So yesterday should have been what would have been my joint surprise baby shower. I dropped my friend (who is still pregnant) present at my other friends house before the party began. I decided that it wasn’t the right thing to do for me, or for my friend, to attend. I know I did the right thing.
I have however not been able to escape the photos and everyone including my friends who know about our miscarriage plastering it all over facebook and Instagram. It’s everywhere. I absolutely hate hastags at the best of times but to see #bump buddies #surprise baby shower #tears of joy #isn’t life so sodding amazing! I could vomit!
Don’t get me wrong I’m delighted for my friend but sometimes I just feel as if I’m drowning.
Why me? What did I ever do to anyone that was that bad? Why wasn’t it my time? Will it ever be my turn? I keep repeating, it’s just not fair! Some people don’t even have to try or in fact don’t even want the baby. It’s just so god damn unfair!!!
Sorry for the rant but it's so hard that even the people that do know can't understand.