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Fertility Network UK
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So I was just honest and the other person is upset...how does that work?

We were just talking about scary ages at work as a friend is turning 50 soon. I said mine was 40. Another lady said oh you've got plenty of time and I said that's one of the worst things people say to me. She's now upset so I apologised for being snappy and explained I am an infertile. Then she just said right thank you, looked at her computer and carried on with her work. Why do I now feel really horrible? Is it too much to expect someone in that situation to say I'm really sorry to hear that? xxx

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Wow, she sounds a bit harsh. How old is she out of interest? You'd think after you apologised and told her you were infertile, she'd chill out. Perhaps she is embarrassed? Or still a bit upset? Or a bit of a bi*ch.. one of the 3, sorry to say it.

Sorry to hear that.. does she have children? You'd think she'd have empathy with what you just told her, and get over it.

Just be short with her back.. it's called matching behaviour and i now do that to people who are rude to me. I used to always just be nice, but it doesn't work... sadly.. xxx

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well I'm not saying I'm not nice, mainly.. but if someone is rude, i'd always still be nice back.. but I've grown out of that a bit..

She's not important, she clearly has no empathy, so just be polite and keep her at a distance. She isn't worth your worry or stress xxxx

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Maybe she meant time to live or climb Kilimanjaro in general rather than anything child related.

As for the thank you maybe she's having fertility issues herself?

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Emmab my first thought was that maybe she has infertility issues too or maybe she's pregnant?

If it was neither of the above then she was just plain out of order! Not what you wanted at the end of term! 🙁 xx

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No she has teenage children and is late 40s so definitely not fertility issues. Maybe it was just that she didn't know what to say. xxx

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I think she probably has no idea what to say. Hopefully you are back on track now.

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Who knows what her motivations are. You could agonise for hours and still get it wrong. It's hard to know the thought processes of others. If she's someone who you are close to or who you care about a lot then is it worth exploring a conversation with her about it. If not, please try to forget it. I know easier said than done but for your own sake, you've got enough on your plate without worrying about this woman's feelings. I hope you enjoy your weekend xx

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Thanks! This is exactly what I need to do! Thanks for talking some sense into me! You're right. I don't need to worry about what other people think. Thanks Hun. x

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She was probably embarrassed. People don't always react as we would like. I suppose they want to be encouraging but don't realise they are putting their foot in it. Xx

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It may be she'll reflect and say something in future. She probably was a bit embarrassed and didn't know what to say. But if not no need to give her your time or thoughts or kindness. Life is too short to give our energy to people who are self centred xx

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So true! Right I'll get over it and move on! Thanks! x

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I know it sounds a bit cut throat but you can't control how other people feel. You also can't help feeling the way you feel, you were being honest, sometimes that can be quite disarming for people who have never gone down this path. My feeling is in this situation that it's her issue. You have apologised for any upset and it's her choice to accept that or not. Walk away from the people that won't or can't give you what you need. You deserve better than that. (Sorry if I'm blunt I'm stimming at the moment and my hormones are haywire!) 😘😘😘

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No I need people to tell me how it is. I'm grateful for honest responses. Thanks. x

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Hello chickadee! You haven't done or said anything wrong the issues lie with her, honestly try not to worry about the people that aren't supporting you or your emotional needs. Selfish altruism! Take care of yourself and your heart pudding 😘😘

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She sounded really harsh, however as the others have said this process is so hard and challenging as it is the last thing you need is to add stress and pressure to yourself because of someone else's comments and behaviour.

Focus on you Hun, take care x

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Thank you. x

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