Feeling empty 😞

[Lenny_L]

My partner & I have been ttc for 8 years. I had my first fet cycle but failed and I feel completely devastated and angry. I guess it's because I was so hopeful that my little embryo would implant as it was top quality and I had no complications. As we only had one embie I have to the start from the beginning again with egg collection etc

Can't help but feel jealous of others who are pregnant. Is this normal?

My younger sibling has had a gorgeous baby boy and I adore him he's perfect and another sibling is expecting in January. It's so hard, I try to be as normal as possible but deep within I'm heartbroken 😭 I feel bad for feeling like this but I cannot help it.

[Leesara]

I would say jealously is completely normal. It's even harder when it's siblings, as you love them but the jealously based on your own situation remains.... really fee I can relate to your post

[Hampshiregal]

Dear Lenny I'm sorry to hear your news. Just repeating the previous poster, jealously is completely normal. I decided to go and see a counsellor because I had emotions I'd never experienced before. I'd never felt so sad and unhappy about myself or my body, life etc. The counsellor helped me realise it was all normal in relation to my situation. Knowing my feelings were a normal reaction meant they didn't scare me so much. I go to yoga once a week and that helps. Best wishes x

[Georgina78]

I can relate to your post 100% Lenny_L and I'm so sorry your fet didn't work and you're feeling so low.

I have had 4 failed cycles with great quality embryos (the last ending in a chemical pregnancy) and it's so hard and never gets any easier. Trying for 8 years is such a long time and is really unfair 😔

It's totally normal to feel such jealousy of others, I am going through the same thing at the moment and I find it's particularly hard when it's siblings. My sister just told me this week that she is pregnant and my sister in law is too, nearly 6 months gone. To say it feels cruel that 2 people so close have been so lucky and we haven't (after what we've been through particularly) is a huge understatement 😢

I too feel bad for feeling like this, I've never felt so guilty about anything really. My sister and I are so close so to feel so sad for us rather than only joy makes me extremely uncomfortable, it's really tough isn't it..

Only yesterday I've had to stomach my mums excitement, it's her first grandchild and she's wanted it for years. She's trying to be sensitive to us but the excitement is just pouring out of her and taking over, I'm finding that really difficult and I don't suppose it's going to get any easier until I've dealt with it.

Sorry for waffling about myself, I just wanted you to know you're not alone and people understand completely. I hope it gets easier Hun, perhaps have a break and do some nice things together. Hugs xx

[E_05]

Hey, so sorry your feeling like this. As others have said jealously is totally normal when going through this roller coaster journey.

I've posted a few times about my SIL and nephews, both my brothers have children growing up they were never bothered about having them (they obvs love them now) but all I've ever wanted is a family and some days feel so angry that it's me that's been doomed with infertility. Hang in there, were all here to support you xx

[NsKaz]

Hi Lenny, oh I feel for you. It can be such a devastating journey can't it? Just echoing what the others on here have said, jealousy (though horrible) I think is totally normal in our situation. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Just know that you are not alone. Everything you think and feel doesn't make you a bad person, it is a very normal reaction. I had 6 months of clomid which made me feel very down and at my lowest point 7 of my close friends told me they were pregnant in 2 weeks. I just couldn't cope so ended up going for some counselling to help me get through it. I know it doesn't work for everyone but it really helped me and stopped me from beating myself up. I've just finished my first round of ivf and found out last Friday that we were unsuccessful. My best friend is being induced on Monday and 2 more have just had their babies. It's so hard not to feel jealous but I'm trying to keep the faith that it will all work out in the end. Know that you are so strong for going through this journey for 8 years! A warrior woman! It is so unfair, but all we can do is keep going. Sending you all the love and luck in the world and hope that you feel a little better soon xxxx

[Lenny_L]

Sorry I haven't responded back to you all, after my post I was diagnosed with Depression, so I have been concentrating on trying to get better. Still a long road to go, but I'm trying to find my old positive self back (which is still proven to be difficult).

We have our follow up appointment next week after a long 3 months wait. I do hope they will provide answers to our questions. I am rather nervous to start round 2 of our IVF journey, as I still feel low.

I'd like say thank you all for your comments, I appreciate them... you made feel like wasn't alone on this journey. Also Wish you the best of luck on your journeys x