Here it goes...

[dopti]

Heya!

I feel like I am done with my life here. Here goes my infertility story (I will try to make it brief).

I bought insurance 5 years back when I found out about my infertility issues. Now I am done with IUI and IVF treatments (no positive results) My GP suggested ICSI on our last visit. I want to know if someone else had similar experience? Unfortunately, my insurance policy doesn't cover its cost. Has anyone of you had a successful experience with ICSI, after being disappointed with other treatments? I have had a lot of issues ever since I started TTC. At every rounds my medicines and dosages were changed to seek positive results. I just fail to understand my state. I feel pretty awkward when it comes to discussing these things with friends and family. I tried to go adoption but TBH i cannot cover the costs of lawyers and all. The court procedure and everything else is so frustrating. I am already done with everything. I feel exhausted, stressed and what not. I am afraid all this has started to effect my relationship with my husband.

[Suzanna_G]

Hey lovely, I know what you are going through. I am amazed so see how strong you are. I on the other hand have crying session every other day. I am going through a lot as well. I am an adopted child myself. I don't know who my real parents are. My parent (now) are from China. I look a Chinese as well. I had no Idea that I am adopted, my parents never disclosed it to me. We are living in Ireland. I am 30 years old and got married 4 years back. Since then I am TTC#1. I recently found out the my infertility is genetic. I seem to have lost myself. I am glad that my husband is very supportive and loves me irrespective of the fact that I am infertile. If you have a little idea about my condition you will know where I stand. It was devastating for me. I still have some hopes may be there is a some sort of treatment for me somewhere in this big world. I will not give up looking for it. You shall not lose hopes as well xoxo

[B1967 in reply to Suzanna_G]

Is normal to feel that way and I know relationship often break up as a result of infertility. Your husband has to be patient with you because is not your fault.

Have you tried egg donor is quite cheap abroad although egg donor isn't guarantee but have better result. Have made two failed attempt with egg donor. Finally went to do hysterocpy which was discover that I have inflamation resulting from bacteria inflection. This has been treated, thinking to go back for treatment in October and I am hoping for the best

[Suzanna_G in reply to B1967]

Yes, I have been working on it for quiet a while now. Whatever we do has to be done with donor eggs. I am not sure if it will actually work for me. The doctors say that it is a translocation disorder which means that the embryo either get a lot of nutrients or none at all. In this case It will not only be dangerous for me for for my child as well. I still confused and wondering if I shall take the risk or not? I think donor eggs can work for me. I have been able to understand every detail as yet and still visiting my doctor. I have already asked him this question and he said that he will let me know after the results of further tests. I have sleepless nights thinking about all of this. I really appreciate your reply. I am glad I came here to express my darkness. It is so difficult to talk about all this to other people and it is so amazing to talk to people who can understand you. Even doctors sound like machines to me!

[Cyantist]

I had several unsuccessful rounds of iui, but my clinic does icsi as standard so I never even tried ivf. However icsi did work for me. Do you mind me asking what the reason for the ivf failure was? If it is that the eggs didn't fertilise then icsi definitely might help.

Here adoption costs very little, though there are a lot of hoops to jump through to be approved, so I can understand how frustrating it must be of that is something you'd consider but is just unaffordable.

Infertility is horrible and is bound to affect relationships. Try to take some time to look after yourselves as a couple.

And there is always the option of egg or embryo donation if you think that's something you would want.

[dopti in reply to Cyantist]

The reason my treatments have been failing is that I have an MC every time I even conceive, the duration is not more than 5-6 weeks. I also had a D&C on my last IVF because I got really bad. I would faint a lot and have severe pains. Therefore I am not very sure about all this. My doctors are also very concerned and they do not want to proceed further until they know the root cause of the problem. It is important for them to know the reason and see if it can be eliminated before making me try anything else. I am also not sure if a donor egg can work in these circumstances. They only tell me that this is pretty rare.

Yes, Infertility is the greatest heartache of my life. I couldn't really believe that things could be so grave. The more doctors make developments about my infertility the more I get disappointed. I lose hope and become so numb at times. I have started hating being around fertile people, especially the ones with babies.

[Lisa_Brad]

Hi. I am sorry to hear your story. My story may help you get a little help.

I have been worried about my condition for several years just like and any other infertile woman. I have now accepted that it is hard to explain things to people even in closest relationships. My uterus got removed due to cancerous polyps. I was devastated just like you. Every woman wants to enjoy motherhood and feel those tiny hands and feet. That baby smell. I felt so contended :')

My remote cousin gave her son to me because she could not afford his living. Now recently she got married to a rich guy and wants her son back. The baby is only 4 months old. I am so attached to him. I don't want to give him back but I have no other option since it was not a legal adoption. She will be coming over in 2 days to get her son back.

I hope you can imagine what I am going through right now.