Infertile Leper

Hey ladies!

So, in the last 3 days I've heard that one of my best friends and my partners cousin are both pregnant, due within 4 weeks of each other.

One had been trying 1 month, one wasn't even trying and just missed her pill :-(

I'm over the moon for them both, and i'm not writing this as I feel the situation is 'unfair' - it was always going to happen and there's obviously as reason it's us who's going through this (I'm sure we'll find out what someday!!) so I've never felt hard done by by the situation.

The main thing with this situation is that both couples were 'worried' about how they'd tell my partner and I. I'm touched by their consideration for us, which we more than appreciate, but I don't like the thought that people are considering us differently to anyone else just because we're having to go through IVF. I feel a bit like we're those people that others are walking on egg shells around...

We're both open people and have been very honest about our journey as i think it also helps raise awareness of it, so i guess we've opened ourselves up to people's reaction to it...has anyone else felt like this? Any tips on how to try and get everyone to view us like were not lepers just because we're a little bit anatomically broken?!

Thank you!

4 Replies

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  • This is difficult - I didn't want to be treated any differently either: them being worried about telling us suggests that they think we would have a problem and be bitter about their happiness and that's not the case.

    But then I had a couple of people announce pregnancies in such an inconsiderate way that it made me grateful that others actually considered my feelings. I don't think it is walking on eggshells, just having some empathy and realising that infertility must be quite difficult.

    Your friends really considering your feelings is better than the alternative. I guess your reaction, like being supportive and emphasising that you don't need to be treated differently might be enough,

  • Thank you for your reply!

    I think it's so difficult for all concerned isn't it?!

    Sorry to hear that some of the pregnancies were announced inconsiderately...it's tough on everyone...I don't think people realise how much so until they're in that situation and it's difficult to judge.

    Infertility is so much more that 'just not being able to have children' :-( xx

  • I experienced the same when sister in law fell pregnant several months after my miscarriage.the whole family had been discussing how to tell us! That made me feel worse than the actual news!!

    I think these r always going to be hurdles that we face & I suppose at least feelings were being considered but I wish I'd told them now that I'd rather they didn't creep around us and just be normal xxx

  • Thank you for your reply!

    That's good advice...maybe I'll reiterate this ti everyone!

    I know at least one other of my friend swill be trying shortly after her wedding at the end of this year so if the IVF hasn't worked for us by then, I'll tell her just to get on with it ;) xx

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