxx

NMP1026 profile image
NMP1026 in reply to Coco24

I totally agree! Keep me posted and if you ever want - need a chat I'm just here xx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to NMP1026

Thank you! I will do. And same with you- if you ever want to chat. It really does help speaking to people that are going through the exact same thing as you. Xxx

NMP1026 profile image
NMP1026 in reply to Coco24

Hey hun

I hope you are OK today. Thank you! This forum is amazing xx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to NMP1026

Thank you for checking in! I know- I feel exactly the same. I am telling a lot less people this time around, so it feels really good to share here. I actually had an endometrial scratch yesterday- which was a lot more painful than I expected!! Have you had one done? I'm also not doing my transfer till next cycle so it feels a bit early to be doing it! How are you feeling today? Xxx

NMP1026 profile image
NMP1026 in reply to Coco24

Hey

How are you? I had my scratch a couple of weeks ago I was quite lucky as it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I got told it should be around day 21 of the previous cycle. I've got my 1st scan with the sonographer tomorrow and then they will go through my treatment plan. I'm so scared! I'm the same as you and not told many people this time so really appreciate the chance to chat xx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to NMP1026

Oh that's interesting. Was this your first time of having the scratch? It probably sounds silly, but I feel like it's too soon to be doing it now- i keep thinking it will have healed by the time I get to my transfer date! Good luck today!! It might be different for you but I always feel a bit calmer when I have a plan. Xx

Kittygoo profile image
Kittygoo

I am going through a similar situation to you so I know exactly how you feel. We just had our first icsi cycle the transfer couldn't go ahead as I had ohss and they had to do a freeze all of our 3 embryos. I then started my fet cycle last week and I am finding it harder to cope with than the icsi for some reason. I am using the ivf mindfulness app which has a section for fet prep which is very helpful. Big hugs to you and hoping for a good outcome for both of us xxx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to Kittygoo

Oh no- that must have been devastating for you. I wonder if you are struggling more now because you are going to the clinic less, so you feel less supported. That's great though that you managed to get 3 embryos. Which mindfulness app do you use? I feel so anxious all the time I really struggle to sit through meditation and mindfulness sessions on my own. Sending big hugs back to you. Xxx

Kittygoo profile image
Kittygoo in reply to Coco24

I think that has something to do with it alright trying to remain positive all the time is exhausting in itself isn't it!! The app I use is called Mindful ivf on the app store. I would be the same as you re meditation but I have found it very helpful. Hoping it will be helpful to you too xxx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to Kittygoo

Have found it! Thank you - anything that might help is definitely worth a try. Xxx

Kittygoo profile image
Kittygoo in reply to Coco24

Brilliant hope it helps xxx

A-Jay- profile image
A-Jay-

Love i had my failed fresh cycle of icsi in august. I am feeling the same as you are. I am feeling as if Frozen cycle is not very effective. I had my tranfer on Tuesday trying to keep myself positive.. hoping and praying i ll get bfp on friday ☺ good luck to you.. 😘

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to A-Jay-

I'm so sorry to hear that. If it helps you- I have heard frozen cycles are just as effective- if not more, because your body has not been put through all the stimms. Thank you for your kind words. Sending lots of luck back to you and I hope this week goes quick for you. Xxx

I was exactly the same, failed cycle in May and then was feeling ok starting meds’ a FET in September until it came to me going in for my lining scan the minute I was in the room I freaked out and it was all too much for me! Bought back the whole previous cycle and I struggled for a while with the process, I got on with it as much as I could and 2 days after my FET I completely broke down, I’m now 7 days into the 2ww and struggling by each day, so far not a twinge or a symptom which is unnerving me so much! I’m using mindfulness the headspace app has been a godsend and I’m using yesmum cards the fertility version to keep myself positive, maybe one of these may help? Wishing you lots of luck in your FET xxx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24 in reply to

I’m not surprised that you’re struggling! I think the 2ww is the most difficult part of the whole process. I haven’t heard of the cards before. Do they help you? I have tried mindfulness – but I feel like sitting still/ quietly only makes me feel more anxious. Wishing lots of luck back to you. I had lots of cramps my first time round, so maybe no side effects is a good thing! xxx

in reply to Coco24

I’m trying to keep busy but not to busy it’s a difficult balance! Yes the cards definitely help there’s 30 different ones in a pack I turn a different one every day it’s quite nice to read the positive cards! I’m hoping no symptoms is a good thing but it’s still unnerving!

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