Missed miscarriage at 8 weeks

So after 3 weeks of limbo and continual scans we have a confirmed missed miscarriage now our little embie stopped growing at 6 weeks :( I have had no bleeding or anything so feel like my body has given me false hope.

I don't think I have ever felt this sad. To come this far after our second icsi cycle for it to be then taken away like this where is the justice in this whole god damn process :( sorry for my rant just needed to let this out a bit ...... not quite sure what to do next any advice for how to pick yourself up?

Thanks

Jo

12 Replies

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  • So sorry for your loss. Rant all you like and this is the place to do coz there will be others who can help.

    I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you x

  • I'm so sorry to see this. I also have just recently suffered this after IVF. I had no idea anything was wrong and also had no bleeding. I was scanned at 9 weeks and the baby was only measuring 8 weeks with no heartbeat :(

    I have now just finished my bleed and trying to move on but am also finding it hard. All I can say is that I've tried to distract myself as much as possible.

    You're right there is no justice and I have no idea what is next for me but at the moment its just taking time for me.

    I hope you feel better soon, time is a healer and you aren't alone in this xx

  • Hiya hon

    I have been in exactly the same situation over the last few weeks. Two weeks ago I went to get checked out as I noticed a few strange things and our world fell apart. We had lost the foetal heart beat. We had to wait another week for repeat scans and living the nightmare again, bloods etc.

    We were informed we had lost our baby and had a missed miscarriage.

    I TOTALLY know how you feel.

    I am not sure what advice or support you have been given re the next steps. Please PM me if you would like more details as to what we did etc.

    I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how early or late it happens it is still a massive shock and a loss. We need to be kind to ourselves. We need to be true to our feelings and we will have good days and bad days.

    xxxxx

  • So sorry to hear your news. It does get easier with time believe me. Take the time out to grieve. x

  • I'm so sorry to read this Jo. Don't apologise for talking about how you feel, it's so important to let it out. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up about feeling sad or upset. You will be in shock and need to grieve. Sending lots of love to you, it is so unfair x x x

  • So sorry you feel so lost. I had my miscarriage confirmed after first ivf yesterday. ERPC tomorrow. I've know since first preg test that levels were low but had 6 weeks of limbo. Don't feel I can ever do it again but it helps to hear I'm not alone. I'm not sure what age/finances are like but do you think you could do with a bit of time off before thinking what's next? In terms of practicalities, the miscarriage association have got some good leaflets and a help line to call too if you need more space to vent. But like the others said, vent here. It helps me to know I'm not alone x

  • Sorry to hear you have been through such awfulness too I have found that website and it looks great thank you I think we are going to try and take a bit of time out before facing other options like you I'm not sure what I can face again but we will both get there I'm sure, take it easy xxxx

  • Aw jojones86, I know exactly how your feeling, I had a missed miscarriage almost 2 years ago and found out at a private scan at 9wks 4days. It is such a horrible thing to have to go through, emotionally, mentally and pysically and it does take time. Let yourself cry as much as you want, scream and shout if needed, I did it all! Have you decided on a natural passing or medical procedure? I opted for medical just to make the emotional torture easier as couldn't face the waiting and what i'd see. Without sounding harsh, and just so you are fully aware, If you go down the natural route you will have a mini full on labour and that I couldn't have handled. Re moving forward just plan something nice to do every month, something you can look forward too, no matter how big or small, meals with old friends, trips away etc, as even on your darkest days you then always have something to look forward too. It will take lots of time to recover, but that's normal, completely, but above all else never give up on hope for the future as that is the biggest survival tool of them all as well as love, family and friends. Be kind to yourself now, you thoroughly deserve to be. Sending you a big hug xx

  • So sorry to hear this, thinking of you xxx

  • I'm really sorry to read this, I wouldn't wish this to anyone. I had a miscarriage last year after my second IVF cycle and it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. And I've been through a lot. It all started with underdevelopment and no hb at 6wks, healthy hb of 140pm at 7weeks, then 10 days later a slow hb of just under 50pm. I was told to go home to wait for MC and contact the EPAU. I waited for nearly two agonising weeks without knowing if my little beanie was alive or dead until the MC started. It was painful and horrendous. I didn't need any medical procedures as my body did a great job of cleaning my womb completely (the irony). Don't be scared though - a lot of women classify an early mc physically feeling not much more like a heavy period. The further gone you are, the worse it is. It takes strength and courage to embark on this journey but it takes ironmade faith to stay on it. We have this community to get us through when you think nobody else understands so go on ranting if you need to, it is indeed not fair and I can only send you lots of hugs and let you know I'm thinking of you during this time. Go easy on yourself, the emotional recovery takes time. Move on as fast or slow as you can and want to. Don't suffer in silence, you're not alone. Have some distractions and try to do something little for yourself every day. It doesn't sound like much right now but life does go on. There's no way of knowing how difficult or easy you will personally find this so just take one step at the time xoxo

  • So sorry to hear your news there isn't any justice to what's you've been through and it's so hard to make any sense of it all. I had a missed miscarriage three weeks ago and found out at 12 weeks that the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks and 5 days it was a natural conception so I didn't have the added build up that you've been through to get to where you are. Three weeks on from my mmc I am coping better with the loss and I feel more stable with my emotions and I just think at the moment the only thing to say is that you will feel better with time and I know this doesn't help right now as you just want an easy fix to make everything okay again. Allow yourself time to greive and be upset, angry and all the other things and take one day at a time. Xxx

  • I'm really sorry to hear your news Jo. It's only natural that you feel really gutted. Be kind to yourself in the best way you can. As others have said time will help but I know it doesn't feel like it at the time. The only advice I have is to let yourself feel how you feel do what feels right to you. I found having something to look forward to in the near future quite helpful the last time I miscarried. We had a holiday booked and I thought we would go and just be miserable but in fact it helped to be away from normality if you see what I mean. However, the first time I just wanted to stay at home and not see anyone before eventually feeling 'better.' I think it was because the first time was complicated because they thought it was a molar pregnancy so I had to have an erpc and there was a lot of waiting about for the results etc (it wasn't molar in the end). The second time was 'easier' (but not easy if you know what I mean) in that it was earlier and it passed naturally.

    Take care of yourself and I just want to send you all my best wishes for the future xx

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