Unexplained infertility

Hi, I've never joined a group before but thought I would to feel I'm not on my own. 23 cycles in and no further forward, all tests say everything is fine but it's not happening for us. had a recent birthday which I found upsetting. I'm finding the constant disappointment each cycle a lot to deal with. I'm told to "relax" and it'll happen, but I don't feel like myself any more! I've tried everything and am trying to look after myself - but feeling quite sad about it all. Anybody else in a similar situation?

26 Replies

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  • Hey yes we've been trying for 17 months now and nothing has happened no missed periods or glimpses or hope 😞 It can really get you down, I went through a stage when I cried every month when my period came! Have you been to your gp? We went after a year and they referred us to have lots of tests which we are in the process of doing now. No idea what's wrong and why it's not happening but we get results on 5 weeks. I'm pretty new to the journey I think a lot of people on here are in the stages of ivf etc so happy to help as sounds like we are both at the stage where we don't know what is going on yet xxx

  • I've had blood tests, scans and a dye put into my Fallopian tubes to check they are not blocked. Back to hospital for results in April. So far everything looks fine, which I know is good, but no reason it's not working. Going to start looking into ivf as an option after April. Just finding the monotony of every failed cycle a bit too much now!

  • I totally know how you feel month after month....is emotionally draining and then I feel guilty for feeling so bad when others have a tougher time! I hope your results are ok!

  • Everything seemed fine for me, totally unexplained, but had a laparoscopy at month 25 and they found and treated some endometrial spots. I then got pregnant immediately. Unfortunately miscarried but I think it proves that not all the scans can show what's happening inside. If you get offered a lap, think carefully about going for it!! I recommend it!

  • Wow that's interesting that it hasn't shown up before on scans, although I'm really sorry to hear about the miscarriage 😥

  • I know two other people who've both got pregnant immediately after a lap too- one is now a mum despite the fact that she has severe endometriosis and the other lost the pregnancy like me... but I think that's just bad luck as loads of pregnancies end in MC anyway, so nothing to do with the lap.

  • Oh Robbie you are certainly not alone. I think so many of us on this site have felt what you're feeling right now.

    The emotional rollercoaster of every single cycle is real. And if my mum told me one more time to relax and it will happen I thought I'd bite her head off! She was completely well meaning but had absolutely no idea what we were going through.

    You're in the right place for support from people who really do understand. Good luck with your journey and I hope you get some good news very soon. X

  • Thank you, I've read an article on it today and it describes my feelings perfectly so I know it's common to feel like this. It's hard to discuss with friends who don't want children, already have them or have their fertility issues!

  • 'Relax' is a horrible piece of advice in this scenario. I also hate, 'it'll happen when you least expect it'

    😬

  • Hi robbie03. So sorry to hear that so far nothing is happening for you. Reassuring that all your test results are fine, but maybe it's time to be referred to a fertility clinic - or go back for a further consultation. Just want to wish you well with it all, and I know you will get plenty of support here too. Thinking of you. Diane

  • We are back to hospital in April but I know if everything is still fine, it's a waiting list for IVF until June 2018, or we might have to go private as I'm not sure I can wait quite that long!

  • Hi robbie03. I do have a list of questions you might like to look through before you go for your consultation. There just may be a couple you hadn't thought of asking. If you email me in confidence to support@fertilitynetworkuk.org I will send it to you. Diane

  • Thank you! I'll email you now!

  • Thank you for your responses and support....I already feel a bit better and a bit more positive! 💕

  • Hi I was the same as you I completely get it. We had almost 52 cycles before our little miracle happened. Some weeks and months I was fine as I have a busy life and other times I felt heart broken. I'm not sure what was the reason for success after all those years waiting but I always remained positive I would be a Mum and most of our friends supported us with the same attitude. All the best with your next steps xx

  • Wow 52, how did you get through that, I'm struggling to get acceptance that it will happen and feel I can't escape it! But great it worked for you in the end....that's the happy ending we all want! Thanks for your message! x

  • Hi Lovely

    Me and OH had been trying for 2 years almost but decided we didn't want to wait any longer. I'm 40 next year 😲We were unexplained too. Everything came back normal.My AMH levels good too for my age and partner had super swimmers 😊Just couldntsee why it hadnt happend.

    Signed up with wonderful private clinic in Nov and had treatment in Jan/Feb this year. Went for IVF with ICSI split. Clinic said they learn a lot from that.

    I had 8 eggs collected. We did a 50/50 split of IVF and ICSI. Initially they all developed but ALL IVF ones stopped growing after 3 days. All ICSI ones made it to 5day transfer of cytoblast. Had 2 transferred and 2 frozen.I'm currently 10 wks pregnant!!👌 with just one baby.

    It did give us some answers as we now know something about our eggs and sperm coulnt quite make it on their own but when ICSI was applied they had no choice but to play nicely together lol.

    I hope this has given you some hope. Please don't beat yourself up. 'Unexplained infertility' is never unexplained. There's always an underlying reason but it's difficult to find this until you start the IVF ball rolling.

    All the best mate 💕xx

  • Congratulations! I wish u well with that little miracle! It's so nice to hear that there's success and also it's happens to others. Where was your treatment if you don't mind me asking? We are looking into where to go and have no idea where to start really! Thanks so much for ur message x

  • We in South Wales using a private clinic. You anywhere near Wales?x

  • We are north of London so I guess London is our best bet - just don't know where to start. The way they did IVF and ICSI is really interesting to hear, kind of covering all bases in a way!

  • You could have a look at success rates of the various clinics in London... information is power as they say!

  • I completely understand how your feeling and could have written your post myself. This is such a stressful process and while I don't want anything to be wrong with me sometimes not knowing why I can get pregnant is just as hard as there is nothing to fix me or solve the problem. Good luck with future treatment xx

  • I feel exactly the same....no reason so keep asking why. Finding it harder and harder and latest meltdown shows I'm not coping particularly well, which me and my husband thought it might be helpful to have some different support, and I found this online. Any tips for coping with it better - I am sharing my feelings here and may start a diary just to offload too. X

  • Reading your post felt like you were reading my mind. Unexplained infertilitysux balls haha. Everyone around me at the mo whos been my ttc whinging buddies have just got pregnant. It all feels so unfair.

    I wish i hadsome advice on how to get that massive empty sadness to go away but I'm yet to find the cure. Everyday is like a rollercoaster. Of i feel fine i can do this rolling into why me what have i ever done wrong then into extreme jealousy and anger then just plain feeling sorry for myself.

    If you ever need to talk feel free to msg me. I hate there is so many of us going through this but the support here is amazing. And the bfp i see always give me a lil glimmer of hope.

    Guess we just have to wait our turn 😔

    We've only been doing super ovulation hormone treatment with no success. Nxt step is ivf. Which we will hopefully go to the clinic in may. I'm on the waitlist for public but thats not til Nov so trying to pay off debt first before attempting private. So frustrating. I think even more so living in a world where we can generally get what we want when we want it. Now this is the only thing i want and it feels so out of reach.

  • Sorry for delay in replying!! In totally same position as you, it's so hard isn't it. I know I should keep the faith but it feels like it'll never happen to me. However know I should try and keep the goal in sight. Thanks for your message, you and the others on here have turned me round from a very bad week (period, birthday and v low) to much brighter. I'm also here to support too. Thanks 😘

  • hi girls I have the same situation. it began at the ahe of 30 I was thinking about my procreation. and then a year later we understood that we couldn't have a baby. i thought it is because of my mental health and that's not less important. in my chilhood I had problems with my mother, she was always shouting at me and it affected. nevertheless ovulation occurs regularly, hormons are good... i had IVF done for 3 times but no results. what do you think do we need somethinh bigger? donation ?

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