8 week scan.. not good news 😞

So had my 8 week scan on Friday and unfortunately I lost it at about 6 weeks. I've had no warning except I didn't have many pregnancy symptoms so knew deep down it wouldn't be there at our scan.

We've got to go the early pregnancy clinic on Tuesday morning to decide what to do next. I was adamant Friday I wanted to do this naturally but I'm not so sure now as I just want to get it done for me emotionally but I've also heard having it removed surgically may damage things. I'm so confused.

I'm also worried that my smear is due in March and if I don't get started on my next round before and I have to have the smear and it bleeds because of everything that's been going on inside then I have to wait longer. I've got 3 more go's to fit in before next November so I'm worried if the smear doesn't go to plan I won't fit it all in.

I've obviously got to think of myself rather than the time constraints but I'm really not sure what to go for surgical or natural can anyone let me know their experiences? Xx

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  • I'm so sorry to hear this, it's heart breaking and so unfair.

    I went for a natural miscarriage, although had little choice as I started naturally so docs said it seemed right to keep going. It was painful and challenging at times, but I took comfort in the fact my body was in control and knew what it was doing. I had one bad period afterwards then my cycle was back to normal. If you do natural then do get strong pain meds and don't be a hero. Loads of advice on the miscarriage association website. Tommys is good as well.

    There is a certain comfort in surgery, it takes more control I think and you don't have the waiting which is just awful. You can have to wait a while for booking though I've heard. Equally you can opt for natural and then need surgery anyway.

    Do what feels right for you and read up on the options. Feel free to pm if you have any questions at all and look after yourself. Your body will do what it needs so listen to it and be kind to it.

    Good luck for the future xxx

  • Thank you for the reply. It's all just so confusing I'll have to write all my questions down for Tuesday coz don't think I'll be able to stop crying!

    I'm just worried with a natural I'll be at work or something and hubby works an hour away and that's if he's not on a job even further away but I'm also worried if I have surgical it could go wrong. Just feel rotten today feel sick and a bit crampy 😞 Xx

  • Don't fight the feelings, if you want to stay in bed and cry all day then do it. A water bottle I found indispensable and definitely sign yourself off work or ask your gp to. They won't hesitate and at least that's one thing you don't have to worry about.

    Do look after yourself and be selfish. There is definitely no right or wrong thing to do here xxx

  • So sorry to hear this, look after yourself xxx

  • No experience on what you've been through- but wanted to say how sorry I am to hear this- after all we go to through to get a positive its cruel. Thinking of you during this difficult time x

  • I just wanted so say how sorry I am to read your heartbreaking post! Look after yourselves at this terrible time!xx

  • So sorry to read your post. Just take your time to grieve.

    I had surgical intervention as I was bleeding heavily and in lots of pain. I think I would have chosen this anyway as once I knew it was over I wanted to get my body back to normal. I hated feeling pregnant even though I wasn't.

    One day at a time. x

  • Yeah that's how I'm feeling at the moment like and like I still need to protect it and be careful with what I'm doing. I might ask to book the surgical way and hope that maybe it happens naturally instead xx

  • I'm really sorry. I had a missed mc and gad to have treatment as nothing happened between babies dying and mc being discovered. I went for medical management (medication to make things happen) but it took weeks and 3 overnight stays in hospital. I wish I'd gone for the surgical procedure to get the mc completed quicker. The EPU should go through all of the treatment options with you. You can get your GP to sign you off, no-one would expect you to be working.

  • Thank you for sharing and sorry for your loss.

    I think I will try and get signed off or at least reduced hours as I get so bored at home! I really wouldn't want it to drag on too long just for the emotional side of things but I'm scared something might go wrong with surgical management. Will have to wait and see what they say on Tuesday xx

  • Sorry it's not worked out. It's just additional heartbreak :-(

    I wrote this for one of the other ladies the other day..thought I'd share it with you too:

    We were told about our missed miscarriage at 9+5. They said natural is better for your body to recover by itself, but if after a certain amount of time nothing had happened they would review the options.

    I dreaded the thought of it happening when I wasn't expecting it. I decided to see my acupuncturist to see if things could be progressed that way a couple of days later. I had some spotting that day before seeing her, so I knew things were beginning. Less than two days later, the main part of the miscarriage had taken place.

    I was woken up in the middle of the night with the increased cramps/pains/contractions.

    Some advice I was given:

    Make sure someone else is with you in the house, as some people can have funny turns with what is going on.

    Have some painkillers ready.

    Stock up on pads

    I can't really explain it very well, but you will know when you have passed your little one, even if you don't see anything...there is almost a feeling of your body knowing after it has happened.

    My bleeding/spotting went on for a while and I had to go back for a scan to check if anything had remained which could cause infection. I had a little bit of what they thought was blood and after some more spotting, the miscarriage was confirmed as complete at 12+5.

    Only you can truely decide what you can deal with. It might be a good option to get your other half to ask/write down the answers to the questions you have?

    The second one with IVF was much earlier being 5+2 so I opted for natural again.

    Having experienced these MC's with IVF, we know that I experienced two more before that too. They are all as difficult to deal with and you just need to take one day at a time. Look after yourself x

  • Thank you for sharing I'm sorry for your loss.

    I feel against the clock having to possibly fit three more go's in before November not that anyone has made me feel that way.

    I've started getting cramps but no spotting at all so not sure if I can stand having cramps for too long. Plus hubby works an hour away and that's if he's not on a job even further away so don't know what I would do if he was not around.

    I suppose just need to wait to se what they say Tues. Natural was my first reaction so maybe I should stick with my gut reaction and the nurse said most people go for natural so that kinda made me feel maybe that is the best way to go xx

  • I know what you mean. I always feel like I need to be doing something with my time, be it IVF or having tests. It's only been since our last private round in September resulting in bfn, that physically we've not been doing much and haven't really discussed the next steps.

    You'll be surprised what you can achieve if need be. We started out first fresh round on Xmas day 2014 (MC in march), waited 3 cycles and did another fresh cycle which was bfn, did a FET cycle which resulted in mc in October 2015.

    What you also need to think is when your next cycle is successful and you have your bambino, you won't need the other fresh cycles and can save the frosties for when you want to use them.

  • I'm so sorry for you loss I've going through a missed miscarriage at the moment a few days ago had some pain and blood and the 12 weeks scan reviled baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks and 5 days I was totally shocked as didn't notice as change. For me I started have very strong contractions pains the next day and bleed quite heavily with clots and I belive I shed everything in a couple of hours. After this experience I would say that I definitely could not have been at work when this happened as quite painful and had to be close to Toliet for quite a few hours. I understand that you want to go natural and that time is an issue I know that they can give pills to start the process so maybe this is something to consider before you look into the op. Let us know if your unsure of anything the girls on here got me through and gave me the information I needed xxxx

  • Thank you and sorry for your loss.

    It's just then not knowing when it might happen because there is no point being off work for 2 weeks and nothing happens and then go back and it does suddenly happen. It's so hard to decide 😞 Xx

  • I know how you feel it's very hard to know what is best as they leave the decision for you to make and in some ways you just want someone to tell you what is best. Could you consider how long you are prepared to wait for it to happen naturally and pre book in a date with the hospital now to go ahead with treatment if nothing has happened by the date you are prepared to wait for. I would also carry paracetamol and the highest procetion sanity towles around with you if you start to get pains start wearing a pad just in case you will feel something happending when it does. For me when the pain got really bad paracetamol didn't help (I remember thinking I can deal with the pain but any worse I'm going to hospital) and then half an hour later it all happened I know we are all different and I hope this is over soon for you keep in touch with how you get on xxx

  • Yeah I was thinking of maybe booking a date with them and if it happens natural before then it's meant to be. I just couldn't live with myself if something went wrong via the surgical route but without sounding cruel I would just like to get on just so I can move on emotionally just being stuck at this stage is an awful feeling xx

  • So sorry my dear to read this. I had 2 miscarriages and both times had medical intervention...nothing was happening, I felt really pregnant still and emotionally could not cope waiting or seeing it happen as just too sad.both times went well...nurses lovely and was only day case so home in evening..once over I could start to move forward...sending big hugs for whatever you decide xxx

  • Thank you and sorry for your losses. I've not really had many symptoms to start with but it's just the waiting I don't think I would handle it's all so emotional and I would hate for things to start whilst at work coz there is no point having time off whilst I'm waiting as that could be a while. Xx

  • Sending lots of love...it will be emotional still but over....here for you xxx

  • I went through a miscarriage NYSE at 9 weeks. The drs suggested I go natural as it was very early miscarriage and I would have a little more pianrhan normal periods. But believe me I started having literally contractions and passing clots I couldn't bare d pain had to be take to hospital. It started T week 12 and it took 2 more periods to clear everything. And it was really excruciating going back and forth for scans after loosing it. So if was a little bit more aware back then I would have definitely gone for a surgical one and honestly it's done within an hour and ur all clean. And being from drs family I know it's a safe procedure too.

    Do whatever u feel right.

    Xx

  • Oh that sounds awful. I've read a few stories about it being painful so it's starting to push me towards the surgical way as long as it's under general as I don't really want to remember that it's bad enough remembering the scan on Friday. Thank you for sharing and so sorry for your loss 😞 Xx

  • Exactly totally am with you.

    The pain of things dragging and lingering on is worse than d feeling of loosing it after going through this much. So just drift away in a beautiful sleep and when u wake up everything is history and in just few days u can put urself together for moving forward. And moving forward is always difficult with burdens of d past.

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