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Fertility Network UK
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Breakdown literally

So...the car didn't start this morning. I could feel tears bubbling under the surface of my eyes when I woke up this morning. Currently completely overwhelmed. Can't talk to my husband as a few weeks ago he was refusing to spend anytime at home after having got so sick and tired of talking to me about the baby issue.

So the car broke down and he gave me a massive lecture about not parking under a tree which has most likely clogged the airflow filter. This just made me cry and cry.

I'm supposed to maintain a healthy weight so I can start IVF in August but I find myself eating crap.

Three and a half weeks till the summer break now. Don't know if I should have a holiday or if I should just run away.

Feeling exhausted and can't see good in any thing.

7 Replies

Only about to send quick reply but sorry u have had an awful morning and feeling so rubbish.

I can relate to lots of things you have said. Here if u want to message :-) x

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And love your pic!


I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Fertility issues/treatment are hard and unfair. Your other half also sounds like he is finding things tricky too. A lecture about where you parked wasn't helpful, it might have been more useful if he'd mentioned it politely a few weeks ago! Does your clinic offer counselling? I felt really overwhelmed before our first round of ICSI. You might need some time off work if you are really completely overwhelmed to get yourself ready physically and emotionally for the treatment. Unless being at home is going to cause you more angst. You could self certify for 7 days. I felt much better once the treatment started.

You may also need to talk to your OH or write a letter saying that you need his support as you are feeling overwhelmed/anxious about the treatment and that your way of dealing with this is to talk. Men tend to deal with emotions differently to us women, I still have to remind my hubby that I just need to say it out loud and I don't need him to fix it.


Sorry your feeling so low, this journey really does take its toll! Does your clinic offer counselling? After our 3rd cycle my husband really took the brunt of it and if I'm honest it didn't matter what he said in my eyes it wasn't the right thing. I spoke to a counsellor and then found this forum which has really helped me, I realised he was struggling just as much but always trying to be strong for me. I think when there's so much pressure you end up falling out over what are normally the smallest things.

Maybe a break away for you both would be good x


You need rest, that's all.

In case of car - what did you mean about "massive lecture"?

Also I`m worrying about "I find myself eating crap".

Perhaps you both need to visit family psychologist.


I'm sorry you're feeling down and infertility is heartbreaking condition to have. I agree with others,- maybe find nice things for you to do together. Infertility can really put a pressure on you and it's no wonder sometimes we have to let it out. Bad days are horrible but they don't last forever. And tomorrow is a new day. Hope you feel better soon. xoxo


hi, I'm sorry your feeling this way.

I remember all to well that feeling of hopelesness.

I find myself perplexed by one of the responses on this thread. The last thing you need is a unsympathetic abrasive ' piece of advice'

men are rubbish at communication at the best of times. My husband was a total Closed book when we were undergoing fertility treatment. Until every now and then he would have a night off from the regiment of healthy eating and no drinking and it all poured out. He would snap over the most trivial things - much like the situation with your car. Infertility magnifies even the smallest of things. Fertility treatment is like a pressure cooker. Men cope very differently especially if the inferility involves them. It almost destroyed us, to a point where we stopped treatment.

food was my coping mechanism, I don't need a psychologist to tell me that, were human beings.. Not robots. Your husband copes in his own ways, sounds very much like the way mine did.

your not alone sweetheart. Even though it feels like such a lonely place right now. I made some great friends on here through the six years we were ttc. Typed through the tears. we all know how your feeling, your in the thick of it now. It's so bloody hard.

try and do something nice for yourself, and hubby, me and lee used to agree nights where we wouldn't talk about anything baby related have some nice food and a glass of wine. try to create a balance even though you might feel like throttling him! try to reconnect a little bit.

were all here with our virtual ears and hugs ❤❤❤❤

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