Fertility Network UK
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Partner saying he wants to give up and won't do IVF again!!

So it's only been a day since I had the bad news my second IVF wasn't successful! And my boyfriend is saying he is done with it :( I've tried to say it's just how he's feeling but he's adamant. That's made me sadder than the negative result yesterday !!

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So sorry it didn't happen this time for you, your boyfriend is grieving too and maybe just needs time to process it all and in time he might change his mind, my bf got really upset when our first attempt failed but we talked and gave each of support, you both need some you time too xxx

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Thanks 😊

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It's very raw for you both. After a bfn some of us start thinking about forming a plan of action as it helps to have some focus, whereas some just want to walk away and never try again due to the potential heartache of another bfn. Give your OH some time to process yesterday's outcome and then try talking to him again xx

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Thanks 😊

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So sorry to hear your sad news. I agree with the other ladies, your boyfriend sounds like he needs time to grieve and accept what has happened, as do you. He will find it so difficult seeing you upset and his default response will be not to do it again. Take care of yourself, you have been through so much. Xx

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Thanks 😊

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Hey hun

I'm sorry to hear about your news. Your posts over the last few days have had me in tears. I've just had the one failed attempt and it was heartbreaking. My world felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. I didn't want to do it again and was adamant that I wouldn't however we are now looking at doing a FET in Oct. I guess what I am trying to say is its such an emotional time you are both hurting. Your OH is probably trying to protect you! Concentrate on each other. From your previous posts it sounds like you are a truly loving couple. Take it day by day and then in time you can tackle it together. Sending you lots of hugs xx

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Thank you, sorry you got upset :( isn't it so hard! It's so nice to chat to people on here that have had the same experiences, it something's feels like a lonely road but doesn't have to be at all. I really hope your October FET goes well, I found acupuncture got me through this one I definitely recommend it for stress as much as the actual benefits to the IVF. 😊xxx

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Hey hun

How are you? and the OH?

This forum is an amazing place. So many supportive people. It's so nice not to feel alone. As supportive as friends and family are they just don't appear to get it!

Accupuncture is brilliant. Prior to starting the last treatment I thought that an alien had taken over me and I needed to do something to help with the anxiety so I opted for Accupunctute and reflexology. I loved it! I've just started again. It's a tough journey and anything I can do is good for me. Xx

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Feeling quite down today but I know they will come and go so just riding the waves :(. My boyfriend feels alittle better but doesn't want to even think about trying again at the moment! I have had some acupuncture and reflexology over the last few months and I agree it really helps especially the acupuncture it's just expensive. I'm going to have some more when I get paid so I don't get too depressed , as I feel at a lose end now x

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Awe hun sending you hugs xx It's such a horrible journey. I've started back at the gym this week and it's made me feel a bit happier and more normal. Get some of the negativity out lol. Although I've heard mixed things about exercising. You can't seem to do right for doing wrong with it all. I've decided if it helps me feel more "normal" it's worth the risk. I put together a bit of a failure list just stuff myself and my OH could enjoy doing together amongst other stuff going for a walk, going to our fave restaurant, going into London, a concert and once we'd worked through that I started to look forward.

I'm thinking of you hun and here if you want to chat, moan, rant or whatever xx

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Really sorry to hear it was not successful. I can imagine how hard it 8a for you both and why yiur partner feels that way.

Do you have any frozen embryos? I had a natural cycle frozen embryo transfer (FET) and it is so much easier and I am pregnant because of it :)

Have a few months off, get yourselves emotionally and physically healthy again and see if you can discuss FET.

Wishing you loads of luck.

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Thanks for the advice, we do have one blastocyst left, so would need to pay for the cycle other than that. I will see if I can do that, I would prefer a natural cycle but not sure they do them were I go! I'm gonna try normally for a while I think , it's just we aren't getting any younger :( I'm sure my boyfriend will feel better in a few weeks x

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