Sat in feeling miserable

[Bec-A]

So I'm sat in this evening by myself treating myself to just 1 glass of wine while all my friends are out. I've become the person that makes up excuses not to see them because all we do when we catch up is go to the pub and I'm trying not to drink too much. Anyone else had these issues? Wish I could go and see friends and drink but I know I'd stress about it all month after I did it, maybe if I hadn't got drunk I'd be pregnant etc. Any advice from people in same boat would be appreciated 😀

[Hidden]

Yes can totally relate to this it's just so sad that it's seems to be an issue if you don't drink on a night out and if you dont you must be pregnant. I try and avoid social situations sometimes because i just find it easier that way. Just last sat I was out for lunch and drinking water and a friend asked out right in front of 5 friends if I was pregnant 😳 just because i chose water, i could have died if only she knew and only one person had a glass of wine so don't know why she asked me. Anyway all very frustrating but we have to give ourselves the best chance and when it's all over we will appreciate all these little things so much more so hang in there xxx

[emmab178]

Oh yes. Whilst on the run up to ivf I stopped drinking completely. Went out for work and they were harassing me to drink. It got so bad I ordered a fancy g and t for everyone and asked for a tonic for me to look the same so they thought I was drinking! (Had fancy rosemary and cranberrys in!)

I found myself lying a lot which really isn't fair. I'm on antibiotics, health kick, dry January, diet etc. I've only been an odd social drinker here and there as slimming world points are better spent elsewhere!

I'm lucky that my male colleagues are clueless and wouldn't put two and two together that I've given up caffeine and booze and asked if I was pregnant!

Can you steer them towards a meal or cinema or be the one that's driving on a night out?

[Hidden in reply to emmab178]

I'm the same as you Emma, any excuse! It was dry January, then "I'll see how long I can keep it going", now it's lent. Not sure what I'll do after Easter but I'm not letting this make me miss out on social events.

I'm definitely trying your fake g&t idea at some point! 😉

[emmab178 in reply to Hidden]

Just got to be careful when it's not your round lol. We can't even drink coke due to the caffeine so can't pretend it's rum and coke.

I've known a few alcoholics so I lost the attraction to drink quite a while ago. Also living in other countries where they don't just hammer the booze down gives me a different perspective. I think I'm getting old lol.

I don't like being around drunk people when sober too much as they end up shouting which I find really annoying so I usually go home early if not drinking. Yep I'm definitely getting old.

[72cloud9]

I've been drinking a bit too much these last few weeks and I'm plagued with guilt that I'm hampering my chances so well done u for sticking to your guns!!

Maybe u could suggest a 'different' kind of night out to your friends where drink doesn't need to be the focus like the pictures or bowling or go for a meal somewhere where it's easier for someone to drive & u be the volunteer so Good reason not to drink? Xxx

[kirdrew]

Please look at my post always hope. Xxxx

[aimzeliza]

I am starting to re-think my own alcohol intake a bit more now. I've failed 4 rounds of clomid thus far and if I'm honest with myself, I have not really done much to change my lifestyle though I know I should. I find it so hard to sit with friends and not drink but I guess this is something I will have to prepare for if I ever do fall pregnant.

I have a small social circle and one of us is pregnant so she now tends to avoid social events altogether because most of them involve alcohol. The thought of becoming a hermit like that does not appeal to me at all because I love company and the time I spend with my friends has been invaluable throughout this whole process so far. I need laughter and to just be silly! It's such a tricky place to be in because I know the drinking cannot be good for me but I know I would not manage well without my friends keeping my spirits up. Not the alcoholic kind of course.

I think a conversation needs to be had with my friends really. I'm sure they will support me if I ask them if we can do non-alcoholic activities together! It has to be me that leads it I guess. I like the idea of being clever with non-boozy drinks though and poshing up a soft drink. I hope you can come to a happy solution with your friends too and of course wishing you all the best on your own baby mission.

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to aimzeliza]

I gave up drinking much a while back because the hangovers got too bad. I decided I would only ever drink one. This was long before fertility was an issue. I found I just had to tell most people once, then I just stuck to my guns and soon people began to appreciate having a designated driver around! Most people now haven't even noticed that I've stopped completely. To be honest, I miss a cup of caffeinated tea much more! I do find it harder to stay out late, and I don't really enjoy the end of the night when everyone else is drunk, but on the whole I'd say you get used to not drinking, and if you really want to feel like you are, most pubs stock a non-alcoholic lager which feels like you're at least drinking something you wouldn't have at home xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Ps surely in your case you could suggest some non-drinking nights out to everyone so that your pregnant friend can be included? She might like to stop being a hermit and if you don't want to tell everyone then she can be your perfect excuse at the moment!

[Pandash]

I decided that I didn't want to keep my treatment a secret among my immediate circle of friends - I told them all and I honestly think it was probably the best decision I made so far. They've really been supportive and there for me - sometimes even when my actual family weren't. If you don't want to tell them, drive to them if you can. Then you've always got 'oh, I can't drink, I'm driving!'