Gutted and a tad angry

[Lamorna80]

So, we had EC yesterday for our second fresh icsi cycle (male factor infertility) and was pleased to get 9 eggs. The previous time I'd only managed 4 (3 of which fertilised) despite having lots of follicles.

They said that I do seem to have the issue of having far more follicles than eggs as I got 9 eggs from 19follicles.

Even so, I was prepared for this and happy with the number.

I'd responded really well the the stims and they ended up booking me in for EC after only 7days of 225 menopur (they had originally planned for 9 or 10). I didn't think much of it and initially saw it as a positive sign.

Anyway, I got the call from the embryologist this morning to say that out of the 9 eggs, 6 of them hadn't yet reached maturity and of the 3 remaining, only 2 fertilised! I was numb. I at least expected something to freeze as we are going to struggle to afford another fresh cycle (we only get one NHS funded). So after initial talks of 5 day transfer, they now want me back in tomorrow. I'm just gutted. Having that conversation whilst still being sore from the whole procedure yesterday just made me break down. This is such a cruel process. I can't help but think that they should have delayed collection by a day or two and stuck to the original timescale for collection, then I'd have had more mature eggs.

I didn't expect a 2 day transfer. So sad and not daring to get positive again as I just find the constant knocks too much to cope with.

Sorry for the long post, my OH is at work and I just need to let it out in some way.

[E_05]

Can't totally understand why your feeling angry, keeping everything crossed that these 2 embryos keep going strong, will you have them both transferred? I know it's hard but try and think there going back where they belong and that's the best place for them to grow. Hope your able to get some rest today x

[Lamorna80 in reply to E_05]

Thank you. Yes, putting them both back so there's no benefit in waiting any longer x

[Anipea]

Sorry to hear your news. I was wondering if you know how many follicles were 17mm and over? I read that at a certain size that they would only contain an egg. I had 7 follicles at my last scan. 5 of which were 17mm and over. We managed to get 4 eggs, the 5th follicles apparently got so big it had blood in so they couldn't use it. I was stimulated for 12 days on high dose drugs xx

[Lamorna80 in reply to Anipea]

Thanks for your reply.

I can't remember the exact sizes but was told that there were 15 follicles out of 20 that were the ideal size for collection. I was prepared for the lower than expected number of eggs, it's the loss of 6/7 good eggs that were just not yet mature that hurts.

The embryologist couldn't hide his surprise after giving us such positive vibes the day before.

[Hannah_J]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your situation... But what about those 6 immature eggs? Will they get a chance to become mature? Or they are no longer regarded as potential embryos? You might consider my question stupid, but I've never had such situation before, so I really don't know

I wish you an extremely successful transfer with BFP!! Hope to hear from you soon

[Lamorna80 in reply to Hannah_J]

Thank you for your response. They said that they gave the immature eggs as long as they could to mature but after clearing away the surrounding cells, they have a limited time in which they must fertilise them. Seems such a waste x

[Hannah_J in reply to Lamorna80]

I see... Fingers crossed for you!

[El1a80]

Hi, sorry to hear its not gone as you expected but dont loose hope yet. Its not over yet and only takes one to make it. We've not long had pur second failed icsi and totally understand how you are feeling. The highs and lows are draining and exhausting. Look after yourself and really hope it works out for you x

[sandra81]

I am really sorry to hear this. Like you I wish they had waited a little longer. However what is done is done. I hope and pray that the two remaining ones stick.

[Loopielu]

Sending a massive hug. I was so rude to my embryologist when she called about my limited fertilised eggs - I felt so bad afterwards about it but it was so raw and I was so pissed off.... and I went from a planned day 5 to a day 2 as well. At least you have two and they'll be safe back with you tomorrow, which is great! No good wasting energy on being mad is where I got to - doesn't help you or your beans!! Best of luck for transfer! xx

[Lamorna80 in reply to Loopielu]

Thank you, you're right. A walk in the sunshine with the dog has done me the world of good.

You'd think we'd get used to these knock backs and disappointments but it doesn't get any easier. Now to focus on what I can do....give my embies the best home 😁

[Allybally81]

Dog cuddles always help, sending you a human one too xxx

[Blondie_81]

I'm so sorry I can totally understand how disappointed you must have been - our first ivf we got only 1 egg collected (I burst into tears when the nurse came in to tell us) and it didn't fertilise overnight so that was it game over straight away and we'd been so hopeful/excited. 2 fertilised is still good news try and focus on those embryos and tell yourself that they're strong and that the clinic know best - your uterus is the best place for them. Sending love and hope and lots of luck xx

[mupcake]

Hi not sure why they booked for EC so early. Did they tell you the size of the follicules on your last scan? Aneways what's done is done. Now stay positive. I have been through this. I was slow responder and produced only 3 eggs all mature but only 1 fertilised. They transferred it on 3rd day. I was devastated as I too had only 1 cycle funded by NHS and thus nothing to freeze. But that sole 1 was I only needed and I got my BFP. You only need 1. Keeping everything crossed for you. Good luck & stay positive.

[Lamorna80 in reply to mupcake]

Thank you. I've been comforting myself by reading all the success stories

[Sunshine09]

Keeping everything crossed for you xx🤞❤️🌈💋

[emmab178]

It's upsetting for sure but try to beat in mind its quality overt quantity. I only have one ovary, got 8 follicles, 5 eggs at EC, 3 mature but all three went to blast and 30 weeks pregnant. It really does only take one and those two encores just need to be back in the best plave for them rather than being in the petri dish x

It could be worse, you could have none! Two chances coming your way x

[Kempton]

It only takes one! I only had 2 in total and I'm now pregnant! Just be positive about the ones you do have because you never know what might happen

[_Mia_]

I had one egg put in at barely 3 days, all the 6 others failed to fertilise or grow. Well, it was successful, I didn't have any hope and I was proved wrong. Don't give up just yet. Our nurse told us to babydance the evening the embryo was put back in to as the hormones released can help things.

[Lamorna80 in reply to _Mia_]

Baby dance, love it! Heading for the transfer now, trying to get the 'full bladder' just right 😬

[_Mia_ in reply to Lamorna80]

Good luck XXX

[Pammi912]

Hey, don't get depressed, I only had one egg, and had a 2 day transfer, and I have the most amazing boy, who's just turned 3.. you only need one.

Just starting a new cycle to hopefully give him a sibling. X

[Lamorna80 in reply to Pammi912]

Thank you, that really gives me hope. Good luck with your new cycle and giving him a sibling x

[ClarabGlasgow]

I totally understand your frustration but 2 is still good! I also feel they could have stimmed me for longer as I had quite a few smaller follicles that were catching up but when I asked they said they don't have an anaesthetist working at the weekends so they can do all procedures except egg collection! And that was a funded cycle. Maybe your clinic had same reason for not waiting a few more days? Hope your two embies continue to progress well xxx