Hi there. Thought I'd sign up to this to get some support and advice from others in the same boat and also share our experiences. I don't really know what I'm doing on here yet so please bear with me! We have had one failed cycle of Ivf in early June and in the next couple of months will be doing a frozen embryo transfer with our only remaining frozen blastocyst.
I'm 34 and husband 35. Our issue is male factor. My husband has azoospermia due to a missing vas deferens . He had a TESE to retrieve sperm earlier this year. We then had to wait several months before I could start on the meds. Our first cycle went really well and I responded well to the drugs and got 10 mature eggs. We ended up with two excellent 5 day blastocysts and were really positive. Unfortunately on test day we got a BFN and my period started a few days later. We were devastated and I kept thinking what did I do wrong. My husband is also really struggling as he thinks he is a failure and hates the fact he is putting me through all this. I am doing my best to tell him it's not his fault etc and we just have to do things the hard way etc but it's been very hard. We have been offered 5 sessions of counselling through our clinic but he wants to wait to see what happens with the FET cycle.
We have our nurse planning appt for the FET on 23 August so will find out then when it'll all start again. Just really praying it works as it's our last shot on the NHS and not sure how long it would take to save up for another full cycle. So frustrated with how long it all takes on the NHS its taken nearly 3 years to get here. I'm trying to eat healthily and have started doing more exercise recently which I've found has helped de stress me a bit!
Looking forward to reading the posts here 😊
Hey there, I would say hands down you've done the best thing by getting on this forum. Has been the best thing I've done since starting this journey. I think if you've been offered counselling no harm in having space to clear your thoughts and feelings. Would husband go separately so can let it out? I think there's a theme of men trying to be strong to protect us which can leave us thinking they're not as bothered.
In terms of the lack of success you've done absolutely nothing wrong at all, no way. It just seems that sometimes it doesn't work even with a great embryo. I think you should be proud of yourself for doing it and getting to the end. Hard I know when you get so close and go through all those stages to get no further forward. I've only done one round (unsuccessful) but I think from what I'm seeing on here there's not many ladies get through first go. It seems like a numbers game. The more lottery tickets = bigger chance. Wishing you lots and lots of good wishes xxx
Hi Bibble, thanks for your reply. Yes have been on few other forums lurking but thought I'd actually sign up. I think he would go on his own yes. I think though as so few sessions we are allowed he wants to see how this next try goes as if this one doesn't work well be even more crushed and huge decisions needed I.e whether to save up and self fund or whether to look at adoption etc. We've booked a week away soon and really looking forward to the break before we go through it all again. Yes reading through posts and other things online see it often doesn't work first time. It's just so hard not knowing why it doesn't work isn't it? I'm sorry to hear about your unsuccessful cycle. Are you planning on giving it another go? Thanks and lots of good wishes to you too xx
Yes I think we'll try again but like you we're in an NHS clinic (but self funded) and the waiting times are huge for follow up and then starting another cycle so we might go to a private clinic instead now because I think I might have egg quality issues and maybe time is of the essence.
It is really hard not having an explanation of why it doesn't work. You're doing the very best thing though. There's up and downs and your thoughts and feelings will evolve and change.
In terms of the counselling you can probably also access support via local mental health service often by self referral, if not via GP. It won't be specialist fertility counselling but they will still be an outside perspective and a chance to air things with ideas on how to cope. Just another option xx
Yes the waiting between appointments is a nightmare especially when time isn't on our side! Good luck for your next try and finding another clinic. Thanks for your words has made me feel better. Thanks for the tip re counselling will look into that. Just a case if waiting few more weeks for our appt now find out when we can get going again! Xx
Keep talking on here too. It's helped me so so much xxx