Pain of infertility

I've been through the mill the last four years - I had a miscarriage, then was diagnosed with endometriosis. I had two laporoscopies in the following two years. I've tried IVF and nothing has worked. Honestly I feel depressed a lot of the time, a low level depression but a lot of the joy has gone from my life. Nature was cruel in that after I miscarried I was very depressed and then had an overwhelming need to have a baby. It's so much stronger than before the miscarriage. I feel angry, lethargic, overwhelmed and really sad in waves. Honestly I'm getting tired of feeling this way, it's hard for my husband to see too.

12 Replies

  • Hunny, I am so sorry you have gone through so much. Reading your post reminds me of me. I feel exactly how you feel so please don't feel like your alone. I have now had 4 failed treatments and suffer from endromesosis. I want a baby and it's so hard seeing my husband be sad aswell x

  • Thanks NDE1987. It's so difficult to stay hopeful isn't it? My husband thinks that everyone forgets that he's sad too. Here's hoping for both of us! A colleague of mine had her miracle baby on the 7th IVF attempt! It's hard when everyone around me is having babies, two colleagues at work have had 3 babies each since I've been trying .. but hey on the good days I just keep as positive as I can.

  • It's is very hard Hun as we don't know is what the future holds. I wish I had a crystal ball!! I think men find it hard to talk to other men, or I should say there isn't a men forum like we have this one. Although men are welcome on this site it is mostly women!! Around me all my friends and cousins are having kids!! It was my test day today for my second ivf cycle and it was a negative, later in the day a good friend of mine sent a baby pic of her new born son that was born today. I wanted to I did lol. Its good to get emotions out. Happy to talk whenever you want. Xx

  • So sorry for you loss and that your feeling so low. Have you been to speak to your GP or a counsellor about how your feeling? I miscarried last year and spoke to a charity called saying goodbye they helped me loads to deal with grieving for my baby. Your definitely not alone I can relate to so many of the ways your feeling, it's such an emotionally exhausting journey x

  • I went to a miscarriage support group and had counselling after my miscarriage. I'm trying to contact an infertility support group that's local but they don't have support meetings during the summer. I'm considering counselling again though.

  • Sorry for your loss. It's such a hard thing to deal with. I really found this forum helped me talking to other ladies and also seeing I wasn't alone and humbled me what some ladies go through and come through the other side. Just believe that one day you will be that lady because you will! Your already very strong to cope with what you have. Remember anything worth having never came easy xx

  • Well if I do have my miracle baby, I will cry many happy tears!

  • Hi ladies- i just wanted to give u some hope! I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis in sept 15 after a laparoscopy, i had a failed ivf treatment in sept 16. I was desperate for a baby and tried everything i read about- i had acupuncture and went for one session of mizan therapy and i got my surprise bfp in march. I really hd given up and had already booked another ivf appt aswell as seeing an endo specialist-dont give up hope, i know how difficult it is to stay positive and ure entitled to down days but keep trying! Xx

  • I love in hope for such a miracle :)

  • I understand how u must feel I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 27 and told never have kids then had my miracle baby at age 32 then endo came back after I had him when I was 33 had aheadions removed from pouch of Douglas and endo from my womb me and my husband tried and like yourself was devastated when wasn't happening 2nd time round my husband felt bad for us both and now here I am four months pregnant with secound baby please don't give up hope it took me almost four years to fall pregnant again secound time and I'm sure it will happen for u when time is right Goodluck to u both xx

  • Unfortunately I'm quite old at this stage, 42 so my options are limited but I won't stop trying.

  • Thanks everyone for your understanding. I was having a very bad day yesterday. My work is very stressful at the moment and a close family member has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, so it all just got a bit too much for me. It's so nice to been listened to by women who know what I'm going through even if your circumstances are all a little different. I still live in hope that one day I'll have a rainbow baby :)

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