Feeling completely broken 💔 - Fertility Network UK

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Feeling completely broken 💔

LozR profile image
LozR
26 Replies

It's OTD for my third FET for a sibling within in the last year and it's negative again. I put everything into this round, money, time, energy... even went for an endometrial scratch and added in lubion which I've never used in previous cycles. I just don't know where to go from here. It's so much harder with a 3 year old, I'm shattered but I desperately want to give her a sibling. I've asked for a review appointment with my clinic which I've never had before, not sure what they can say though.

Does anyone know if there are tests that can be done to find out why my embryos aren't sticking? They have all been fairly good quality (worst quality was 4ab) and over the 3 FET's I've had 4 transferred.

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LozR
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26 Replies
HedgehogMad profile image
HedgehogMad

So sorry you had another negative 💔 it's so crushing. If you had a successful pregnancy before, most likely it's terrible luck and the embryos weren't quite right. There are other things that can be tested such as PGTA testing of embryos, other checks on your womb, but a lot of these things don't have a huge amount of evidence behind them. Worth asking your clinic why they think it hasn't worked and what they would advise. Sending lots of love xxx

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to HedgehogMad

Thank you. I've only been pregnant once and kind of stupidly assumed that if my body had done it once it would just do it again. It's so frustrating having unexplained infertility, I just want to know why so I can do something to fix it!Do you know if they can test frozen embryos or if I'd have to do another fresh round to have them tested? Xxx

HedgehogMad profile image
HedgehogMad in reply to LozR

I think you can thaw, biopsy and refreeze, I've heard a few people have had this done. Do you have many embryos left? It may be worth just transferring them depending on how many you have xxx

HedgehogMad profile image
HedgehogMad in reply to HedgehogMad

As PGTA testing is expensive

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to HedgehogMad

I have 3 left. If it's expensive then yeh probably better financially to just transfer but I'm finding each round much more difficult on my body so I really don't know if I can do it all again and then go through this heartache again. I know there are never certainties with ivf but I feel that without knowing why it keeps failing I'm just seeing myself up for another fall. Maybe I'll feel differently after a review meeting, it's just so hard to think rationally when it comes to ivf! xxx

HedgehogMad profile image
HedgehogMad in reply to LozR

Have you tried natural cycles? I find it much nicer as it works with the natural rhythm and isn't nearly so messed up with hormones

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to HedgehogMad

Yeh my 2nd fet was meant to be a natural cycle but I never get positive opk's so it ended up converting to medicated. I don't think my clinic are actually keen on finding anything out about you, if you don't fit in their timetable then it doesn't work for them. I think they were asking me to do opk's too early because I'm not a 28 day cycle normally but they didn't want to push it later in the month

HedgehogMad profile image
HedgehogMad in reply to LozR

Oh that's a shame. Maybe you could ask about a modified natural transfer? Where you do a trigger injection when your lead follicle is ready ..?

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to HedgehogMad

I'll ask about that, thank you xxx

Lucyhannah1 profile image
Lucyhannah1

Hi, I’m in a similar situation. I had a successful first FET which resulted in my daughter who’s 3 in October. Since then I’ve had two failed frozen cycles with top grade 5AA and 5AB embryos and both failed. Have you tried a double transfer? My daughters transfer was a double and then I have had two failed singles. We have 4 left. Like you the toll it’s taken on my body and my mentally I definitely can’t do it again 4 times (also even though it’s a frozen cycle it’s expensive) we are contemplating a double as a last attempt. The doctor didn’t seem to have any ideas as to why ours failed. She said it could be embryo quality. So frustrating. Wishing you luck on your future cycles x

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to Lucyhannah1

We tried to do a double transfer but one of the embryos got lost between thawing and transfer so ended up just being a single. If I go again I'll be requesting a double though, I need the odds increased. Wishing you luck too x

Lucyhannah1 profile image
Lucyhannah1 in reply to LozR

my clinic also said they will check my progesterone levels a couple of days before the transfer and potentially up it if it too low which they haven’t done on my previous transfers x

IVFmumma profile image
IVFmumma

So sorry to hear you didn't get your positive this time. I was in a similar boat to you - we did 4 frozen transfers using good quality (but untested) embryos from our original IVF cycle that gave us our son in 2019. I assumed it would work first go again! After 4 failed transfers and no answers, we decided to PGTA test our last 3 frozen embryo's. Two didn't survive the process, one came back with an abnormal result. They were my lowest quality embryos though and I'm glad we didn't transfer them. So we moved to a full fresh round and decided to PGTA test our best 4 embryos to start with. We got 2 chromosomally normal from those 4 - and the 'best graded quality' embryo was actually one of the abnormal ones! So had we just gone on grading and transferred that one first, it would have failed. I now have a 2 week old in my arms as I type this - as our first transfer using the tested embryo worked. I wouldn't change any decision we made for that cycle if we were to do it again.

There are lots of other tests and explorations you can do but in my opinion if you've had a healthy pregnancy previously like I had, then a lot of it points to the embryo itself.

Definitely talk to your clinic in your review and get all your options to consider.

Good luck and sorry again this time wasn't this one X

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to IVFmumma

Thank you. I feel like I can't go through a fresh round, it was too much the first time round and now with a 3yo to deal with I think it would break me. I'm scared to ask to test the embryos incase they don't survive it and I end up with nothing to transfer but then maybe that's kinder than going through transfers and getting hopes up for it to fail? So hard to decide x

Rainbowdreams82 profile image
Rainbowdreams82

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you’ve had another failure. The pain of the ivf journey mentally is brutal. Whatever you decide to do, don’t give up. We’ve been trying for a sibling since November & had a failed frozen transfer, a chemical and then third time lucky we are pregnant! I still can’t quite believe it! Currently 8 weeks and just hoping all continues well. There is hope. Have the review, ask all the questions and when you feel ready go for it again. Will have everything crossed 🤞🏼 for you. Sending all the positive vibes to get you through this emotional rollercoaster xxx

rainbowbaby8320 profile image
rainbowbaby8320

hi

I’m sorry you are going through this… I’m in exactly the same boat as you…I’ve got a three year old and I’m trying to give him a sibling… I’ve had 1 mc, 2 more failed FETs and then did another cycle and got one pgta screened embryo - still didn’t work? Now they think I might have an auto immune problem… they are giving me prednisolone and maybe blood thinners and intralipids too at my next FET… but I have to get another pgta good embryo first which is a mountain to climb on its own? Next egg collection booked at end of June.

What is lubion? Is that a type of steroid? Is it the equivalent of prednisolone?

I’ve been carefully thinking… I’ve spent about £25k already on the failed FETs, a hysteroscopy, and new multi cycle fee and drugs… I think I’m reaching a point where, if it doesn’t work next time, I’m going to consider giving up? I know that’s horrible to accept but we are both in a position where we have really tried to give a sibling… there is no guilt about that? If your little one asks you about siblings you can honestly say you did your best? Nobody can ask more of themselves..

also it affects their life too - all the money spent etc… it is a bit of a balance when it goes so far?

I hope you can find some peace either way xx

rainbowbaby8320 profile image
rainbowbaby8320 in reply to rainbowbaby8320

sorry just to add you might want to consider pgta as then you will know your egg quality better - like the other lady said, one of my fastest developing embryos was not euploid in the end and didn’t pass the screening!! So it can be really helpful to avoid mc, wasted time etc x and stress!!

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to rainbowbaby8320

Lubion is progesterone injections. Not sure what prednisolone is sorry. That's the other thing, the cost is crazy and the guilt of not taking my daughter on holiday or being able to do whatever we want is starting to creep in. Some big decisions needing made soon I think. Thank you, I hope you find your peace too x

rainbowbaby8320 profile image
rainbowbaby8320 in reply to LozR

I know - I had that guilt too so booked to take my son to disneyland - i've got money flying out the door like there's no tomorrow but I decided that if I was going to spend on this stuff, I need to spend on him too so I don't have as much of that guilt - and also it will create some happy memories and distract me - this helped me a lot! maybe you could go on a lovely little holiday?

I think it would be worth you asking your consultant about auto immune diseases? the Prednisolone is being given to me for that as they think now that's maybe why i'm not getting pregnant - if you have an auto immune disease your body may be attacking the embryos like a virus or something!

FirstIVFer profile image
FirstIVFer

Hi lovely, so sorry to read about your failures but I would definitely recommend PGT testing, it's always really surprising when top graded embryos fail but I've seen many times top graded embryos come back with chromosomal abnormalities. I know it's expensive but the cost of failed FETs, coupled with the months you loose far outstrip the initial cost. I'm not sure it's worth testing frozen embryos as nor sure the Shaw and refreeze rate but worth asking xx

Effie1988 profile image
Effie1988

All I can say is sometimes it’s just bad luck. For a sibling, we did 5 FETs before we had success. Each time the clinic wanted to do new tests. The first 3 were not PGTA tested. So we PGTA tested the remaining embryos and then the first PGTA tested embryo failed. They then wanted us to do ERA, ALICE, NK cells, etc tests but we decided against it. We had a hysteroscopy and the doctor said everything is fine. Last transfer was a 3BB (our lowest quality embryo) but this one stuck.

I was like you, I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong and we were considering giving up. We had 2 more embryos and luckily for us the penultimate one worked.

For the last round I did a few extra things (who knows if they helped). I ate lots of seeds, had intercourse the night before the transfer (there is a study that says this helps) and did a lot of walking (roughly 10k a day). I don’t know if any of this helped but it just felt good to try and do something to help.

I wish you all the luck with your journey. It definitely isn’t easy. X

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to Effie1988

What is ERA, ALICE and NK? sorry I've not heard of them before. My clinic have never even suggested any tests, all I get is "sorry to hear that wasn't successful, let us know when you want out back on the waiting list to try again". So frustrating. I'm clearly going to have to push for tests x

gerifit profile image
gerifit

Oh lovely I’m so sorry. This honestly could be me writing this. Two years down the line of trying for a sibling for my now 3 year old (a first time successful fresh transfer). We used up our remaining 4 embryos (3 fails and 1 miscarriage) and in March had to go through egg collection again. We’ve had our embryos PGT-A tested this time at the suggestion of our consultant, as they thought that was the most likely reason they weren’t sticking/miscarrying. We’re now in so much debt from funding this, especially with the testing, but if it works it will be worth it. Prepping for FET later this month.

Wishing you all the luck and love in the world lovely. ❤️❤️ xxxx

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to gerifit

Thank you and good luck for your FET, fingers crossed for you! x

Corchi profile image
Corchi

so sorry that’s heartbreaking. Have you look at progesterone levels right before? Have you looked at NK killer cells? Or having intralipid? Thrombosis check ? I’ve had 8 miscarriages so … tried everything

LozR profile image
LozR in reply to Corchi

I've had none of that. The only thing they have monitored was lining - which has always been good. I'll add those things to my list to ask about at my review appointment, thank you x

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