Why is ttc so easy for some and so hard for others???

[lau_har1]

I'm feeling in limbo.. I done a pregnancy test last week which showed as 2-3 weeks pregnant (natural). For the last 2 days I've had quite a bit of discomfort around what feels like my left ovary/lower abdomen.. I have been to EPU this morning who done a preg test, which again was positive, and as it's too early to do an internal I have had to have a BETA blood test. They will call me with the results. I'm really blooming praying that everything is ok, but I can't help and feel all the signs are there for it to be an ectopic pregnancy.. for some people ttc is such an easy journey, well not for me! Two previous mc's, about to start IVF and now this... sorry, just needed somewhere to vent where people will understand how hard ttc is x

[E_05]

I totally understand this, I often feel so jealous of people that 'aren't trying' and 'it just happens'. When I'm trying so desperately hard would give up anything I'm asked to and it's still not happening.

Keeping everything crossed for you that this time your BFP will be it for you, I know it's hard but try to keep positive xx

[lau_har1 in reply to E_05]

It makes you feel guilty doesn't it, for feeling jealous but it's just an emotion you can't control. I look at everyone around me who have had babies and have been absolutely fine. My sister has three wonderful girls, no problems. My friend has three lovely children and again no problems. A few other friends all have children and again no problems.

Sometimes I get upset and think 'why me, why do I have to go through all of this when so many others don't', but then I feel bad for feeling like that as I wouldn't want anyone to go through the heartache of ttc. The heartache of every new pregnancy announcement you see on social media. The heartache of having miscarriages or worries about ttc. The heartache of there actually being no reason why it goes wrong, but it just does or why it does not happen.

I should think myself lucky that although it never has been plain sailing for me, I have had (well now 3) positive tests and some women go through life without having any.

Just got to think that when it's meant to be, it will be. X

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to lau_har1]

Hi lau_har1. So sorry to hear that you are having such an awful, anxious time right now. i'm just hoping that the Beta hCG comes back OK. There could be a number of reasons for your pain, so hopefully it is nothing sinister. Just look after you for now, and be careful who you spend your time with until you know properly what is going on. Keeping everything crossed for you of course, and I am thinking of you. Diane

[lau_har1 in reply to DianeArnold]

Thank you for your lovely reply!! X

[E_05 in reply to lau_har1]

It sure does, I'm exactly the same - both my brothers have children and neither of them grew up wanting children (they love them and wouldn't he without them now) but having a family is all I've ever wanted and for some reason it feels like the more you want it the harder it is.

I know I wouldn't wish this journey on my worst nightmare, one thing I've always said is it's made me realise what an amazing marriage I have and il never question the strength my husband and I share. It's also shown me who really cares about us. I really struggle with pregnancy announcement some people say it doesn't bother them but I feel like it's another chunk out of me.

You've been through so much already, I really hope this time is it for you 🤞x

[lau_har1 in reply to E_05]

It's so nice to hear positive things, like how amazing your marriage is, when everything else can feel so hard and against you.

I feel so fortunate because my partner has been amazing every single step of the way whilst we have been ttc, through the ups and the downs. Sometimes it's easy to think it's just happening to 'us women' but they really do go through it as well don't they. I never knew just how much I would emotionally and physically need him until we started this journey together. He makes me smile when I feel like I will never smile again, he makes me laugh when I feel like I never want to find anything funny again, but most of all he is completely 100% there for me in every single way... even if, god forbid, it just ends up as us two; well that's a lot more than what some people have.

Hopefully all of us ladies who struggle for a lovely little family, will have that one day and when we do, it will mean more than any word could describe. X

[E_05 in reply to lau_har1]

That's so lovely, it's good he's so supportive. Yeah your definitely right people under estimate how hard it is for the man, when I miscarried last year everyone was asking my husband how I was doing when he was struggling just as much. Have you had your blood test results yet? Xx

[lau_har1 in reply to E_05]

Nope, have not heard yet. If I don't hear from them before 2pm, then I will call them. The pain from my ovary/tummy has gone now, but I have had a bit of fresh bleeding this morning.

Just want to know what is going on and if it is bad news, then do I call my fertility clinic to tell them everything that has happened (I haven't informed them about the positive test yet) x

[E_05 in reply to lau_har1]

What an anxious wait for you, I'm glad the pain has gone and I have read women bleed and still BFP so try to keep positive.

I don't blame you for not informing them yet, like you say better to be able to tell them all what's happening. You'll have to let me know the results 🤞x

[Alice_W123]

Yep. I can understand it.

But each case has own complications.

Some have normal pregnancy and labor but trouble with kids itself.

And visa versa.

Try to think this way and stay strong.

Hope your next time will be lucky

P.S.: as mine too...