Empty !!!

[Lind1607]

Tomorrow I have to take a pregnancy test as my 11 days are up . I know I'm not pregnant no matter what people keep telling me. I bled heavy for three days so I know I can't be pregnant . I feel empty and really emotional , I've had to have 3 days off because of the pain from the cramps . Now it's time to go back to work tomorrow after the test and get over this emotional rollercoaster that has been HOPE faith and dreams that have not come true !!

[Lamorna80]

Oh Lind1607, I know exactly how you feel and no amount of positive comments can change that deep sorrow. I hadn't told anyone at work and when someone saw me looking sad on the day I'd tested (I'm always the positive, happy one), they told me (in a jokey way) to pull myself together and get on with it. They weren't to know, but it toppled me and having fought the tears for so long, I couldn't stop them.

All I can reassure you with is that things will get better. When you're off the meds, you will start to see the future and you will build up your reserves and dare to dream again.

For now, just let yourself be. Don't think long term, just look after yourself day to day. Thinking of you and sending lots of love x

[Lind1607 in reply to Lamorna80]

Thankyou it's been a hard year so far I lost my grandad to cancer just at the start of the I.v.f and I was really hoping it worked so i knew he was watching over us , It took two years to get to have i.v.f and we have had to over come so much to get here and I feel it's been for nothing

[Lind1607 in reply to Lind1607]

Pim just in a dark place at the moment xx

[Lamorna80 in reply to Lind1607]

So sorry to hear about your grandad. He will be watching over you and he is there as a comfort for you now. Learning to be patient is something that I've had to come to terms with. It's so hard. I sometimes feel like screaming when I'm told how long it is before my next consultant appointment etc. It's so true that you honestly can't understand the effect of waiting until you've been in such a position. It's like they forget that before we even went on search of help or answers to why everyone appeared to be getting pregnant apart from us, many of us had faced years on the monthly rollercoaster wondering whether we'd be pregnant, dealing with disappointment then setting ourselves up again.

We're tough ladies I'm learning a lot about myself in this process and through all the hard times, we've got to be proud of ourselves and how we manage to cope with our own personal balttles x

[Fredaflintstone]

Fingers crossed for you. Some people have bled and got bfps and not had other symtoms. Hang in there xx

[Lind1607 in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Thankyou but I'm full of bad luck unfortunately xx

[Hidden]

Lind -I really hope you are having the wrong gut feel on this and hope you see a BFP. I had shocking cramps, not just the 2WW but thoughout the first 16 weeks. This can happen.

I hope it's a good sign for you xxxx