Totally gutted

So I'm sitting here after EC waiting for DH to get back but he's text to say we only got 5 eggs. I'm not holding out any hope. Last time we got 10 and only one to transfer and none to freeze. So this cycle, I've forked out for acupuncture which has clearly made no difference whatsoever. So much for unexplained infertility. Clearly I'm not producing enough eggs. Absolutely gutted as this is our last funded cycle and we can't afford to go privately at the moment. Oh and he's off on a stag weekend so I've got to deal with all of the phone calls on my own. I don't mind him being away but it's going to be pretty gutting getting a phone call tomorrow to say if any have fertilised. When you consider most fall by the wayside, things are not looking great. Just as well I have school reports to write all weekend. Something to take my mind of it. Hope that the other ladies having EC today have had more success. x

59 Replies

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  • Hi MrsC. More often than not, no two cycles are the same, so just because most of your eggs failed to fertilise last time, it doesn't mean it will happen again. Try and keep positive for your eggs and let's hope that there will be 1 or 2 to transfer in a few days time. They may not leave them to reach blastocyst stage, but if not, at least they will be back inside you where they belong. A long weekend for you without DH, so try and keep busy with those books! Thinking of you. Diane

  • Thanks Diane. I think it was just a bit of a shock. My stimming went better this time and in fact they stopped me slightly early. I'm just really worried now that they'll all die overnight and there will be nothing left. On a positive note, my hubby did get his best sperm results with everything in the normal range and the motility is 3x better than it was on his very first analysis. I'm hoping his improved sperm make up for my lack of eggs. x

  • Hi MrsC. I'm sure your eggs will like the fact that DH's sperm have improved. Good luck! Diane

  • Thanks! Here's hoping! x

  • I'm here if u need me, I'll watch my phone religiously x

  • Thanks Hun. You're so lovely. xxx

  • Try and think quality over quantity xx

  • Thanks. I know. The logic makes sense but my heart is struggling to believe it. I'll stop feeling sorry for myself in a bit as I'll get bored of being sad. x

  • Oh I do feel for you! Its hard when you dont get massive number and you've already had a failed cycle! Hopefully these are good ones and you get your little magical egg! Best of luck for tomorrow!xx

  • Thank you. That's really kind. Dreading the call tomorrow. I'll just pray that anything has survived the night. x

  • Hi MrsC. We've all got our arms wrapped around you - you're not alone. Diane xx

  • Thank you. x

  • I totally understand where you are coming from, I think we've all been there and those phone calls are a b*tch! My track record of those phonecalls, not so much the fertilisations but the updates have been awful. Get your positive hat on now, Ive got mine on for you and have everything crossed for you! Let us know how you get on!xx

  • Thank you. You're very kind. I will try to be positive. Going to have a sofa day today and then will get on with stuff tomorrow. x

  • Hey lovely - try and stay positive. I only got 4 on my last cycle out of 15 follicles. I so know how you feel - I was so gutted 😞 and felt all my efforts to eat healthy and have acupuncture had been in vain. And so let down and cross and tearful and AARRGGHHH.

    I was rude to the embryologist the following morning when she called to update me 😳 because I had assumed our odds would be non existent and just wanted her to tell me the bad news... as it was, we had two top quality embryos to go back in, so it really can be quality over quantity.

    Are you doing ICSI? If not, can they do that for you to increase the chance of fertilisation?

    Everything crossed for you lady 🀞🏻. PM me if you need to vent at any point. xx

  • Thanks Hun. Yes we're already doing ICSI as DH's motility was borderline. Although, he's had good results today. Hopefully that might counteract the lack of eggs somewhat. I'll be alright. I'm pretty good at bouncing back. I'm just gutted as this is our last go and when you read that some people get 5-6 to freeze and that's our starting point, it feels like the finishing line is very far away. Thanks for your very kind words. It does really help to know there is someone who knows exactly how utterly rubbish I feel right now. Nobody knows we're going through it and we don't have any friends who have had trouble in conceiving so no-one around us would really get it. xxx

  • Same Hun. Take care of yourself and let me know what happens tomorrow- I have everything crossed for you! I'm sure they are all top quality. xx

  • That you Hun. Will do. x

  • Sometimes big numbers are bad, remember I had 15 and only 4 were ok!

  • That's true. Thanks for a reality check. x

  • It's not over yet 😜

  • Thinking of you. All the wishes for the best outcome xx

  • Thank you. That's really kind. x

  • I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you that all 5 do really well! 🀞 xx

  • Thank you Hun. You're very kind. x

  • Fingers crossed for your eggies, try and stay positive πŸ˜™ xx

  • Thank you. x

  • 5 eggs and you are definitely not out! Each cycle is unique, so just because things didn't work as well as you would have liked last time, does not mean this one will be the same. Wishing you loads and loads of luck and some positive news tomorrow. xx

  • Thank you. I think I've just realised from being on here that most people get more and some to freeze. x

  • Hard but stay positive you never know fingers crossed for you xxx

  • Thank you Hun. x

  • Thinking of you! It's easy to say but try and be as positive as possible. As the others have said you aren't done yet. And they say you only need one xx good luck tomorrow xx

  • Thank you. I feel a bit brighter after my 3 hour sleep this afternoon. We'll just have to see. Nothing I can do. Just have a little faith. x

  • It really is so much easier said then done. Just like that phrase "relax" it's not as easy as people think. I'll be wishing for you x

  • Thanks Hun. x

  • I'm wishing your eggs all the best, it only takes one - my friend had four and a 3 day transfer with none to freeze and has a gorgeous little girl now. Ps I'll be with you writing reports for school this weekend, good luck xxx

  • Thank you. That's lovely to hear. Sorry you're writing reports this wknd too. Good luck with yours. x

  • Thinking of you and sending lots of positive vibes. Am just behind you in my cycle as have just started my menopur!! I'm a teacher too...... finding work a big struggle as it's such a busy time of the year. Do you have any tips to survive? Xx

  • Thanks.

    Not massively hence my meltdown post earlier. Also my work don't know what I'm going through. I just tell them I have appointments but not what they're for as there are confidentiality issues. However, I find weekly acupuncture useful and also have very quiet wknds and evenings so I can sleep and relax. I work through lunch marking to reduce the amount after school and am a bit more selfish about when I arrive and leave. I just try to actively avoid confrontation or stressful situations by walking away. I have a violent autistic child this year so I am quite careful about handling him and give him to the deputy head when he goes off on one. Other than just try to stay positive. Good luck with your cycle. xxx

  • Thank you! Finding work difficult as so much going on and medication has made me feel really grotty, I know stress isn't supposed to help and I am so worried about the stress I have put on my body πŸ˜₯No one really prepares you about what to expect during this rollercoaster journey xx

  • Absolutely! I had an awful migraine the other week and got a bit teary in a staff meeting when I was given what appeared to be a huge job to do (I'm slt as well). I ended up having the following two days off work. At my return to work meeting my boss told me the reason I had a migraine was because I put too much stress on myself. I saw red and asked if that was her medical opinion. I then explained I was currently on medication which has migraines as a side effect. It is so difficult but I do find the acupuncture helps. Have you tried it? x

  • I wish I had, went for reflexology instead and am missing it so much as can't have it during treatment! Need it to relax!! Xx

  • Sometimes I feel like when you have less eggs, the ones you do get might be better quality. Like all the effort has gone into making sure those 5 are perfect, rather than making as many as possible.

    I 'only' got 6 eggs from my cycle and that go of ICSI worked for me (and I have 5 frozen). Think positive - 5 is way more than you need x

  • Thank you. That is really reassuring to know. Fingers crossed. x

  • You are definitely not out yet! I did 3 cycles last year (it was the clinic's advice as I'm older) and we got I think 10 eggs over those three cycles - and in the end we were able to freeze 6 Frosties, one of whom woke me up kicking this morning at nearly 35 weeks. It only takes one! Best of luck to you x

  • Ah thank you for your reply. That's really lovely to know. Feeling nervous this morning for the call but I guess we'll see. All the best with your last few weeks and I wish you great joy in the weeks ahead when you get to meet your little one. x

  • Just wanted to wish you luck for the phone call this morning xxx πŸ€πŸ€žπŸ»πŸ€πŸ€žπŸ»

  • Thank you. That's very kind. Feeling very nervous about it. Also I have acupuncture booked for 10:30 so now worrying they will ring whilst I'm there. x

  • Oh god they phone you late don't they?!?! You'd think they'd phone at the crack of dawn knowing how you will be feeling! Acupuncture is an excellent way to pass this time, and just leave your phone on, too important to be polite!! I remember my last two cycles and I'm feeling bloody nervous already and I've not started my third cycle yet πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ keep us posted, and we are all thinking of you xxxxxxx

  • Yes. I can't help but feel it's not good news given how late it is. Perhaps they're just putting off ringing with bad news. x

  • My husband always says they save the best news until late!! Much better way to end the day! Xx

  • Bless you. Wait and see how fertilisation goes. It could be an extra good quality batch of eggs!! Also I've been told that acupuncture on the day of transfer (rather than or in addition to in the run up) really helps so maybe something to get booked in if you can? Xx

  • Thank you. That's really kind. My problem is that I'm doing this all around work so I'll need to go back after transfer if we get that far. I don't think I'll be able to go for acupuncture as well. I do have 2 sessions lined up a few days after that though. x

  • Work is a stinker isn't it! Keeping everything crossed for you xx

  • Thanks. x

  • Thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck for today's call xxxx

  • Thank you. Still waiting for the call and have to leave now for acupuncture. x

  • Really hope it's positive news today MrsC, just because that happened last time doesn't mean it will again so πŸ™πŸ»xx

  • Thank you. Still waiting for the call so feeling more and more like nothing has happened. x

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