Fertility Network UK
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Devastated

Our 8 week scan this morning revealed that our baby stopped growing probably soon after our 6 week scan. There was no heartbeat today. Words can't even cover how I'm feeling

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Oh no..I am so so sorry to read this.I can't imagine how you are feeling. My heart bleeds for you both..sending so much love xxxx

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I am so sorry to hear this my heart goes out to you. Look after yourselves xxx

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Ohh tugs I'm so sorry to hear this, sending you a massive hug. This journey is so unbelievably cruel sometimes xxxxx

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I'm really really sorry to read this, sending lots of love to you and your partner xxx

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I'm so sorry. This happened to me in January and it was the most awful experience. Please look after yourself xx

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Tugsgirl I can't believe I'm reading this! You're in my thoughts, I'm heartbroken for you xx

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I'm so very sorry. Sadly I know what you're going through.

It's 3 weeks since I miscarried and as well as grieving I'm suffering terribly with a flare up of my endometriosis currently awaiting surgery and back in a medical menopause.

Please take plenty of time for yourself. Know I am thinking of you at this most difficult time x

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My heart is breaking for you! I don't know why these dreadful, awful things happen...I'll never understand :(

Sending lots of love to you both xx

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I am so sorry!! What awful news. Thinking of you! X

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Heartbroken for you. This journey is so cruel. I'm so so sorry xxx

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Tugsgirl I'm so sorry thinking of you xx

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So so sorry sending hugs xxxx

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Oh I am so sorry to read this!! There are words for how unbelievable cruel this world is! Sending all my love and hugs xx

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I'm so sorry this has happened to you, this is beyond awful. I'm thinking of you.

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Oh no..I am so so sorry to read this.I can't imagine how you are feeling. My heart bleeds for you both..sending u huge hugs xx

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I'm so sorry to read this. Take time out, be kind to yourself and take comfort in each other. Xx

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There r no words to take ur pain away . Plz hold on to d little faith fairy 😘😘

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Oh no tugs girl I am so so sorry this is so heartbreaking for you . Life is cruel. Take care and thinking of you xx

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Hun I'm so sorry to read this. Was waiting for a message to see how you got on. Take some time out xxx

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It was too good to be true. I truly hope you have better luck than me x

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I feel so angry and upset for you, i am so sorry on your news. I cant even begin to imagine how empty you must be feeling, it is absolutely heart breaking, your and your partner are in my thoughts. Xx

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I'm so so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you. Xx

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So, so sorry to read this. Take care of yourself at the difficult time. Thinking of you xxxx

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Hi Tugsgirl. Nothing really I can say, except I am so sorry to read this. You have been a continuous support to so many of the girls on this site, and I'm sure they will be right there with you as you try and come to terms with what has happened. I hope you receive all the support that you so deserve. Thinking of you. Diane

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They think it's a missed miscarriage and that the placenta is still causing me to have symptoms and positive tests. I'm not in pain or bleeding. I'm going to the hospital Wednesday morning..

Will it hurt DianeArnold? When my baby passes? X

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Hi Tugsgirl. You will probably have some pain, but if your little one doesn't loosen and come away on its own, they will wait for it to happen naturally if possible, so will wait a bit. If nothing happens, then they may want to do a D & C . They will scan you to see whether there is anything still there, then make a decision as to what will be best and easiest for you. Whatever happens or is decided, I do hope it goes smoothly for you. I shall be thinking of you on Wednesday, and do let me know how it goes if you can. Diane

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Why have the clinic asked me to keep taking my progesterone until Wednesday? What if I just stop today? I don't see the point X

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Hi Tugsgirl. Keep using the progesterone pessaries as instructed. It's not over till it's over, so it needs to be properly confirmed one way or another with a scan. They will then decide what type of miscarriage it will be. Sending you a gentle hug. Diane

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I'm so sorry Tugs. This is absolutely heartbreaking 😥 sending love your way. Take care xxxxxx

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I am so sorry Tugsgirl . . .I can't imagine what you're going through, make sure you take the time to grieve, then once everything is clear in your head, you can take the next step in this journey, whatever that may be . .big hugs x

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I'm new to this forum but just wanted to say how sorry I am. I've read your previous posts and the same thing happened to me last year. I had brown bleeding and was taken in for a scan where I was told everything looked great and found a heartbeat and then two weeks later the bleeding turned red and a further scan showed no heartbeat. The emotional roller coaster is awful, from the elation hearing the heartbeat to the total devastation. No words can help but you're not on your own xx

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I'm having a missed miscarriage so no bleeding, no pain. Still nauseous. Still have my symptoms but it's the placenta causing it, not the baby. I have a hospital appointment on Wednesday morning where they will advise what happens next..

It's my birthday tomorrow. Happy birthday to me

X

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I had a missed miscarriage too. I'm not sure if you have experience of this so apologise if you do. I ended up having surgical evacuation which I throughly regret as I am waiting to find out next week how bad the scarring is as a result of it. I'm sure I was just one of the unlucky ones but I wish I'd let things take their course naturally x

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I am so so sorry 😞 Take care of yourselves. Xx

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Oh no....I am so sorry to hear this. What devastating news...My thoughts are with you. Hugs xx

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Oh god tugsgirl, I am beyond sorry that you have had to go through this. It's the cruelest thing to experience.

I send you thoughts of strength and prayers for better days to come.

I know it never feels like it at the time but you will move into a better place from this sadness and become ready to fight again but for now take time for both of you to nurture each other to grieve and heal together.

Big love and hugs to you. Always here if you want to talk xxxxx

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Oh god I'm so sorry to read this 😢 my thoughts are with you, life can be horrendous, and I hope you're being kind to yourself, and being well looked after xxxxxxx

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Oh I'm so sorry to hear this, absolutely heart breaking!! Sending you massive hugs!!xxx

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I am so very sorry to read your sad news 😢 life can be so cruel. Sending you lots of love and hugs Xxx ❤❤

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So sorry for you 😔💜 sending lots of thoughts and prayers xx

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Oh tugsgirl I am really sorry to hear your devastating news. I can't even begin to imagine what you are both going through.No advice-just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. X

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I'm so sorry tugsgirl, please be kind to yourself xxx

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I'm so sorry to hear this awful news 😔 my heart breaks for you! thoughts are with you at this tough time x

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Oh no.... I'm so sorry to read this... My heart truly goes out to you! Please be strong although it is not easy to be at this very moment.

Lots of hugs! xxx

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Oh my darling, I am so sorry to hear this. Take time to care for each other following your devastating news. Miscarriage is cruel and heartbreaking, huge gentle hugs to you both xxxxxxx

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So so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you today xx

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Sooo very sorrry thinking of you babe.xxxxxxxxxx

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Oh no I'm devastated to read this Hun!!!! I cannot even remotely express how sorry I am and how much I'd like to be able to say or do something to make you better. Similar happened to me last year, and it took just over two weeks for me to start bleeding. I was further on than you are so I'd imagine that the actual miscarriage will be physically easier for you, but discuss and evaluate the options carefully. For the mental healing.. it will involve the entire human spectrum of emotions from one extreme to another, pm any time if you need an ear and a virtual shoulder. Lots of love and hugs, thinking of you xoxo

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Thank you Nesfin x

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Huge massive hugs tugs. xx

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Nothing I can say will heal the hurt but wanted to send you my love as you have been so supportive to me and I want you to know it's really helped me so thank you and I hope I can do the same for you

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Thank you x

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Oh no!!!! Tugsgirl in soooo gutted to be reading this!!! I can't begin to understand how you feeling. Just make sure look after your self. Sending you a massive hug xxxxx

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So very sorry to hear your sad news i know there is nothing i can say that will make this easier for you but i will be thinking of you. Please take care of yourself. Big hugs xx

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Oh no. Sending you so much love. You will get through this (speaking as someone who had a miscarriage at 7 1/2 weeks) but I wish I could wave a wand to take away some of the pain for you 😢

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Thank you everyone. My head hurts. My eyes hurt but most of all my heart hurts. It's my birthday tomorrow too. This is going to be the worst birthday ever x

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My heart aches for you Mrs it really does..sending you so much love xx

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Devastating news. I am so so sorry xxxx

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Ahh sweetheart, that's so awful, I'm so sorry to read this. Sending you lots of love and hugs during this difficult time. 😘 xxx

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So sorry to read this, sending big hugs, life is so cruel take care of your self Hun xx

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I'm so sorry to hear this. This happened to me thme first time. Take time out to heal and get lots of support around you. Thinking of you xxxx

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You have been through so much Missy_22, it must still be raw for you too.. thank you for taking time out of your grieving to offer comfort to me xx

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I'm so sorry...no words can help heal you right now, but know that we are all here for you.

You will come through this in the end. I know that it feels like your whole world and heart has stopped at the moment, but sadly us ladies always bounce back to face more hurdles x

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Oh no. So sorry to hear this. Big big hugs to you and your OH x

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I'm so sorry to read this my heart goes out to you, life can be incredibly cruel at times and so unfair. take care of yourself I'm sure it will take some time for the news to settle and to greive your loss, so very sorry xxx

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Such awful news. I am so sorry that this happened to you, just so unfair 😔 x

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I'm so so sorry Tugsgirl I feel your pain life is so cruel. I hope in time u find the strength to get through this. X sending big hugs xx

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I only hope to find as much strength as you have shown so that I'm ready to fight again xx

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It takes time hun honest over the years ive not really dealt with my failed ivfs just carried on and now im pregnant i need therpy to deal with it. One thing I will say is grieve for your loss and u will find the strength to carry on. Xx here if u eva need a chat. X

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Vonny you keep saying never give up. I won't. Not while I have those three embies sitting in the clinic. I'll find the strength from somewhere. After that, who knows. You are the stuff that hope is made from. Thank you xx

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I'm so so sorry to read this Tugs. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. X

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Oh tugsgirl😢😢 I am so so sorry to read this and as someone who has been in this exact position I know the pain and upset you are both going through right now and makes me feel so sad for you both. Sending you huge hugs and if you have any questions about anything they've discussed with you then please message me. So so sorry xx

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Thank you for your kind offer x

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😭😭 I don't know what to say to you Hun. This is just so so unfair. I'm so sorry about your angel. I can understand your confusion over how progesterone. I know a lot of people think it just delays the inevitable, but I'm not a fertility doctor and they know what they are doing. It's even more cruel when it's missed. I'm so so sorry for you. ❤️❤️

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I bought wine. Couldn't drink it. I bought cigarettes (Please don't judge me, I used to be a smoker but gave up for ivf ages ago) but although I had a couple to take the edge off it, I'm not enjoying them. At least I know I won't be buying another packet. Me and smoking are truly done. I just thought they'd help my nerves but they haven't. I guess I'm just going to have to face this and deal with it, without the wine, without the cigarettes. Nothing can take the edge off it, except time x

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So sorry to hear this. Sending you hugs xxx

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Oh my god, that is horrific. :( xxxxx

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Oh Tugsgirl, this is truly horrible. Life is so unbelievably unfair & cruel sometimes. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you xxx

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Dont justify yourself. If you need a fag you need a fag. I think a bottle of wine and a cig would be one of the first things I would think of, and I haven't smoked in 7 years. just do whatever you need to do. I've been there myself and I got blottoed but ended up worse for it as I'm a depressed drunk, and I still had to face it when I sobered up. Nothing's going to make you feel better Hun. Just know that there's us lot on here that feel your pain who are here to listen ❤️

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I don't know what I'd do without you all. At least I know I'm not alone here xx

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Sending you huge hugs xxxx

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Oh no Tugsgirl I'm so so sorry 😢 I can only imagine how devastated you must be feeling, huge hugs lovely xxx

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2:30 am and wide awake. I have slept a little. I woke up and forgot for a moment and then it hit me; our baby is dead. I can't believe how much my heart is breaking.

I suppose technically that it's my birthday now. 37 today. I just hope I can find the strength to get through it. I sure have had better birthdays.

Thank you again for all the support I've been shown through the good times and the bad. Keep posting those bfps. Keep posting those scan pictures. Fill me with hope again. Wherever you are on your journeys good luck, keep fighting and be kind to each other xx

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I am so sorry to here this tugsgirl I cannot begin to imagine what your going through right now , and I'm sending you all my love and hugs. If you want to rant or talk feel free to message me, I've seen your struggling to sleep which is totally understandable. I hope you find peace soon, I am so sorry for you and your partner. Your in my prayers cxxxx

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Oh my god Hun!! Gutted for u!! No words will suffice!! Sending all my love xxx

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I am so sorry to hear your news my heart is breaking for u. Big hugs 🤗 xx

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I'm so sorry about what has happened - speaking from someone who had a very similar devastating experience you need to be very kind to yourself and give yourself time - it really is heart breaking....although it's technically your birthday today you can mark it another time when you're feeling stronger - sending you a big hug x

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I'm so sorry to be reading this.

I know exactly what your going through. Our clinic scan at 7-8 weeks and as it was Christmas mine was 8 weeks where they didn't find a heartbeat. Mine was a missed miscarriage and apparently the progesterone can sometimes stop the bleeding coming. I decided on a medical management (so the tablets didn't want to risk surgery) but that didn't work (although I didn't know that at the time) then it actually happened a couple of weeks later.

I have no words to help you through this and it will be so tough for a while and I'm still struggling but you just learn to cope with it better and you will get through it.

Take care of yourself and rest up xx

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So sorry to hear this.The Lord Almighty will hold your hands and comfort you and walk you through this.I will keep you in my prayers bu God's grace.....take care of yourself.

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I am so sorry to hear this, thinking of you xx

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This journey is not an easy one and the things that happen are so unfair, you must feel so lost and helpless about it all which is understandable, take care of yourself xx

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So sorry to here this, thinking of you, ❤💋💋

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I'm so sorry to hear this, sending you a massive hug xx💔

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I'm so so sorry to hear this lovely xxx my heart is breaking for you xxxxx

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💔 I'm sorry to read this for you and your partner xx

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I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news. I am in a similar position, IVF round 4 and on what should have been our 10 week scan they couldn't see the baby's heartbeat. As we live in Dubai, we had 2 options. Let nature takes it course or have a d&c. I decided after so many injections, scans, blood tests that I would allow nature to take its course. Sadly that hasn't happened and 3 weeks on from carrying my little embryo, I am scheduled to have a d&c tomorrow. I have never experienced grief as I have with losing this baby but time is a great healer. Take comfort from family & friends, whilst some may not understand what you are going through their love for you is true. I don't know how I am going to feel after the procedure tomorrow but know that I have to let go xxxxxx I wish you all the love and strength in the world!

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Thank you so so much. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how much you're hurting. It's killing me that so many people (my OH, my Mum, Auntie, Brother and friends) are hurting too, because of me.

I have my hospital appointment in the morning. All I can hope for now is that I can pass my baby smoothly as possible. It hurts to think that too. Like I'm disposing of it somehow. I would have done anything for it not to be this way.

I hope everything goes smoothly and quickly for you with the D and C, that your recovery is quick and painless. Thinking of you too xx

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Thank you tugsgirl xx It is extremely hard to deal with your own feelings and have to worry about others. I went through it all, hope, fear, anger, confusion, sadness and sheer exhaustion but I now realise that's ok. Let those emotions come because at some point the hope will take over the anger and sadness. We have hope because after 4 long years of IVF we managed to get pregnant and enjoy a few months of an indescribable happiness and nobody can take away from us. I believe our miracles will come back to us tugsgirl, we just have to wait and be strong for them. You and embie will be in my prayers 🙏🏼 xxx I wish you all the best for your hospital appointment tomorrow.

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Oh no so sorry for your sad news 😢sending hugs xxx

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I'm so sorry my heart breaks for you. Sending all our love xx

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I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel, what you are going through or how you process what is happening right now. I am praying for you, and I truly hope that you find some peace in all of this - you are such a wonderful support to everyone here and I just really hope that we can be, at least a little, support to you. Xx

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Thank you. I don't feel that I am processing this very well. I don't know how to make this better. It's so raw. I know no one else can make this go away. I do appreciate everyone's kind words xx

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You know, I've suffered a great deal of loss in my life - none like this mind you. But what I've found is to just take it a day at a time and when that's too hard then an hour at a time and sometimes even just one minute at a time. You can't and won't be able to deal with it in one go. Someone told me once - how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. So that's how I deal with massive things - one bite at a time. I will keep you in prayers dear girl.

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I am so sorry for your loss, sending you lots of love and big hugs xxx

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I'm so sorry to read your sad news xx

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I'm so so sorry for your loss , this happened to me in January. After all the highs and lows of Ivf and getting a positive result it's just so so cruel xx

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People put so much focus onto getting that much wanted bfp.. in my experience a bfp is only the start; the worry, the stress, the emotions of the highs and lows. A bfp is not the end goal, it's just the beginning and sadly all too often that rollercoaster doesn't last much longer. It's so much tougher when the ride ends before it truly got going xx

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I totally agree I refused to say the words pregnant or let myself get excited then I got to my early scan my worst fears were confirmed. No one truely understands ivf unless you have been through it. I know miscarriage is common but to me it feels so much more brutal following Ivf. Big hugs and hope you get through the next few days ok xx

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I am so devastated for you. I haven't been on this site long but you have been someone who always provided so much support to every one in all the threads I read. I am so gutted for you. Take care of yourself. I can't imagine how you are feeling. But I send you the biggest of hugs. It is such cruel process. Take time to heal. I am so sorrry for your loss xxxxxxxx

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Thank you, again ❤️

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I'm v sorry to hear your news. Big big hugs. Time really helps to heal xx

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I'm so sorry for your loss 💕

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Tugsgirl am so very very deeply sorry. 😞 hugs to you and your partner. Thinking of you ❤️😘🦄✨✨✨✨

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💔 there aren't enough words. 😢 thoughts are with you both xx

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Thinking of you today xxx

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I am so sorry to hear this Tugsgirl. So unfair :-( Big hug to you...

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I am so sorry to hear this Tugsgirl. It is so unfair and I just wanted to say am thinking of you. xx

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Im so sorry :( x

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