2017 here I come

[allieb21]

Hi all,

So had my nurse app today and good to go again for 2nd and last NHS cycle in Feb.

But I broke down and got upset as I, and my husband, explained how stressed I feel about work. As some may know from my posts before, I'm a teacher (subject lead) and a HoY in a tough secondary where in Jan I believe it'll be even harder if things don't swiftly change under a new head. I also have to take over a GCSE group which is more stress on top.

My school has been supportive but I know in my head and heart that I can't waste my cycle if I feel how I feel now so need to wait until I feel stronger about work.

So looking at a brief postponement and at April and my Easter hols as if my cycles continue as normal it fits in well.

At least by then, I'll know how I feel about work. I also do think that if I have to that I will not hesitate to go see a doc for a sick note as as soon as I step into my school I'm overwhelmed. I have talked to the deputy who has recorded all my concerns and will pass them up so I know I've done everything right.

End of the day I can't rush into it so I have to do what's best for me.

Now to try relax and enjoy Christmas. Thanks to all who have advised me the last while I so appreciate it. xxx

[vic77]

Try to have a nice relaxing Xmas..that's what we are planning before cycle 2 in January. Let's hope 2017 is both our years xx

[allieb21 in reply to vic77]

Hi Hun yep that's the plan. I hate that work affects me so much but have to give myself the best shot! Enjoy Christmas xxx

[vic77 in reply to allieb21]

I am the very same..I am trying so hard to give less of a shit about work and trying some mindfulness too which helps ..good luck Hun xx

[allieb21 in reply to vic77]

Good luck too love xxx

[Jenkins89]

Good luck with you new cycle. I am also starting again in January after miscarriage from 1st and failing the 2nd time. 2017 is going to be a better year for us all. Xx

[katya38]

Good luck with your next cycle. It is tough understand as a fellow teacher. Annoys me tho that the pressures of our job get in the way of living our lives. I opTed for my cycle during the summer was defo easier xx

[allieb21 in reply to katya38]

I tempted by summer too but not sure if I can hold out until then. But will plan for April and see where my head is at.

It is terrible that school seems to dictate it. I know I shouldn't let it but I need to do the right time for me x

[katya38 in reply to allieb21]

Yes you need to ensure you're not too stressed as well. We were lucky in that I was offered June or July so just opted for July xx

[allieb21 in reply to katya38]

I can do as soon as I want really but I know the head isn't ready for it because of work. Opting for April for now gives me some breathing space and time at work to hopefully allow things to settle etc

If I get to April and it isn't right I'll have to reconsider but hoping I won't. I do also think I'll be seeing doc to be signed off if anything falls into school term. Went back 3 days after ET last time and I struggled so badly with work and it together x

[katya38 in reply to allieb21]

I would definitely get signed off. You dont want to look back if it doesnt work and think it failed due to school. The job is all consuming!! Will your head be supportive do you think? Xx

[allieb21 in reply to katya38]

Yea exactly. Well last time had an interim head and she was fab and the 2 deputies. Have a new head in Jan who knows the situation and has said she will continue to support.

It's not them it's the stress of the workload and behaviour of the kids. We going through turbulent times and it's been awful so hoping in next few months it settles. All I do is worry about not being in for the kids but I need to stop.

Looking at it, if my cycle continues ok I should be starting treatment end of first week or start of second week of hols and then yea get signed off after so not go back till I ready.

where are you in your story? X

[katya38 in reply to allieb21]

We've actually just been accepted to start the adoption process. Our only option was donor eggs and that's not for me. I'm lucky we don't have behaviour issues at my school but it's still exhausting dealing with small people all day!! It's not a job that is easy to do when you have other issues going on. Xx

[allieb21 in reply to katya38]

Aw that's brill Hun so hope it works out for you

It's true no matter how good or bad the school it's still going to be stressful. I resent postponing but I also know it's the right thing in my heart at least by April I'll know how things are going x

[Hopeful1982]

You definitely have to do what's best for you. Ultimately, this is the most important thing and regardless of how things work out you need to feel that you have given it your all. If work is causing that much stress then I would honestly consider taking some sick leave to get you through your next round x

[allieb21 in reply to Hopeful1982]

Thanks Hun. Yea already decided that. If all goes plan, I can start treatment whilst on Easter hols and then if still on treatment on return to work I'll see doc before hand.

Have to give this my all x

[Hopeful1982]

P.s. Good luck! 🍀

[Crispmonster]

I can totally sympathise as a fellow teacher. We postponed our second cycle to the summer holidays to try and avoid as much as possible the negative impact of all the stress and it was successful. I also found that I had real problems switching off from work so I went for acupuncture too, I'm very sceptical about things like that and am not sure about whether it was this that made this cycle work but I do know that it gave me an hour a week to focus on me and it really taught me how to change mindset and relax, not to mention finally feeling positive about it all for once! Wishing you all the best for the 2017 xx

[allieb21 in reply to Crispmonster]

Hi hun thank you.

I feel it's so wrong that I have, in my opinion, been forced into that decision even though it's best I do wait. School is going through such a massive upheaval and it's not a positive place to be. I need to let it settle ana I need to be in a positive place in my head.

I have thought about summer too but not sure can wait that long!

So wonderful to hear it was successful for you.

I did acuptunture in last cycle and was good. Don't think I always relaxed though as as you said I find it hard to switch off too. I need to try harder!!! X

[B-wood80]

Hi, I'm so grateful to have found this site and to have read the comments.

My husband and I have just had our first round of IVF and I was due to test tomorrow, but started bleeding this morning. I'm also a teacher whose work has been pretty good, but am concerned about how long this will last. We have 1 round left on the NHS and am now considering asking to postpone maybe until Feb half term - is this an option on the NHS or do they have time limits to stick to?

Sorry to gatecrash your thread x

[allieb21 in reply to B-wood80]

Hi Hun.

So sorry to hear you have started bleeding. It sucks! I got my period on my bloody due date during my 2ww. So devastating. It's so hard but you manage to pick yourself up eventually but also be sad etc as that's needed!

You sure it's your period?

On next cycle firstly you'll probably be expected to wait 3 periods anyway to get your body and cycle back ok so you probably wouldn't be Feb?

My clinic said start when ever I want past Feb and I'm sure your clinic will be the same. It's no difference to them and they want you to feel ready anyway.

NHS wise there is a time scale but it's quite good. If you check your local ccg policy. It may be something like max a year wait?

I am defo waiting I'll April anyway xxx