I'm looking for help/advice/support from anyone in the middle of/already been through IVF.
We've had one fresh/one frozen cycle this year. The fresh cycle failed outright and the frozen produced a BFP which ended in a very early miscarriage. If I'm lucky I'll be starting another frozen cycle very soon.
Is there any one in my area that is in a similar situation to me or has been recently?
I'm finding the whole process quite isolating and am very lonely.
It would be nice to speak to someone who understands.
Hi Cate, I'm from Greater Manchester too I've been through 2 x ICSI cycles both with BFN and will be starting a frozen cycle in the next few weeks
You're definitely not on your own! Which clinic are you using? We've done a cycle with Care and we're using Liverpool women's hospital at the moment both along with Leigh/Wrightington x
It's nice to hear from someone who has also had BFNs. Everyone I see/read about seems to have had success first time. The 'why not me' factor is very hard to come to terms with.
I'm at St Mary's in Manchester. Do you live Warrington way? I'm assuming if you've been at different hospitals you're not NHS funded?
We've got our review next week (where I'll be told it was just one of those things no doubt) and am hoping they'll give me the green light to start again next month.
I know what you mean, ive never had a BFP in all the time weve tried so ive constantly thought why not me !
Im in Bolton, not NHS funded anymore no we got 1 cycle - now we're using a combination of nhs and private hospitals, it seemed slightly cheaper and easier
Yes be prepared for them to say that, we're unexplained and its so frustrating to hear 'it should have worked' etc
Sounds awful but if I hear one more time "We just got lucky" I'll scream!! How impossibly unlucky does that make women like us?!!
I've never heard of combination NHS/private. How does that work? It must be added stress traveling all that way to hospital during treatment?
We've got 3 left. I'm going to push for 2 next time to try and boost our chances. Not sure how that'll go down as I know they're very against multiple births. xx
We pay the nhs hospital and get our meds from there and have scans etc then the egg collection and transfer is done at Liverpool. It meant we didn't have to have tests done again and we've got extras for nothing - scratch, fragmin, intralipid drip.
It wasn't too bad to Leigh but the hospitals now moved to Wrightington which is harder to get to!
They are pretty against it but it depends on your age, it's good that you have 3! Xxx
Hi Cate! I am in Manchester too and just starting my first cycle at St. Marys, started stims a week ago and going tomorrow for my first scan. I am very nervous!
Only my parents and partner know about it and I am also finding it quite hard not being able to talk about it with someone that understands. When are you starting your second frozen cycle?
I too am at St Mary's. The nurses are amazing. You're in good hands!
Are you on long or short protocol?
The first (fresh) cycle is always to hardest/longest/most stressful as you don't know what to expect. If you've started stimming already then that's one of the hardest parts over. I had a panic over mixing the drugs!!
I Liked the scans: it was nice to check in and see what was changing.
With the fresh cycle you'll be spending lots of time sitting around so keep yourself occupied in that waiting room!
I know exactly what you mean with the loneliness. I only told one friend and my boss (out of duty!) so felt exactly the same. My family don't know anything as I know I'd just be bombarded with questions which I didn't need. Its very difficult not having many people to talk to. I'm here if you have any questions or want to talk. 😀
Let me know how your scan goes. As scary as it all is it's also very exciting!
Thanks Cate for your lovely message. I am having long protocol but my down regulation was just one prostap injection as I have endometriosis. Started with stims a week ago and having my first scan tomorrow, hope it is all ok. Bit nervous will not have any follicles as I have low amh. I will let you know how it goes. Hope your next cycle goes well, keep me updated xxx
I am in the same process as you, i have stage 4 endo and im waiting to be put on prostap as i have been advised to have this before ivf, how are you finding the stims, habe u had your scan to test for follicles yet?
Im also at manchester
xxx
I had short protocol as I've got Polycystic ovaries. Did the down regging with my last frozen transfer though. It went much better than I anticipated.
The consultant wouldn't have let you start IVF if s/he weren't confident you have a chance. Don't stress too much about having low AMH. It's just a test done to provide a number which they use to make sure you're on the correct dosage of drugs to produce the maximum amount of eggs. You'll be on a higher dose.
Hi Cate, I'm in Manchester and hoping to start my FET cycle at St Mary's in September. I had ICSI in January which resulted in BFP but I had an early miscarriage. Had to have medical and surgical management. At the review was told I had to have a laparoscopy where they had to clip one of my tubes and found severe endometriosis. Was told I had to have a 3 month injection of prostap to reduce the endo before FET cycle in September. Was on the 3 month countdown when a smear discovered pre cancerous cells. Had a Lletz to remove them and now hoping they will let me start the FET cycle in September. So it's been a rubbish year so far!
I agree that this whole process can be very isolating and lonely. It's really hard to find people who understand. I've definitely found this forum helpful.
When do you find out when you can start your FET? x
Hi Jen,
It sounds as though you have had an awful year. I hope things are looking up for you now. You deserve some good luck.
I've battled with pre cancerous cells in the past, though luckily I didn't need any treatment as they went away on their own. The biopsies were truly terrible though. So painful!
I've got my review next week and I'm hoping I'll get the go ahead to ring to request treatment in September. They tell you that you have to wait 3 months before starting again to let your body heal but all you want to do is get back to it! The wanting around doing nothing is always the hardest part.
I'm looking forward to starting again as it will keep me occupied and I'll feel more positive, like I'm working towards something.
Im just not sure I'll be able to cope well with the final outcome.
It sounds like we've had similar journeys so far. That would be so nice if we were cycle buddies 😀
The whole pre cancerous cells thing was definitely a shock. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse and they did. Biopsies are definitely painful, hopefully I won't need to have any more.
I totally agree, all I've wanted to do is start again and the waiting is definitely the hardest part. I feel so out of control because it's other people telling me when I can and can't start. Last year I did acupuncture just so I felt like I was doing something.
I hope they tell you you can request in September. I know it's scary thinking about what the outcome might be, all we can do is try and stay positive (easier said than done!) I really hope your dreams come true x
It really is easier said than done at times. When everyone around you is announcing their pregnancies (having tried for one month).
It's very hard to cope sometimes.
I've been doing acupuncture for nearly a year now but I'm in two minds whether to continue for this next cycle. Not really sure if it's having any effect (other than on my bank balance!) I know there's some Literature saying it works but I've done it through 2 cycles now, with a BFN and a BFP with the early miscarriage).
I'm not convinced.
I'll update you next week after my appointment.
The next hurdle will be getting accepted for treatment.......! x
I'm finding pregnancy announcements really difficult too. I deleted my Facebook account over a year ago which is the best thing I could have done. But the announcements don't get any easier, especially thinking about where I'd be up to if I'd not had the miscarriage.
I don't know what to do about acupuncture either. Did it for over a year before my fresh cycle and through it with a BFP but early miscarriage too. I haven't been since the miscarriage but I've booked in again for the start of September and I'm not sure that was the right decision. I don't think I even like acupuncture because it sometimes really hurts but I like feeling like I'm doing something that might help!! Crazy!
Yes let me know how your appointment next week goes. Fingers crossed we will both be starting in September x
Lol, when I had the miscarriage that was the first thing I did too. Facebook is evil when you are so low and raw. I've not been on for months and feel better. I'm still getting the obligatory texts though: 'Just to let you know we tried for one month and got lucky.' Exactly what I need to hear after losing my only BFP. 😢
Anyway, yes. Have a think about the acupuncture. I've tried it all because I've read about it working for other women: reflexology, eating pineapple/brazil nuts, yoga, stupidly expensive vitamins and supplements.
All ultimately did nothing!
I don't want to think about how much money I've wasted on miracle cures!
Do it if it helps you feel better. Don't do it just because you've read you should. (That's my new mantra for this cycle!)
Those texts are so hard to read. Not many people know about the IVF/ miscarriage so I know they aren't aware of how painful it is to find out others are pregnant but it doesn't make it any easier. I feel mean because I've totally backed away from anyone who's pregnant or recently had a baby but it's just easier that way. They must be so confused but I can't put myself in situations that I know will set me back.
That's a good mantra. I dread to think how much money I've spent too! I'll literally try anything!! x
Yep, me too. I've taken myself away from so many situations and stopped speaking to so many women that I'm pretty much on my own now.
My husband would say it's my own fault as I refuse to tell anyone.
Everyone thinks they can offer advice and know it all. I'd rather be lonely than put up with stupid, insensitive comments from patronizing women!
Even though I haven't really told anyone I'm fully aware that people are gossiping about me being my back as I still get the odd comment. They have no clue how incredibly hurtful they are!
Life with infertility is a constant painful, expensive battle. I hate it. x
My husband doesn't understand why I have isolated myself and I think he gets a bit frustrated with me. I do think it is so different for women. I know he is struggling with it all too though, we just deal with it very differently. He says I'll end up with no friends but I'd prefer that than being surrounded by people talking about pregnancy and babies. It's so sad that this is what our lives our now.
You're not on your own anymore 😀. It's so nice to speak to somebody who understands. Patronising comments are so hurtful. And I can't believe people think it's ok to ask "why aren't you pregnant yet?!" Or "when are you going to have children?!".
And I know what you mean about feeling like people are talking behind your back. I've had time off with the miscarriage and operations and nosy people were desperate to know why x
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