BFN for me 😭: Hi ladies . After... - Fertility Network UK

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BFN for me 😭

Lolepops profile image
40 Replies

Hi ladies . After waiting for what seemed like a lifetime we needed up with a BFN . None of the embryos made it to freeze so looks like we are back to square one . Trying to keep positive and already thinking about the next go . Anyone got any tips of how to stay positive or any advice / success stories for next time around xxx

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Lolepops profile image
Lolepops
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40 Replies
ICSIRose profile image
ICSIRose

Aww I’m so sorry to read this lolepops!!!! I haven’t had any left over on my two cycles so would also need to do a fresh cycle which I think in some ways is much better. I wish you all the best with your fertility journey xxx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toICSIRose

Aww thank you . It’s my first go so Its hit me hard . More importantly congratulations on your tests . So happy for you xxx it would be so much easier if you knew it would happen at some Point . I’m sure you have been though lots yourself . Did you do anything different this time ? Xxx

ICSIRose profile image
ICSIRose in reply toLolepops

I used zita West’s ‘eat yourself pregnant’ book and also have been having acupuncture so hopefully the combination helped. It took my DH and I three years after our first cycle before we felt ready to try again. Really wish you all the best xxx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toICSIRose

Thank you . I will defo try both suggestions . No wonder it took you three years - the emotions are horrendous . Congratulations and let me know how you get along xxxx

ICSIRose profile image
ICSIRose in reply toLolepops

I also made fresh super smoothies for breakfast every morning to get my five a day in and the necessary folic acid! I started these when I started taking the pill Xxx

Dream32 profile image
Dream32

I'm sorry never give up hope and your dreams will one day come true x

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toDream32

Thank you . I hope so xxxx

Purpledazzle27 profile image
Purpledazzle27

So sorry to hear this. I had acupuncture, took Sita West vitafem vitamins and ate lots of avocados and oranges until they went out of season. Drank lots of whole milk and ate lots of protein like chicken. Also lots of veg and drank lots of water all the time. I used to be a real caffeine addict and now only have decaf tea. And I did lots of yoga but it came to a halt when I was stimming and my ovaries have been sore since. Hoping to get back into it though as it really helped me to be calm. Good luck for your next round. Xx

ICSIRose profile image
ICSIRose in reply toPurpledazzle27

Sounds like we had a very similar routine! Xxx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toPurpledazzle27

Thank you so much for your kind words . It truly does help . Have you just had a positive too ? Very happy for you . Hopefully I’ll be joining you soon as well . Did you ladies quit the booze well in advance as well ? Xxxx

ICSIRose profile image
ICSIRose in reply toLolepops

Yes I haven’t had alcohol since the end of May even though I only drank half a bottle a week (max) anyway. I just did everything possible this time. It will totally happen for you xxxx

Hannah143 profile image
Hannah143

So sorry to hear your news. It's the toughest journey to go through and my heart goes out to you. Ive had 4 fresh rounds and 1 frozen transfer with my own eggs before I moved on to Donor eggs. Grit determination and belief that it will happen for you will spur you on. This would be your second time right? Let's hope it second time lucky for you. They say that your first attempt is very unlikely to work as they get your drugs right etc 🌈⭐️😍 xx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toHannah143

Aww thank you so much xxxx I’m wondering now about donor eggs / sperm ... is that the route you are going down now ? I’ve got an appointment on Monday - a follow up one so I’ve got lots of questions . Good luck on your journey and thanks for responding it helps so much xxx

Hannah143 profile image
Hannah143 in reply toLolepops

I would say it too soon for you to do Donor if you've only done one round of your own eggs IVF. If you responded well then you should go again with your own eggs.

I'm doing donor eggs and my husband's sperm. We had 5 top grade A blastocysts to freeze, I've never produced anything like that with my own eggs so for us it was a natural next step.

I would also lots of questions around what they will do different from round 1 to round 2, there are lots of tweaks you can do along the way. Good luck xx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toHannah143

Aww thanks so much for the advice . I responded well ( I think ) . They got 16 eggs - 13 mature - 8 fertilised then 6 were ‘beautiful’ ( their words ) on day three . On my transfer day they rang and said only one was at blast stage ( I was so shocked ) . When I got to the clinic the dr said there was one that was nearly at blast so he put both back. Nothing left to freeze . I wondered it it’s the sperm to blame as OH has low sperm / motility . 2 million they said . Classed as severely low. The embryologist said from day three the sperm and egg work together so it made me think it is the sperms fault ? I suppose yours is the opposite isn’t it . I was going to ask about scratch ( I think they used glue ) . That is brilliant what you have . When do you go again ? Good luck with it all xxxx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toLolepops

Sorry good luck in tww ! I’m sure this time it’s going to be good for you xxxx

Hannah143 profile image
Hannah143 in reply toLolepops

Ask them lots of questions about what happened between day 3 and day 5, they will be able to give you their hypothesis of what caused that. Could be sperm, could be actually quality (how old are you? And what was your AMH?). If it is sperm there are things they can do to help improve quality and they can extract the super sperm to use the good ones.

Yes go for a scratch it's one of the few extras that actually has statistical evidence that it does improve the result. Go for it!

I've just had my 3rd Donor Egg transfer today , flying home now, so just in my 2ww! Xx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toHannah143

Thank you for the advice . I am writing my questions this weekend ! Good luck for your wait . I hope it goes super quick and you get a BFP xxxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

I’m sorry. All you can do is take one day at a time xx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toTugsgirl

Thank you so much . Good luck on your journey too xxxxx

So sorry. Take care x

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply to

Thank you xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05

So sorry to read this, in time you will feel stronger and you'll know when the time is right to put yourself through another cycle. Did you do Acupunture this cycle? If not I think it's definitely worth doing, this cycle I also drank the pomegranate smoothie and took CoQ10 plus conception vitamins xx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toE_05

I will definitely try acupuncture. Heard lots of good things about it even just for relaxation . Is it bad I want to try as soon as possible ! Just so hard to stomach . Good luck on your journey. Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply toLolepops

Definitely helps with that, I can't believe the difference it makes to my anxiety. I would say though make sure you find someone who specialises in infertility.

Not at all, after my first cycle last year I had a MMC and still wanted to 'get going' looking back now I think a lot of that was a way of coping but I totally get what you mean xx

Sunshine09 profile image
Sunshine09

Aww hunny I am so so sorry, ☹️ All I will say to you is never give up on something you can't go a day thinking about, your turn will come along with everyone else, desperately trying, ❤️🌈💋💋

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toSunshine09

Aww what lovely Words and just what I need to hear . Thank you so much , good luck on your journey xxx

Sunshine09 profile image
Sunshine09 in reply toLolepops

❤️💋💋

Fredaflintstone profile image
Fredaflintstone

So sorry to hear this. Is really heart breaking! Be kind to yourself. I found planning next steps was helpful and I went to see the counsellor at the clinic too. Wishing you all the very best for next time xxx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toFredaflintstone

Thank you xxx you have had a positive - so happy for you . Let me know how you get on xxx

Fredaflintstone profile image
Fredaflintstone in reply toLolepops

Thank you Lolepops, will do. You will get there too but I know how heart breaking it is to go what you’re going through now. I feared it would never work for us but it’s a bit of a number me game and you will get there. I know it’s hard to seeing people cycling at the same getting bfps when yowe haven’t. That’s what happened to me the first time too but I hope it gives you hope that you will definitely get there xxxx sending hugs xxxx

Blondie_81 profile image
Blondie_81

So so sorry for you,I had the same result at the start of the week - our second fresh transfer and 3rd ivf cycle.. 2 frozen embies from this cycle but scared to try again - looking into further testing maybe privately before any FET to see if I've got high NK cell count or anything. Just let it all out, treat and look after yourself take each day as it comes but know with each day you'll get a little bit stronger and feel a little bit better xx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops in reply toBlondie_81

Don’t give up , you must be heartbroken with what you have been through but it will happen , soldier on and get them Frosties in you x x x you are right ... one day at a time xx

Blondie_81 profile image
Blondie_81 in reply toLolepops

It is heartbreaking especially when you've built up hope, positivity and strength to do it all over again and it still doesn't work. Everything went roll perfectly this time but we have no answers and I just want to try get some before wasting our 2 precious remaining embryos xx we're in the process of moving house so just going to put all or energy and focus into that for the next few weeks xx take care

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86

So sorry 🙁 Take care xxx

Nyko1 profile image
Nyko1

Aww so Sorry to hear this , I had a better cycle round two after following some advice from the book ‘it starts with the egg’ including taking supplements melatonin(when it advises it in the cycle), CoQ10 , protein shakes, no alcoholic for 4 months, no processed foods, I have acupuncture both times but not sure if it does anything but I claim half the money back for that through my health insurance (dm me if you want to know the company name to look into, as I’m not sure I can put it on here) I had slightly less eggs but better quality. Although that round didn’t work for me either I have one frostie from that cycle which I didn’t have on first so I’m starting round 3 on Monday with the frostie , this will be my 3rd and final go and then I’m giving up, I want a baby so much but we’ve already spent 8k and I’m getting the feeling it’s not meant to be for me 😕 it would be donor or adoption if this doesn’t work my doc said. And as I’m 40 next and the costs for donor are so high and not guaranteed I think we are just going to give up and do a bucket list and enjoy the life we’ve been given instead. Oh this time I’m trying the scratch also which im having on Wednesday and very nervous 😫. Good luck with your journey, my friends was 3rd time lucky I just hope I have the same luck and hope it’s 2nd time luck for you xx

Fredaflintstone profile image
Fredaflintstone in reply toNyko1

Good luck Nyko - I really hope it’s third time lucky for you xxxx

Shanks_21 profile image
Shanks_21

So sorry for you lovely sending you a massive hug! I changed my diet and lifestyle massively I bought a book by Emma Cannon ‘Fertile - Nourish and Balance your Body Ready for Baby Making’ it tells what foods to eat at each stage of your cycle I just tried to incorporate some of of the foods where I could. I also had a daily smoothie and made sure I included avocado, beetroot, spinach and kale init. I bought the Zita West Positive Visualisation for IVF album and tried to go for a walk every day. Stay positive hun this will happen for you xxxxx

😢 So sorry to hear this. Xx

Lolepops profile image
Lolepops

Thank you ladies for the lovely positive replies . It really does help . Stay strong everyone . We will all get there in the end . Love to all of you in this bloody horrible time . Congratulations for all the positives too . Don’t want to spread doom and gloom . Keep smiling and loving all those around you who help in times of despair and heartbreak xxxx 😍❤️❣️🌈🦄❤️❤️❤️😍🌈🌈🌈🌈

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