Treatment and work: how much should I tell them?

[luce_26]

Hi, so I had my first clinic appointment on Wednesday. It went well, sounded positive, though my specialist thinks I have pcos and endo has already been mentioned. I'm booked in for a HyCoSy on 9th September then, all being well, I will start Clomid on my next cycle.

The problem I'm having is wondering how much I tell my work. Should I just use holiday for trips to the clinic or should I say that I'm going to the hospital? If I end up having a lap I surely won't be using my holiday for that. I've had a look and nowhere in the policy does it say anything about time off for fertility treatment. I don't work flexi hours so it's going to be disruptive for work and I can't change my hours to suit. Any advice, how have you handled it?

Thanks

[Hidden]

It's your decision and if you don't feel comfortable just say it's appointments of a personal nature.I have told my line manager and she's been great, told me I am entitled to time off for appointments and has been really supportive x

[Blondyboo]

I told my work and found it a lot easier since they know. All have been really supportive. We are a small office so that helps but I get paid for all appointments I need and I will be having a weekly meeting with my manager to see how I'm coping with work once treatment starts. If I start struggling emotionally she said to just not come in! I'm very lucky they are being so great but I was fretting weather to tell them but it's the best thing I did for me xx

[Hopeful1982]

Hello luce_26, it's a tough one and really down to how you feel. I personally wanted to keep it private so just said I was having some investigations done and would have a few hospital appointments. When it came to having IVF I just said I was going in for a procedure. My work didn't ask any more questions. I did ask the hospital if my appointments could be early morning to try and limit my time out of the office. Good luck! x

[Katm123]

I told my employer everything, and they were great, I know everyones different but it relieved alot of stress for me. I just thought if it was one of my team, would I want to know - yes I really would so I told them (also I'm not good with big secrets). My immediate line manager and I have a great relationship, when my drugs arrived I could nominate myself and one other signatory. She was it, and it was her that signed for them!!! Her moral support on the good and bad days was such a great support, she saw me at my best and worst, and I even managed a promotion while all this was going on!

Because it was right for me doesn't mean it will be right for you, but it is a heck of a journey to keep under wraps and you might need your holiday to take a holiday.

Hope you come to a decision that works for you, good luck.xxx

[luce_26]

Hi all, thank you for sharing your experiences.

I have a really good relationship with my manager so I think I would feel pretty awful if I lied to her. I work as part of a very small team and we're sort of front of house in a university so it is going to make things tricky. One of our tiny team had two and a half weeks off for compassionate leave early this year but that was due to HR policy, though there's a level of compassion, I don't think this will be treated in the same way. I'm also studying in my spare time (which work are paying for) so I'm feeling the pressure.

At the moment we're not looking at ivf so I'm hoping the treatment I have won't be too disruptive.

If my manager isn't too busy I'll talk to her today. I need to let her know about 9th September anyway when I'll need to leave by 11:30 and won't be back in the afternoon.

Glad to know you've all had such good experiences and your managers have been so supportive.

Thanks,

Luce

[Starstellar7]

Say it's for pain rather than fertility if you have a lap. Then its covered and you don't have to tell them everything in one go. It's a process and a lap may help with fertility/give answers for you. Good luck.

[smallcat]

You will be entitled to paid time off for hospital apps so can use that. I haven't told my work anything for the first cycle, but I get time off for doctors apps if I need it so will use that excuse during the next part. I didn't want people at work to know anything about it, but I might tell my boss confidentially if I really think I will need more days off.

Best wishes, xxx

[luce_26]

Hi ladies,

I told my manager this morning. I was totally honest, said i was having some investigations done at the hospital, my manager's lovely and was concerned so I said it was to do with fertility then she told me she's been through it all herself. She told me that she had ivf and she has endo, that of course what I told her won't go any further, and that if I want someone to talk to who understands her door is always open. Time off is not a problem and we can work it out. So relieved and so so glad that I just decided to tell her. I didn't actually know anyone that's been through it so it's great to know I can talk to her if I need to.

Thanks again, you've all been really helpful.

Luce

[Katm123 in reply to luce_26]

Excellent news, I'm sure this will make everything easier to work around.xxx