I've been following this board for a few weeks now and have been so impressed by what a wonderful group of people are on it
I think until last night I was in denial, I had convinced myself that I wouldn't need IVF and that I'd fall naturally before our time came, but AF arrived last night and the reality of what we're about to start hit me.
I know you ALL understand what I mean by I've been on an emotional rollercoaster every month since we started TTC, filled with fresh hope every month, convinced that this time it's going to work, only to be devastated each month when it doesn't. I'm now so scared that that rollercoaster is going to be 10 times worse under IVF and if I'm this much of an emotional liability with my own hormones what on earth am I going to be like with all these extra ones being pumped into me?
Then the rational part of me says all of you lovely ladies have been through it and worse and you're all keeping it together, so I can do this.........right?!
I refer you to nearly every post I've written on here to make you feel less crazy. As I'm sure others would. Looking forward to hearing more about your journey. Take time for yourselves and make sure you talk to each other and find time to explain to your partner what you feel you're going through. Men are notorious for not opening up as much. Ask questions on here and keep a folder of all the info you get and letters etc. Read books; don't read google. Read google and laugh at the previous sentence I said and don't feel bad for it.
Follow other ladies on here and get to know them. They really are a great bunch. I'm about to meet a lady from another forum in a few weeks. I'm so excited to meet someone who has been through what I'm about to start...twice! With success!!
Oh thank you Emu, like I say my rational mind knows that's true but my head is all over the place today. You're absolutely right about talking, I expect my husband to know how I'm feeling and yet half the time I don't even know how I'm feeling myself!!
Have just read your post about not sleeping so see your mind is just as active. How is the journal going?
I see we'll both be going through treatment in April so look forward to following your progress. Thanks again. X
Learning from my first round is that husbands have NO idea how hormones work. Mine literally thought I was just being mean to him and didn't relate my miserableness to the hormones I was taking. We will be starting second round very soon and have had lots of chats, think he has much better understanding now of how difficult it is for me and I am more aware of how to involve him more, as he felt like he didn't really have much of a role last time. I would definitely advise talking a lot to each other throughout. If your DH is anything like mine, encouraging him to google to find out about other people's experiences with their hormonal partners was helpful too... there are some good videos on YouTube and stuff about what it is like too, which you might both want to watch.
I'll be with you in April... sounds like a few of us will be going through our rounds together xx
Thanks Lizzie. I know talking is the right thing to do, it's just remembering to do it rationally. After being upset by AF arriving and DH appearing to be more interested in the TV, I slumped down and snapped "We need to talk about this!".....at least I was half way there I guess! Hopefully next time I'll remember to ask more calmly!!
I love emu's idea below of planning nice things to do during the process... maybe we should all also plan some nice date nights with our other halves, where we can talk to them without the tv in the way!
Mind you, nights out may lead to having to inject in a pub loo... I was ok with this last time but I think I caused a few queues as I was in the cubicle so long!!! 😀
Well MrsB76 - I bought the book and I've slept loads better. I'm so pleased to almost be starting. Lizzie's post is spot on. I had some of the worst arguments with my husband over ivf. This time he is much more prepared! x
I remember being more and more distant when down-regging, then started the stims and felt I could communicate again... which ended up with me in floods of tears in the kitchen shouting at him "I just want you to tell me I am doing well!" Some communication!!!
We are both determined to do so much better this time!!
Yes! I had a similar moment. When my injections started to sting and I was tired of doing the same day in day out... as I got home to do injection one night and not looking forward to it I was locked out the house!! I was uncontrollably angry - for no reason. Hubby in shower - I could hear the water!; i was home early and my head told me I'd never get in the house in 1 hour and 50 minutes time!! So I sat on the doorstep and cried. Nothing prepares you for the first time - just have to go with it! When do you start? x
Going for internal scan on Thursday, hopefully starting injections on 31st march, assuming all is well on scan. It's 11 months since my first round... time flies! Had a laparoscopy then pregnancy which ended in miscarriage in between so it has all been quite eventful. Struggling to stay positive at the moment so hopefully once we start this round I'll feel better because we are actually doing something!
Have a local friend who is starting a few days before me- she is going to be a surrogate. I have been keeping busy getting a little care package together for her to get her through the first week of meds... whilst wishing Hubbie would take the hint and make one for me!!
You sound like the perfect ivf partner! Can I send you my address?!
I made a list of things to do in 2ww yesterday. Helped me plan nice things. You should try doing a list of nice things you'll treat yourself to in treatment: you deserve it xx
Glad to hear you're both more prepared this time emu, hoping we can avoid the arguments if I take lizzie's advice and talk regularly and calmly but watch this space!! 🙈
Hi MrsB76. Yes, you can! As well as the ladies here, who are all fab, you will be able to access some counselling if you want at the clinic/hospital where you are having treatment. There may be a support group there too, otherwise if you feel you want to go to one, and there's not one available, then have a look at our website fertilitynetworkuk.org and you will be able to see what is available in your area. Obviously I do wish you well with all of this, and of course for success. Thinking of you. Diane
Thanks Diane, the clinic had offered counselling but right up until last night I didn't think we would need it. I will certainly give it some serious consideration now. Really appreciate your response and all of the support you provide on here. x
You will be fine. You will be stronger than you can give yourself credit for right now. No ones saying it will be easy, there will be many highs and lows but you will get stronger xx
Thanks Tugsgirl, how are you feeling after your pains at the weekend? I really hope they have eased off and you're able to relax a little more today. Do you have a date for your first scan? Hope all goes well and you get the reassurance you need. x
Oh yes I feel much calmer now. Beginning to get used to all the cramps and twinges and panic if I don't feel anything lol! Scan is booked one week today 🤞 👍🏻 🙏🏻 X
It's truly a rollercoaster but with a bit of luck hopefully the end is worth it. Think I had all the emotions in the space of five minutes just before the first DR injection! Hope it goes well x
Hi Mrs B. Welcome! Just to echo what the other ladies have said - you can do this!! I sooo know what you mean about the reality of IVF suddenly hitting you. Its easy to ignore it in the hope that there's still time for it to happen naturally. Hopefully you'll find that once you've got started and have a better picture of what will happen and what you're working towards, you'll find it a little less daunting In the meantime that this is a fantastic place to vent all those crazy emotions that we have all experienced! big hugs xxx
Thanks so much Strawb. It's certainly nice to know I can be as unstable as I like here and no one will judge me (too much!!) 😝. Good luck for your EC on Wednesday. Xx
Hey MrsB76 YES you can do this. And if you've any concerns or just want to vent there's always someone here who can relate to what you're going through. It is very important to include your other half and make sure you make some time for the two of you so he can feel like he is involved. Tell him when your excited or when your feeling low, he'll be there for you. And dont forget to ask him for loads of hugs and cuddles Wishing you all the best on your journey and remember take it one step at a time xxx
I don't think that sounds daft at all. Makes perfect sense to me. Hope you are able to relax (just a little) once you've had ET and have provided a safe welcoming home. X
You certainly can do this MrsB!! This forum has been a real source of comfort and strength for me I just wish I had found it sooner! The ladies on here really are fantastic and there's such a wide range of experience in all things fertility!
I don't think people realise how overwhelming IVF can be, so my advice would be try not to think too far ahead, just take it one step at a time and don't think on to the next part of your treatment as this is where the 'what ifs' can rear their ugly heads!
I'd also echo what the other ladies have said, take time to do nice things for yourself, it's not going to be the most pleasant time of your life so be a bit selfish! Talking to your partner is so important (mine actually said to me in our first cycle 'I'm not a mind reader you know!' And that's when it clicked for me...)
Other than that my advice would be to just accept before you get started that some days you'll feel great, others you will feel like tearing someone's head off, or crying at the slightest thing (I cried because I couldn't open a jar once....)
Keep us updated on your treatment and sending my best wishes to you xxxxx
Thanks so much Sprinkles, I think you're right about the one day at a time and once stage at a time. It can all get very daunting and overwhelming otherwise can't it.
Wishing you all the very best for your FET. Will be following your journey and hoping this is your time. Xx
Oh MrsB you can absolutely do this!! Don't get me wrong, you'll have your moments but I think like most of us you will be surprised by your own strength. Just make sure you take time for yourself during the process, ask questions at every step of the way and keep in touch with us all for some reassurance and support when the rational part of you disappears (which it regularly does for me during the process!). Wishing you a huge amount of luck of your journey. This whole thing is really scary but it's also really exciting, look at it as an adventure! x x x
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thanks for the luck 
I'm back 😁🙋♀️
Feeling alone
Feeling very low. 😪
Group Session - IVF Info 08/07/19 Birmingham Women's Hospital 
1st Ivf/icsi cycle feeling very emotional!
