1st Icsi struggling with feeling nega... - Fertility Network UK

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1st Icsi struggling with feeling negative

Bibble-2016
Bibble-2016

Hi everyone,

Am on my first icsi cycle, went for scan yesterday to check if I'm ready for stimulation, which I was and started the menopur. When nurse scanned ovaries she was a little surprised by low follicles she could see and asked how old I was and what dose of menopur? She never mentioned it again just proceeded with injection teach. I asked if my follicles were low and she said "no we've got enough to work with". I don't know if she was just glossing over that as I had been talking about how stressed and anxious I'd been in the two years ttc.

I'm now in full blown meltdown thinking this is never going to work. Ever. Real doldrums and struggling to get any positivity. How have you all kept going and stayed with some hope? I feel like I'm totally jumping the gun but just finding this all so hard. Thank you for you time and energy reading and supporting. This forum has helped me in my darkest times. Xx

13 Replies
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Hiya, this process is the most difficult thing ive ever had to deal with, but i will say from reading so many ladies stories is that everyone is different. It does only take one little embie to be that miracle so low follicles does not mean low success. Try to stay positive and good luck 😀xx

Thank you. It means a lot for you to take the time to reply. It is helping me calm down a bit 😊 X

Hidden
Hidden

Try not to worry. I'm not convinced they can see everything on the ultrasound and they always struggle to find my ovaries! It is quality over quantity. This is my story so far which will hopefully give you a little hope and more positivity. I don't know what I had on my first baseline scan as she only mentioned my lining but on the second scan I only had three follicles. By the third and final scan I had six. One was 25mm and they thought that would over mature and two were only 6mm so they were written off. That left us with 3 at best. I had egg collection on Wednesday and we got four eggs and overnight three fertilised so we have done amazingly well with the few we had. I'm due to have egg transfer tomorrow so fingers crossed but it only takes one. I was quite negative until my second scan but the news just keeps getting better so try to stay positive x

Bibble-2016
Bibble-2016 in reply to Hidden

Good luck for your transfer. And well done for getting through all this. I think we are amazing for taking this challenge on. Am feeling more relieved now. It's all just so uncertain isn't it. Ah well. Good luck again xx

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Bibble-2016

Yes it is and sometime you're excited and positive and sometimes feel really low and negative. It is very difficult and you just have to keep thinking I've got this far and this is the best chance we have ever had. They can change your dosage if they need to but I was really surprised how much things change between each scan. Just take each little step on its own and tick it off when you achieve each milestone 😀 x

Don`t worry.

All should be fine.

It`d be enough for docs to start with.

Nurse asked that question only to correct your dose.

Thank you. The rational part of my mind knows if there were problems she wouldn't have sailed on with the appointment as she did. Thank you.

So hard not to worry at every stage. The others are right whatever they see at the beginning isn't necessarily all that is there. Some can be hidden until they are bigger but even if there are only a few it does only take one. I remember thinking everyone else was getting loads and I only had a few and never ever got anything to freeze, just two good enough to implant (only 1 on the first cycle) but after 3 rounds we have our BFP!

Have faith, if there was literally nothing there they wouldn't let you go through with it so there must be enough.

Good Luck for your treatment x

Well done on your positive!! And thank you for giving me your time to give me some hope! X

DianeArnold
DianeArnoldAdministrator

Hi Bibble-2016. You're just at the beginning of your stimulation part of your cycle, so plenty of time for follicle growth. Keeping everything crossed for you that you have a good response. Thinking of you. Diane

Thank you Diane, it's exhausting isn't it! Feels like a Gladiators final getting through all the stages and challenges !! X

Hey, I am so sorry you are feeling like this, we are all here for you. I know you may have heard people say this "it only takes one little emby" and you will think yeah right, but I am that person where it took just one. I had a really smooth 1st cycle, had 10 follicles and 8 mature eggs and thought brilliant all sorted there will be lots to choose from. Then the day after egg collection I got the call to tell me how many had fertilized and found out that only 1 out of the 8 had. I was devastated and thought well thats it for round one, the chances of this working are slim at best. But do you know what, each day I got the phone call to say Emby was doing well and continuing to grow. My goal posts changed at all became about this one. By day 4 it was still all good. We had planned to have PGS as I am 44 but it became so precious that we didn't want to risk the freeze so on day 5 it became a blastocyst and I had the transfer. That was 2 weeks ago and I now have a BFP!!! I want you to know that it really is not about quantity, it is all about the quality. You need to stay strong and remember that we are all here for you. Look after yourself, get lots of rest and drink lots of water xxxx

That's made me cry (happy tears). Well done you. There is hope!!! ❤️ Xxx

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