How do others tackle jealousy over women with newborns...ever since I found out I'd be lucky to conceive I get real jealous of others with babies yesterday isaw an acquaintance and her newborn and I was with my partner and it put an instant downer on my day I felt like bursting out crying I don't want to be jealous I'm not a jealous person but this I just can't shake I dont know how to deal with all this I feel broken xx

10 Replies

  • Unfortunately I think the feeling is normal, I always see pregnant woman or people with young babies and wish it was me, you seem to notice them more when faced with fertility issues. I just try and remember its not their fault they can conceive and if its a stranger they may have faced there own journey to get where they are xxx

  • Hi missyw. I know how you feel. I feel exactly the same whenever I see women/couples with babies or pregnant women... and they seem to everywhere. It's probably just because I am more aware of them now, because I am longing for what they have. I don't have any advice on how to deal with this, as I really struggle with it. Just wanted you to know you're not alone.

    Take care!

  • I think lots of us have had similar experiences. It's horrid feeling jealous whilst trying to look pleased for them. No easy answer. Try to be kind to yourself, it's ok to feel jealous.

  • Jealousy is inevitable, worse when it's someone you feel doesn't deserve it (sorry I know this sounds mean but it's often true). Remind yourself of the things in your life that you can be grateful for..your partner, job, family etc.

  • I get the exact same feeling whenever I see some people and their baby or bump. It's only when I don't like the person though.. Just hold your head high and keep believing it will happen for you too one day.

  • I often feel really sad when I see pregant women it's just a constant reminder of what we are missing I try and remind myself that I don't know what they have been through to get to where they, apparently one in 7 has fertility problems, miss carriages are high and there are a whole list of potential problems that can arise. I try and remind myself of this when im confronted with babeis and pregancies because I really don't want to be bitter and in that bad place. Having said that we all need to vent at times it is only natural xxx

  • I completely understand how you feel, and I felt like this for 4 years. I read somewhere recently that other people having babies isn't the reason you can't /haven't - if they couldn't have children, would you feel better? This really changed how I feel about other people being pregnant because I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone. Jealousy is a normal feeling though, so don't feel bad about it. I'm now pregnant and feel guilty for those who aren't! Really can't win!!

  • I have wrote a post thanking everyone but I just wanted to say congratulations to you and its odd I don't feel jealous of you I feel relieved for you I need to remind myself of others struggles and I wish you all the best with everything thankyou for replying xx

  • , thank you everyone for your advice ad replies I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone and that my feelings dont make me mean its normal hopefully over time I'll get used to it I wanted counselling because I thought I was wrong and didn't know how to overcome it but you all have answered all I ever needed to know thankyou solo much xxxx

  • It's hard to see others have the blessing of a baby when you are having difficulties . I found talking to a counsellor helped me resolve feelings of envy I felt towards others. Friends have shared their good news in recent weeks and I have to say I am pleased for them as I know that there baby will be brought up in a loving environment. I struggle more with those babies and children I see who are not cared for as much as they deserve.

    Try to keep hopeful and talk to those you live about your feelings .. It can help

    Take care x