Adoption or Egg Donation?: So we have... - Fertility Network UK

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Adoption or Egg Donation?

Dreamer0204 profile image
8 Replies

So we have officially come to the end of our fertility treatment so we have to think of other areas if we want a family

Our choices like many people are either adoption or egg donor I'm torn between the 2 at the moment.

Anyone else got to this point. What route did you choose? Was it the right one?

Thxs

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Dreamer0204 profile image
Dreamer0204
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8 Replies

We got to this exact point and chose DE route, first try failed so about to start 2nd try with DE, our plan is use all our Frosties up then if no luck move on to adoption. We have already started looking into and gathering info, most adoption agencies want you at least 6 months clear of IVF but some will look at it case by case xxx

emu2016 profile image
emu2016

Hello, I share the same route as Button in that I opted for Egg Donation over adoption.

I knew before I started a cycle with my own eggs that there was less than a 2% chance of it working; but I had to try. I remember sobbing to my husband in Costa Coffee that "we couldn't have children" after we were told it was unlikely I'd be able to have a baby with my own eggs... he replied "we can still have children, and a family...just not the route we thought." and so began the chats about adoption or egg donation.

When our IVF didn't work we knew egg donation would be next. I guess what confirmed it for us both was that I wanted to try and have a baby that was 50% us more than not try at all. And with egg donation you do still get to carry the baby which was also important.

We would adopt if our egg donation cycle/s didn't work and it was what we both wanted. I still have a little sad feeling for my genes and not passing them on but completely excited/nervous/hopeful about this cycle. I'm about half way through our egg donation IVF cycle at the moment.

There aren't many of us on here in the stage of egg donation... but we're all a lovely helpful bunch... I probably wouldn't have got to this point without some of them xx

pm27 profile image
pm27

We used DE for our 3rd Round of ICSI as I was over 40 and despite good AMH the doctors thought egg quality might be an issue. I found the idea of DE difficult to get my head round and I needed a few months to think about it. I found The Donor Conception website helpful. We were given 40% chance of success. We only got 3 mature eggs from an egg sharing donor from 7 collected, which I was disappointed with. Unfortunately we got our 3rd and final BFN and have ceased treatment. I couldn't face any mote tests or disappointments. Adoption isn't for us so we've reached the end if our journey. DE give a much better success rate but there are no guarantees.

I wish you all the best with whatever you choose.

victory75 profile image
victory75

I also chose donation route. After 2 failed ivf on my own and hyperstimulation I wanted to try one more time on donor's eggs. Honestly, I didn't think about adoption...for me it's a difficult decision. One can consider myself selfish but I would like my child to have at least a part of my husband's genes.

On the other hand I admire those people who makes up their mind to adopt children and bring them home, family, care and love.

You should be prepared mentally for adoption and be ready to face paper issues.

nicknick profile image
nicknick

Hi, I have no personal experiences, but a few friends of mine solved their infertility problems by undergoing ivf with pgs ngs, ivf with de in Poland Gdansk and Czech rep, and also by adoption. In each case it has been individual decision and approach, and they have been happy to become parents.

Dreamer0204 profile image
Dreamer0204

Thank you all for you comments lots of food for thought ... going to give myself a few weeks to get over the disappointment of not being able to have our own child and then start to investigate further.

Just to throw another spanner in the works we currently don't live in the UK so egg donor and adoption is illegal where we are. Don't seem to make life simple for ourselves

Xxx

katya38 profile image
katya38

Hi we ended up on this situation. I had only failed icsi cycle and our only option after that was donor eggs. I've always wanted to adopt but found it relatively easy to make that choice. It is 100 percent the right decision for us but everyone is different. We didn't have to wait 6 months after treatment we were lucky. Just finished our training xx

72cloud9 profile image
72cloud9

I will follow your journey with interest.we have 1 frozen embie left but in all honesty I am not expecting a positive outcome from it. My OH is currently feeling that he can't try any more after this go but when I said I think we should look at DE the other day, it wasn't a complete no.he sadly won't discuss adoption as for me that would have been my choice rather than any IVF at all x

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